Looking back on the next two weeks, AJ would think to himself about how it all seemed so wonderful and perfect. Now that they didn’t have to hide from their band members they spent more time with them. The days were spent either in their room, or hanging out with the guys, just being themselves. The evenings were taken up by concerts. It was wonderful and exciting and so much fun.
But right before they went home for break, just two days before, Brian’s brother arrived at the hotel. He was in the town they were in and wanted to spend the last two days of tour with Brian before joining him on the flight home. That meant that, yet again, they had to hide things at the hotel. The only good part of it was that Harold stayed with Kevin in his room so. That gave the couple at least the privacy of their hotel room.
It was an enjoyable visit for Brian. He laughed with his brother and had a good time in his company. But AJ was a little uncomfortable. He started to notice the way that Harold stared at him occasionally. Or how he watched them interact. It put AJ on edge and had his nerves fraying a little. But he didn’t say anything to Brian about it. There was no point. He hoped that maybe it was just his imagination. How he wished he’d been right.
After their final show, Kevin had come down to the room to fetch Brian for something. What, AJ wasn’t sure, as he was in the shower when he’d showed up. But Brian had poked his head in the bathroom to tell him “Hey, Kev needs something, hon. I’m gonna go take care of this an I’ll see you after, ok?”
“I’ll be the one with the tattoos!” AJ called out jokingly. He heard Brian’s laugh as the bathroom door shut.
Whistling, AJ finally shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He wrapped the towel around his waist, his good mood sticking with him as he took some time to sculpt his facial hair and brush his teeth. Once it was done he moved to the bedroom. He’d just pulled on his boxers and jeans when someone knocked at the door.
With his usual lack of modesty or manners, AJ bellowed out “Come in!”
He’d figured it was most likely Howie, so it surprised him when he turned and saw Harold walking into the room. Words froze in his throat at the look on Harold’s face. There was definitely temper there. What on earth was going on?
“Look, AJ, I wanted to talk to you for a minute. Without Brian here, that is.”
Well, if that didn’t sound like trouble, he’d be a monkey’s uncle. Defenses instantly kicked in. He took a seat on his bed, gesturing for Harold to sit on the other one. As the man did so, AJ leaned back on his hands and adopted a casual pose, putting that bored look into his eyes. No one would guess that he was all nerves on the inside. “What’s up?”
Harold looked at the little punk sitting on the other bed and felt his insides seethe. After quite a few drinks he’d got the whole story of what was going on from Kevin the night before. It didn’t seem like Kevin remembered come this morning, but that didn’t matter. Harold remembered, and he was livid. He had no idea what had set off the fight between AJ and Brian a long time ago, and he didn’t care. All he cared about was that this little shit had hurt his brother for years, and he wasn’t going to sit back like everyone else and wait for it to happen again. He was going to stop it any way he could.
“I know the truth about you and Brian.”
A flash crossed AJ’s eyes, enough to tell Harold that he’d worried the younger man. Well, good. He should be worried. But then it disappeared under that bored look again. God, this kid was so fucking annoying. Didn’t he feel anything for longer than two seconds? “Congratulations.” AJ said cockily. “Is that all?”
“Excuse me? Maybe you didn’t understand. I know you two are fucking. I know that you two act like you’re a couple, as unnatural as that is.” Harold explained through gritted teeth.
He had no idea how his words were making AJ feel on the inside. The nerves that intensified, or the fear that sat under the surface. “Again, congratulations. Glad we don’t have to hide anymore, to be honest. We’re a couple. We care about one another. It was an inconvenience to have to cover it up just cause you were here. So, I guess, thanks too. Is that it? Cause I gotta get ready for bed.”
Harold wanted to ball his hands into fists. But two could play this stupid aloof game. His mind spun quickly as he saw a way to get the goal he wanted. If Brian ever found out, he’d be beyond pissed, but Harold would chance anything to keep his brother from being hurt by this conceited little prick. Everyone knew that AJ couldn’t stick by anything. It was only a matter of time before he’d break Brian’s heart. Harold intended to make sure that all of this stopped now.
He forced his lips to curve with mirth. “Care about one another? You’re so clueless, AJ. You think he cares about you? You’re stupider than I thought you were!”
AJ couldn’t help the way his stomach knotted. If it had been anyone else, he might have told them to fuck off. But this was Brian’s brother. Would he sit here and lie to him about this? “What the hell are you talking about?” Some of his temper leaked in to his voice.
That made it easier for Harold to put on his amused look. “I told you, I know about the two of you. Kevin was drunk enough last night to tell me everything. Not just your so-called ‘relationship’ but the truth about it all.”
“Truth? Listen, whatever the hell you think you’re talking about, you have no clue about him and I, so butt out.”
