AJ ended up booting everyone out of his room. He could tell that the mass amount of people was making Mattie nervous. She wasn’t used to them yet; they seemed to overwhelm her. With other people there, she didn’t speak out loud, but would only whisper in his ear. Once he emptied the hotel room out, and it was just the two of them, she was like a total different kid.
For some reason, he could see that she had chosen to trust him. Whether it was because he was male, and it had been her mother who hurt her, or she sensed something in him, or that she had been raised being told who her daddy was, he didn’t know. But he was quickly falling head over heels for the little girl, and she already loved him deeply as only a small child can do.
They put on a movie and watched it until it came time for lunch. Then they sat on the living room floor and ate together. AJ thanked God that he had experience babysitting for Ashley’s kids, or he would have been at a loss as to what to do with Mattie. But he did have that experience under his belt, and so he knew about the kinds of meals kids needed to eat, and trips to the bathroom with a child who was half potty trained, and nap times.
He napped with her, and was woke up by her poking at him and saying that she had to pee. Once that was taken care of, they went back out to the main area to find themselves a snack. It continued to amaze AJ throughout the day that this little girl was so much like him. Her facial expressions were like looking into a mirror.
By late afternoon, the both of them were growing bored. So, AJ put the new socks on her, and her old dirty shoes, and the new jacket that Brian had bought. “Let’s go, pretty girl.” He said, taking her hand and setting out from the room. He carried a backpack with him, with a pull up and a spare change of clothes for her. They weren’t going far, but he wanted to be prepared just in case.
Mattie toddled along beside him, looking at everything with wide eyes. Halfway down the hall, a door opened and Brian stepped out. At seeing him, Mattie’s face broke in to a wide grin. She made as if she would go to him, but then she froze in place, her eyes darting up towards AJ in fear. The sight of that broke his heart. He looked over to Brian and saw the same sadness there.
Squatting down, AJ ran his finger across her nose, ignoring the small flinch she gave. “Mattie me girl, you wanna know a secret?” he asked her. She still looked scared, but she nodded at him. “Me and all of your uncles, well, we’re real big on hugs here. We love hugs. So, if you want to, you can go and give Uncle Brian a hug any time you want to, ok?”
Those eyes so similar to his were shining, and her grin covered her whole face. AJ patted her back, and off she went, flying to Brian. He caught her in mid jump and swung her in a circle before giving her a huge hug. As AJ strolled over, he heard her giggling. After they were done hugging, Brian easily settled her on his hip and turned his smile to AJ.
In that instant, AJ felt his heart throb. There Brian stood, holding AJ’s child on his hip, and smiling to welcome him over. The scene was so, homey. It felt right. AJ actually felt tears try to prick his eyes at the thought of what could be. He thanked God for his sunglasses as he blinked the tears away. Something must have shown on his face, though, because Brian was looking at him curiously. He didn’t mention it, though. “Hey, J. Where are you two off to?”
“Thought we’d go hit the gift shop, maybe stop at the restaurant and get something to eat. We’re both a little bored up there.” He winked at Mattie, making her giggle. “Want to join us?” AJ offered spontaneously. To his surprise, Brian’s face lit up. “Yeah!” he said.
So the three of them set off downstairs, Mattie perfectly content on Brian’s hip. Her little hands fisted in his shirt, and her legs swung cheerfully back and forth. As they waited for the elevator, AJ pinched her nose between his knuckles. “Traitor.” He teased.
“What can I say, J? I’m just irresistible to chicks.” Brian joked back. His blue eyes were twinkling, and there was a beautiful smile on his face that set AJ’s heart to fluttering. He turned to the elevator, hoping to cover up his reaction to Brian’s light teasing. Just then the doors opened, saving him from further comment.
Once they were inside, Brian took hold of Mattie’s hand, swaying his hips to the elevator music. “So where are we going to first this lovely afternoon?” he asked AJ as he twirled in a circle, making the small girl laugh.
AJ leaned against the wall, watching them as they danced. “Gift shop.”
“Ah, present time, is it?”
This time AJ couldn’t stop the smile that curved his lips. “A man’s entitled “
The doors dinged open and the three stepped out into the hotel lobby. “But of course,” Brian agreed with him. “You do realize that she will become the single most spoiled little girl, don’t you? With you for a daddy, and four Uncles who already think she’s cute as a button, well, she’ll be showered in love and gifts.”
