That night AJ had to share his room at the hotel with Howie. All and all, not a bad arrangement. It was good to see his friend again. But as he put his stuff away, AJ knew he couldn’t stand just sitting in the hotel room for the whole night. There was no way he could just spend the evening chatting with Howie, or watching movies.
What he really wanted was to go curl up somewhere with Brian and snuggle until the hurt started to fade, and then make love until the sun came up. Seeing as how that wasn’t an option, he would have to find something else to do. When Nick burst in and announced that they were hitting the clubs, it seemed like a perfect opportunity.
So out to the club they all went, the entire group of them, and spent the evening dancing and drinking and having a great time. AJ drank more than he should have, he knew that, but who cared if someone got a little drunk after the kind of day he’d had?
It worried Brian a little to watch AJ throw himself into the party so hard, and downing drinks left and right. But he, too, thought that AJ deserved something to help loosen up after the fight with his mother. Everyone had asked where Denise had gone, and all AJ would say was that they’d had a fight. Nothing more.
By the time they were ready to go home, AJ was good and drunk, as was Nick. Kevin had already gone home so that left Howie to carry Nick and Brian had a hold of AJ. Somehow they got the stumbling men into the hotel, chuckling as they dumped them in their beds and then went to their own rooms.
“See you in the morning, Rok.” Howie said as he passed by.
“Sweet dreams, D.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow this started to become the pattern for the next two weeks. More and more often they hit the clubs and night, and somehow Brian found himself escorting a drunken AJ back to his room. They hadn’t been put in the same room since their first few nights on tour, so Brian hadn’t had the chance to confront AJ about the amount he was drinking yet. Every time they managed to steal a few moments together he didn’t want to waste it ranting about AJ’s drinking. But finally, after two weeks of it, he and AJ got the same room together.
Once the show was done, everyone was getting ready to go to the after party. Brian was determined to get his lover back to the hotel for some privacy. So, quiet as could be, he snuck down to the dressing room that AJ was using and let himself inside.
There was AJ, dressed down only to his boxers, and completely alone. Brian grinned and locked the door behind him before strolling over. Just as he got close, AJ turned to look. He didn’t hesitate in turning and opening his arms, taking Brian into them. “Hey there, sugar plum.” He rasped out.
“Sugar plum?” Brian chuckled. He snuggled close and just inhaled that scent that was pure AJ.
“Meh, I thought I’d give it a try. You never know. I’ll find one, one day.”
“Well keep trying, oh brilliant one.”
One of AJ’s hands slid down to pinch at Brian’s ass. “Did you come in here just to pick on me?” he asked, his voice a mock threat. A chuckle bubbled up in Brian’s throat. “Nope. Wanted to see if you were going out to the party, or if I could persuade you not to feel well and stay with me at the hotel.”
The look AJ gave him could have melted the paint off the walls. “Do you even have to ask?” he growled out. Without warning he grabbed Brian’s hips and yanked them close together so that Brian couldn’t mistake the hardness pressing against him. AJ leaned in, biting on Brian’s earlobe. “It’s been a week since I’ve been inside you, Brian Thomas Littrell. I mean to correct that tonight.”
All thoughts of a serious conversation drained from Brian’s brain. He could only focus on the heat of AJ’s body, and the reminder that AJ was wearing just his boxers. “God, J, I want you in me. It’s been hell not being able to touch you whenever I want.” His earlier worry came back, and Brian couldn’t rest reaching up to cup AJ’s face in his hands. “I’m worry about you lately.”
Closing his eyes, AJ rubbed his cheek against one of Brian’s hands. The gesture was sweet enough that it almost brought tears to Brian’s eyes.
“I know you have. I could see it on your face each time I go out.” The admission surprised Brian, though he knew it shouldn’t have. No matter what, AJ was always brutally honest with him. He was also a complete romantic, despite what others thought. His next sentence proved that. “It’s hell for me to not be able to curl up by you at night, or wake up to you in the morning. I miss the sex, but I miss the cuddling. Lately that’s all I feel like I need. Just being in your arms.”
“Oh, baby, that’s what I want too. More than anything.” He let go of AJ’s face to wrap his arms around him and pull them flush against one another. Who knew how long they would have before someone came looking for one of them. Right at the moment Brian knew that AJ needed that hug more than anything, and honestly, he needed it too.
“I know I’ve been drinking a lot. But I can’t just stay in my hotel room. I get to thinking about Ma, an missing you, and I start to go crazy. If I go out at least I’m distracted for a little while. Do you understand?”
When put that way, how could he judge him for it? Who could blame a man for wanting to forget his loneliness for a little while? “You know I’d stay back from the parties with you. I’m usually paired up in a room with Nick and he always goes. If you need me, you can come down and get me.”
AJ kissed the side of his neck. It was a tender gesture that brought the tears back to Brian’s eyes. He rubbed his hands over AJ’s back to try to soothe him. This was what he had been missing the past few days. This was what he needed. What the both of them needed, really. “I love you so much, Alex.”