“No clue? AJ, I’ve known what he’s felt about you from day one.”
The truth of that statement struck home to AJ, bringing back up all the old fears, the old anger. But, no, he and Brian had talked about that. They’d worked past it. Hadn’t they?
Harold saw the weakening n AJ’s eyes and pressed his point further. “You really think that’s changed? You two hated each other for way to long. Did you think he’d just forget about all the shit you gave him? You’re so fucking stupid. Kevin told me what’s really going on. What Brian told him about the two of you.” The lies rolled easily off of Harold’s tongue. He had no qualms about lying to this little freak. If it protected his brother, God would forgive the lies. “Did you think he really cared about you?”
“Fuck off, Harold.” AJ swore, sitting up straight. “I know he cares about me. So take your little drama ass out of my room before I throw you the fuck out.”
Laughing, Harold shook his head. “God, you are stupid! Brian doesn’t give a shit about you, AJ. He never has and he never will. It’s like he told Kevin; why the hell would he care about someone who’s such a fucking geek? A little street punk that thinks he’s tough when really, he’s just a whiny little flaky geek. He’s using you, AJ, and you’re too fucking stupid to see it’s all just revenge. Use you and dump you to get you back for all the ways you’ve hurt him.”
AJ felt like a knife was in his chest. He didn’t want to believe this. There was no way that Brian would be so cruel. But the words Harold used were so like what Brian had said all those years ago that it triggered that small part of AJ that was always afraid of being hurt. No, it couldn’t be true. Brian wasn’t like that. He would never do that. But why on earth would Harold lie about this? There was nothing for him to gain from it. Disbelief and hurt were warring inside of him.
A smirk curled Harold’s lips. “Even if he did care, he knows you’d never stick around in a relationship. Like father, like son.” The last was thrown out as the final nail in the coffin.
Everything inside of AJ shut down at those last words. No one but Brian, and Howie, knew how badly AJ worked to prove he wasn’t like his father. That had been one of their midnight discussions before. Only Brian and Howie knew how hard AJ tried and tried to prove to people that he could stick around at things. For Harold to know that fear, to say it, he could have only gotten it from Brian. Inside his chest, AJ literally felt his heart break. The pain he had felt at Brian’s harsh comments when they’d first met was nothing. It was easy. But this…this destroyed him.
Harold had no idea how perfect his words were. He’d heard Kevin say before, casually, that AJ’s dad had bailed when he was a kid. Knowing that, he’d hoped it would add fuel to the fire. He’d had no idea how effective those words would be. But he saw on AJ’s face that there was no doubt about it. He had no idea that Harold was lying to him.
But Harold had no idea what he was unleashing. He thought he knew how AJ would react to this, but he couldn’t have been more wrong.
After the initial pain and heartbreak, rage filled AJ. It consumed his entire body and hazed his vision. All those words, all those times they had been together, Brian had been lying to him. AJ had told him things that he had never told another person in the entire world and the whole time Brian had been laughing at him behind his back. Using him. It was all a fucking joke? A game? He’d show him the fucking joke. To think that he had almost told Brian that he loved him!
Rising, AJ stared at Harold. The other man rose, that smirk still on his lips, and AJ did what his temper demanded. With a powerful right hook he sent Harold flying back onto the bed. Beyond that he wasted no time for him. Fury carried him out of the room and down the hallway, straight to Kevin’s door.
He flung the door open where it hit the wall with a loud crash. “Littrell!” he bellowed out, storming inside. Once in there it took him no time at all to find Brian. Out on the balcony Kevin was standing, now staring in through the crack in the sliding glass door, a phone to his ear. Brian was bent over the desk looking at some papers. At the sound of AJ’s voice he turned and straightened. His smile died on his lips. “AJ?”
“You slick son of a bitch.” AJ swore right before he dove forward and gave another Littrell a strong right hook. This one sent Brian flying into the desk and crashing into the wall. AJ wasted no time in grabbing Brian’s shirt and yanking him forward, only to hit him again, this time in the gut.
That instant defense in Brian kicked in and he launched forward, his intent obviously to try and restrain him. AJ didn’t care. His temper gave him adrenaline and he moved like an eel, sliding out of Brian’s grip, not caring where his fists landed. As they hit the ground, Brian gave up defense and was scoring hits of his own.
It was Kevin rushing in that saved Brian from being beaten to a pulp. He grabbed AJ and yanked him back, practically flinging him into the wall. “What the fuck?” Kevin shouted at him. AJ scrambled back to his feet and tried to dive forward again, but Kevin caught his arm and flung him backwards again. This time AJ crashed into the mini fridge. The pain of it impacting with his ribs was enough to have AJ gasping and seeing stars. The adrenaline in his system cushioned him from most of the pain, but not all of it. He had to hold his side as he climbed back to his feet.