“Good. After the childhood I think she’s had so far, she deserves the spoiling.” AJ’s voice was pitched low, but Brian heard the pain in it. He had to resist taking hold of AJ’s hand and squeezing it in comfort. That wouldn’t look right to the general public around them. Plus, AJ wasn’t that comfortable with his own weaknesses to begin with. He had a hard time letting anyone see that he had any weakness even in privet. To acknowledge it in public, well, that was something AJ would never do.
Their afternoon was more fun than they had thought it would be. In the gift shop they looked around for almost an hour, eventually buying a few sippy cups, some random snacks, and a stuff monkey that Mattie kept clutched tight in her arms the rest of the afternoon. As they ate their dinner, AJ and Brian chuckled with one another as they watched Mattie whisper in the monkey’s ear.
“He’s such a handsome monkey.” AJ said to her on their way back up from dinner. He was carrying her in his arms, a leg on each side and her head pillowed on his shoulder. The afternoon had tuckered her out, obviously. “Do you know what his name is?”
She mumbled next to his ear, and AJ couldn’t resist a chuckle. “That’s his name? Are you sure?” he exclaimed. She nodded sleepily. AJ looked over to Brian, then glanced back down at her tired face. With eyes half closed, she was watching him and smiling. “That’s really his name? But that’s a silly name for a monkey! What about Bob, or George?”
Shaking her head no, she said “No, Papa. El’phant.”
This time Brian heard her and he chuckled with AJ. “Well, Elephant it is then.” AJ said, kissing her forehead. Satisfied, Mattie snuggled closer to him and her monkey. By the time they reached AJ’s door, she was sound asleep.
“I better let you go tuck her in.” Brian whispered, smiling at him. “Want me to just set these bags inside the door?”
“Actually…” here AJ hesitated, unsure. To spend so much time with Brian only made him want and wish all the more for something he would never have. Yet, not being around him was just as hard. It was a lose, lose situation. With a mental sigh, he gave up the fight for the moment. “Would you mind coming in for a bit? I, uh, I gotta get her down first, but…well I haven’t heard from the cops yet, and…” he was fumbling, and embarrassed because of it.
With a smile that instantly set AJ at ease, Brian said “Not a problem, J. Let’s get on in here and settle her down, then you and I can talk for a while.”
It was nice to have someone who understood you well enough to be able to read between your stutters. Appreciating that, AJ went in the hotel room and started to get the little girl ready for bed. He managed to wake her up just enough to go to the bathroom, get a pull up another of his shirts on, and brush her teeth. But she was back asleep before he’d even finished carrying her to the bed.
With infinite gentleness he lay her down in the center of the bed, tucking Elephant the monkey underneath one arm. He chuckled as he pulled the blanket over her. Who but a child would think to name a stuffed monkey, Elephant. Bending down, he kissed her forehead nad turned to leave. One small hand came out, taking hold of his. He stopped and turned around, sitting back on the bed. “What is it, honey?” he asked, looking at her half open eyes.
“Sing.” She whispered.
Smiling, AJ sang her the sandman song just like he had the night before. When he was done, she was asleep again, a smile on her face. He tip toed his way out of the room.
When he got back in the main room, and had the bedroom door most of the way shut, he turned to look for Brian. His friend was on the phone, talking with someone. “Yes, he’s here. Just a sec.” Brian turned, holding the phone out to AJ. “It’s Kevin.” He said softly.
A feeling of dread built in AJ’s stomach, though he couldn’t explain why. He stepped forward and took the phone in one shaking hand, holding it to his ear. “Hello?” he asked.
“Age? It’s Kev. Our lawyers just contacted me.”
AJ couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He stared at Brian, one hand reaching instinctively out. To his surprise and gratitude, Brian took his hand without questions and held on tight as Kevin said the words that confirmed everything. “Test results just came in. She’s yours, J. Congratulations, you’re a daddy.”
Even though he had been positive before, something about hearing that it was official made everything feel that much more real to him. “Is…is there anything I have to do?”
“Nope, J. Just enjoy that child, she’s a beauty, and she’s all yours.”
Tears of joy slid down AJ’s face.