“I love you too, Brian. You’re my world. Without you I don’t know what I’d do.” A small sniffle came from AJ. That sign of tears had Brian hugging him tighter. “It just hurts, you know? I tried calling her again.”
“Oh, baby. Did she answer this time?” His heart broke for what his love was going through. AJ had already tried to call Denise twice, wanting to talk to her and work things out. It was killing him to have his mother so angry at him that she was disowning him.
Another sniffle. This time Brian felt a tear hit his skin. He could have cheerfully gone to Denise’s house and given her a piece of his mind right then and there.
“It said the phone was disconnected or no longer in service.” AJ clenched his hands in Brian’s shirt. The pain he’d been trying to ignore, that he’d worked hard to drown for two weeks now, was rising up in him. But here, with Brian holding him tight, he was safe enough to feel it. To let it out and mourn over it. “She wasn’t supposed to do this to me. She’s the only family I have, Bri, an I’m losing her.”
Tears slid from Brian’s eyes silently. “She should have loved you for you, baby. It breaks my heart that she didn’t. I know it’s not the same and all, but…” He tipped his head, nuzzling against the side of AJ’s head. “…I’ll be your family for you. I’m not much, and I can’t replace your mom, but you’re not alone. I’ll always be with you.”
Those seemed to be the right words. AJ lifted his head to give Brian that look that always made his heart flutter. AJ was smiling so brightly it stretched up to his eyes. In those eyes was all the love in the world. Love that had never faltered or change, but was constant and bright like the sun or the stars. “It’s not the same, Bri. It’s so much better. An you are ‘much’ to me. You’re my everything. Don’t you know that? I’ll make it through all this because I have you, and that’s what matters. I just needed to be mopey for a bit.”
“Well, I’m always here for you to mope to.”
“I know. Another thing I love about you.”
Just when they would have kissed, someone tried to open AJ’s door. When they found it locked they started to bang on the door. AJ looked at Brian and there was a twinkle in his eyes that had Brian wanting to giggle. “Think we could ignore it?” AJ whispered.
“AJ! Dammit, I know you’re in there! Kev’s pissed cause the cars are ready to go an he can’t find Bri an you’re taking forever! Open the fucking door, dammit!” Nick’s voice sounded so frustrated that the two had to grin.
Quickly AJ grabbed his pants and yanked them on, followed by his shirt. Once he was dressed his gave his face a quick wipe with his hand, trying to hide the tears that were there. Brian did the same, but he knew it was useless. If he looked anything like AJ there would be no hiding it. AJ’s eyes had that red rimmed and puffy look that came from tears.
Only glaring slightly, AJ grabbed the door and yanked it open, one hand on his hip. “Could you be any louder, Carter?” he snapped out.
One look at AJ’s face had Nick changing his words. His face instantly looked concerned. “Are you ok, Age?” he asked gently. It was the kindness that did AJ in. He and Nick could pick on one another to no end, but they were close in their own way, and AJ didn’t have it in him to be deliberately mean to anyone, let alone someone like Nick that he considered his younger brother. “I’m fine, Nick my boy. Just talking about some things with Brian.”
That drew Nick’s attention over to where Brian was still standing. It was obvious when Nick saw that Brian had been crying too. He looked from one to the other and back again for a moment before deciding to speak. “Why don’t you guys go back to the hotel? I’ll tell Kev y’all don’t feel well.”
For just an instant Brian wondered if Nick knew something about their relationship. He panicked a little, thinking that they’d given themselves away. But Nick’s next words had him relaxing. Nick gave AJ a quick hug, whispering “I’m glad you’ll tell someone what’s going on. Whatever happened, don’t hold it in. Bri’s a great listener. He might be able to help.”
“Thanks, Nick.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow the two of them got quietly back to the hotel. True to his word, Nick had spoken with Kevin. Apparently everyone was worried enough about whatever had happened between AJ and Denise, and the fact that AJ wouldn’t talk about it, that they all practically shoved the two down the hall they were so eager for AJ to talk to someone about it.
AJ couldn’t help chuckling as he strolled into the room. Behind him he heard Brian shut the door. “God, you’d think I was a basket case the way they’re pushing for us to come in here so we can talk!” he called out on his way to the bed. After kicking his shoes off he threw himself onto the bed with a lusty sigh. God, it felt good to lay down.
“Well, you’ve worried us lately, baby. With how trashed you are when you get back each night. Sometimes you don’t get back until hours after I do.”
The light note of censure in Brian’s tone had AJ’s spine stiffening. So what if he wanted a drink ever now and again? Wasn’t that what parties were about? “So I have a little fun. It’s not a crime, Bri.”
Brian walked right over and sat on the foot of the bed, crossing his bare feet underneath him. “No, it’s not. It just seems like you take it a little too far sometimes.”