By then Brian was also standing holding a hand to his mouth. “What the hell, AJ!” he demanded, his blue eyes full of hurt.
That just fueled AJ’s temper. How dare he try to play him? “You stay the fuck away from me, Littrell, or I swear to God, next time no one will stop me.”
“What are you talking about? AJ, what’s going on?”
“Don’t play stupid with me!” AJ screamed. He didn’t care about the audience that had gathered around them, filling the hotel room. Nothing else mattered but the rage and the pain. “I know all about your little fucking game. You thought you could use me? You fucking lied to me! Well, I won’t put up with it.”
“What game? What lies?” Brian shouted back at him. “Jesus, AJ!”
“You’re a son of a bitch, Brian Thomas Littrell, and you can rot in fucking hell. Come near me again, and I swear to you, this will pale in comparison to what I’ll do to you. You’re a liar, and an asshole. I trusted you!” Some of his pain leaked through then, and tears built in his eyes. The rage to fight changed to the need to run. With those tears in his eyes he couldn’t see the confusion or the hurt on Brian’s face. “I know all about what you said to Kev, and all about your little revenge plan. Well, it worked. You succeeded in hurting me. You won. Now stay the fuck away from me, and stay the hell out of my life.”
Before he could shame himself further by breaking down in tears, AJ shot from the room, one arm wrapped around his waist. He passed by Harold in the hall but he just ignored him. All he needed to do was pop in the room, grab a shirt, shoes, and his wallet and he was out. Fuck the rest of his stuff. Fuck waiting for his flight out in the morning. He was going home, now.
~~~~~~~~~~
Brian stared at the door of the hotel room as it slammed shut. The aches and pains in his body faded to the background. They were nothing compared to how his heart felt. What the hell had that been? What the hell was going on?
A hand touched his shoulder gently. It brought his attention back to reality. He looked over to see Kevin watching him with compassion. “Bri, are you ok?” he asked him gently.
Ok? Was he ok? How could he be ok? “What was he talking about? What does he mean, what I said to you?” he asked quietly. It hurt to talk past the fat lip he had going.
“I don’t know, Bri. I have no idea what’s going on.”
“He looked so hurt.” That was so important to Brian, even with everything else. The rest of it he couldn’t understand, but the hurt on AJ’s face and the tears that had been in his eyes tore at Brian’s heart. “He was crying at the end. An his ribs. I think you hurt his ribs, Kev. You shouldn’t have done that.”
He knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. His body and his mind were in shock. He turned back to stare at the door, not paying any attention to the words Kevin muttered, or to Howie and Nick coming toward him. But what did finally snap him out of his shock was when Harold came walking through the door.
The black eye that Harold sported seemed to stand out like a siren. In one single instant, Brian felt his brain become completely clear. It took nothing at all for him to make the connection between Harold’s fresh looking black eye and AJ’s temper explosion. The shock on Harold’s face, echoed by a quick flash of guilt, was all the confirmation that he needed.
This time it was Brian who was gripped by rage. Brian who flew across the hotel room before anyone could think to stop him. He swung a hard left hook, catching Harold’s other eye. “You asshole!” he shouted out.
Kevin was faster this time in moving to restrain. He had Brian’s arms behind his back, but he couldn’t contain his legs. Brian kicked them out as he tried to get back over by his brother. Harold was clutching his other eye now and swearing up a blue streak.
To the surprise of everyone it was Nick who stepped into the center of the room, held up his hands, and called out “Enough!” over the babble of loud voices. When everyone was silent and looking at him, Nick glared between the two brothers. “What the hell is going on here? J comes in and attacks and leaves crying. You have a black eye…” he pointed to Harold, then over to Brian “…and you gave him another one! What on earth is happening here?”
“This is his fault.” Brian hissed out. He saw Harold open his mouth, knew that he was going to protest, and roared. “I’m not stupid, Harold! What on earth did you say to him? What lies did you tell him to make him that mad? I know it was him that hit you!”
Harold shuffled a little. He was unsure of what to do. Never, in his entire life, had he ever seen Brian this mad. Certainly never at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit!” That swear word coming from Brian’s lips has everyone quiet. “I will not be lied to. Tell me what the hell you said, Harold, and right now, or I swear that I’ll beat the truth out of you.”
“I’ll help.” Kevin said softly as he let go. He saw the same guilt on Harold’s face that Brian did and could feel his temper rising up. “What did you do?”
Under the glare of all four of them, he broke down and told them what he’d done. When Harold finished, Brian shoved past them all to rush to his room, but he was too late. AJ was already gone. His stuff was there, but it didn’t take Brian long to realize that his wallet and such wasn’t. Sitting on his bed, he put his head in his hands and let the tears flow. What the hell was he going to do now?