“I’m twenty three. If I want to party and drink, I’m legal to do so. I’m not hurting anyone, or messing up shows or anything like that. So no one has anything to worry about. Hell, I’m not getting arrested or making an ass of myself. I just drink and dance.” Guilt tugged at AJ’s mind. He didn’t mention the coke he’d done the other night. It had been the first time, and just one line. It wasn’t like it was something he did all the time. One guy had had some and he’d offered to let him try it. The shit had made him feel good, that was for damn sure.
Brian was giving him a curious look with just a hint of hurt that made AJ feel even more like shit. He knew he’d snapped harder than he should have. Reaching a hand out, he grabbed a hold of Brian’s wrist and pulled. Almost reluctantly Brian moved, letting AJ pull him over top of his body until they were lying pressed together, AJ staring up into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t snap at you like that.” He kissed Brian’s delicious mouth between words. “Forgive me?”
“Hmm.” Brian pretended to think about it for a minute. “Maybe. Maybe I won’t…” One of his hands came up, sliding under AJ’s shirt to tease at the skin there. “Maybe I will.”
Desire sprang back to life in AJ. Right then, all he wanted was the feel of his lover’s skin against his.“Is that so, huh?” With a huge grin AJ flipped them over and pinned Brian to the bed. AJ moved off the bed for a moment, surprising Brian at first, but then he started to remove his clothes and he saw lust darken Brian’s blue eyes. His lover sat up, doing the same until they were both naked. With a grin, AJ climbed back on to the bed and over his love.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for days.” AJ whispered, trailing his mouth down. He took one of Brian’s nipples into his mouth. He always enjoyed the way it would make Brian gasp and arch up off the bed. While he moved to Brian’s other nipple he brought his hand down, wrapping it around Brian’s length and starting the long, slow pulls that they were both familiar with.
He lifted his head, wanting to watch Brian’s face has he stroked him. It was one of his favorite things, to see Brian’s face as the pleasure grew inside of him. To watch as his love writhed and moaned and his eyes grew hazy with passion.
“Please, Alex…” Brian gasped out. His body was pushing up against AJ’s hand, wanting more. More pressure, more something. The begging in Brian’s voice turned him on more than he would have thought. AJ increased the pressure of his hand, eliciting a gasp from him. “Oh God.” Brian moaned.
AJ’s name fell from his lips like a prayer. Jesus. No one else said Alex quite the way that Brian did. Add the lust to it, and it was damn near the most erotic sound ever. It had AJ growing harder, if that was even possible.
Just as Brian was starting to pant, AJ moved his hand. Brian’s legs had already spread in his effort to get more from AJ, so he was open and exposed. AJ sucked one finger into his mouth for a moment before bringing it down. He leaned in and kissed Brian, their tongues clashing with one another right as AJ pressed his finger into Brian’s puckered hole.
Still kissing him, AJ wiggled that finger around, adding another one and scissoring them to try and loosen him up. It had been a while for them and he didn’t want to hurt Brian. That wasn’t tonight’s game. They were both in a bit of a hurry, that need built up, but both knew that tonight was about sweetness.
After a moment he pulled his fingers out and adjusted his body. As AJ positioned himself at Brian’s hole, he gave him one final kiss. AJ braced himself on his arms and poured himself into the kiss. Gently he pushed forward into that warmth and those tight muscles that seemed to try to suck him in. Gasping into Brian’s mouth he kept pushing until he was buried. Their kiss broke, Brian’s head falling back into the pillows. He lifted his hips, angling them for a more comfortable position. It didn’t take him long to adjust.
Together they set an easy pace, bodies fusing together at their mouth as well. Hands ran everywhere, touching and feeling and rubbing. Neither one of them could hear their own panting. They heard nothing over the sound of the beating of their hearts.
“God, Alex.” Brian ran his nails down AJ’s back, trying to let him know that he needed more. The pleasure was building but it wasn’t enough to finish yet and he felt like he was dying.
AJ kissed him again and picked up the tempo. He brought a hand to Brian’s cock, taking a hold and matching the movements to his thrusts. He could see in Brian’s face that he was getting close. So was he. To satisfy them both, AJ brought his mouth to Brian’s ear and bit down his earlobe. As always it was the perfect thing to fling Brian over the edge.
Watching Brian’s face as he came, those bright eyes of his seemed to fill full of light, his beautiful mouth gasping open and the pleasure that filled his face was enough to send AJ over the edge, joining him with a deep moan of his own.
The two men lay in a tangled mass together. It was Brian who broke the silence by chuckling. “I think I need a shower.”
AJ couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I probably do too.”
“Join me?”
Now, how on earth could he pass that up. Lightly he smacked Brian’s thigh and rolled off him. “Go get it going, I’ll get our jammies and shit.”
Brian stole a quick kiss on his way to the bathroom. Once the water started running, AJ gathered up their clothes and was getting ready to head in when his eyes went across the mini bar. For a second he just looked at it, thinking to himself. Then, quietly, he walked over and stole the single serve Jack Daniels that was in there. He drank down two, putting the empties back, before going to join his lover in the shower.