Loud voices were what woke him up. At first he just lay there, blinking at the ceiling as his brain tried to wake up. The voices registered first. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was Kevin shouting the house down, and he thought he heard Nick and Howie in there somewhere. Then there was another voice, so calm compared to the others. AJ smiled when he realized that it was Brian, keeping the peace as always.
The second thing to register was the trembling child beside him. Mattie was still snuggled up against his side, but she was awake now, and her eyes were wide with terror. AJ realized that the voice must have woken her up too. One look at the little girls face showed him a bone deep terror that no child should have. What had been done to her that she had learned to fear raised voices by age three?
“Morning, Mattie girl.” He whispered, rolling to his side and cradling her in the crook of his body. “Did you sleep good?”
She bit her lip as she looked up at him, and then she nodded. Her eyes kept darting to the door that led back to the main living area. AJ tried to think of ways to set her at ease. “Don’t you worry bout them, sugar plum.” He said, flicking a finger down her nose. That earned him a small smile. “Hey!” he said, grinning. “What say you we go potty, then get us some breakfast? Do you like pancakes?”
Mattie’s smile grew wide and she bobbed her head. With absolute trust she climbed out of bed with him, and held his hand into the master bath. Together they took care of their morning needs. When they were done brushing their teeth, AJ gave her another grin. “Race you to the bed.” He called, then he took off at a slow jog, racing to the bed. Mattie followed slowly behind, her eyes going wide when AJ jumped up onto the bed and landed with a bounce. “You’re turn!” he called out, holding his arms out to her. “Jump!”
With surprise and delight on her face, Mattie jumped as high as her little legs would let her. AJ caught her under her arms and tossed her up into the air, catching her when she landed on the bed.
Out in the main room the arguing was continuing. But AJ blocked it all out, and paid total attention to the sweet little girl with him. When they rested from their play, he heard her little stomach growl.
He snagged the phone off the nightstand, and called down to room service. “Hey there, its room 451. Yep. Ok, I was wondering if I could get some, uh, let’s see. Some orange juice. Two; one big, one little. An uh, how about pancakes, Mattie darling?” he asked her. She smiled, bobbing her head. “Blueberry?” She nodded even more vigorously. “Ok, make those two orders of blueberry pancakes, with some sausage. Oh, and with the guys out there, I guess I should get something else. You got any like, fruit platters? You do? Sweet. One of those too, please. Ok, ok, thanks!”
AJ laid back down, propping his head up on his hand. He smiled at Mattie, and the smile she gave him in return warmed his heart. Even without the test results, he knew the truth. Had known since that first moment he’d actually looked at her face. There was no denying this child was his. He was a father, a daddy, whether he liked it or not.
“Do you know who I am, Mattie my love?” he asked her, lightly brushing her hair with his hand. She smiled at him. Leaning in close, she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Papa.”
Hearing her say that to him filled AJ’s heart in a way he’d never known before. “That’s right, honey. I’m your papa. Your mommy wants you to stay with me now, ok? You wanna stay here, with me?”
Still close to him, Mattie looked at him with wide eyes. “No mommy more?” she asked, stumbling over her words. AJ brought one of his hands up to cup the side of her face. “No mommy more.” He whispered. Joy lit her little face.
A knock sounded from the main room, on the front door, and AJ looked over that direction. Oh! The food must be there. “You ready to go eat, luv?” he asked. She nodded at him, and the two sat up. Mattie climbed out of the blankets, finding that groove right under his arm that kids seem to fit so perfectly in.
AJ just shrugged and scooped her up like a sack of flour, making the girl laugh at him. He carried her like that to the bedroom door, and kept her that way as he opened it and stepped into the main living area.
Over by the front door, Brian was just tipping the gentleman from room service. When he saw the pair of them, he shot them both a grin, one that AJ returned. Brian had done just what he had said he would. He’d kept everyone out so that they could get some sleep. Well, as far out as possible. The three other band members were in the living area of the suite, watching in shock as AJ carried Mattie to the bar. He flipped her up into his arms, where she grinned at him. Her hair was tousled, her face still had that sleepy look, she was still wearing one of his shirts and a fresh pull up, and she had never looked more like her daddy.
Someone started to speak behind them. AJ ignored it. He could hear Brian step up and hush them, and he appreciated it. That allowed him to get her breakfast out and set it up. He cut the pieces small for her, and out of habit, didn’t put any syrup on hers. Ashley was a stickler for what her kids ate, and his experience with kids came from babysitting for hers. There was a difference, though, between Uncle AJ and papa.
As they started to eat their breakfast, Kevin stepped into the kitchen area. He gave AJ a one over, as if trying to assess what kind of mood he was in. The thought was almost enough to make AJ chuckle. He knew he probably looked like crap. His own hair was messy, sticking this way and that, and his jeans were completely wrinkled from sleeping in them all night. Not that he cared.
“I got you guys some fruit to snack on.” AJ said, gesturing at the rest of the room service tray with his fork. “Go ahead an dig in. Bet y’all were here bout the same time the sun was.”
No one but Brian moved to the fruit platter. But Brian took the lid off and happily dug in. After popping his mouth full of grapes, he caught Mattie staring at him, and he winked. Her smile was sweet as she tucked back into her food.
“AJ, we need you to tell us what’s going on. I got a call from our lawyers this morning, saying that you spoke with police last night about a child. Why didn’t you come get us?”
With a yawn, AJ hopped off his stool and went to the cupboard. He brought out two mugs, filling one with the juice left from the bottle. He set that in front of Mattie with a grin, then turned to take his cup to the coffee pot. “Honestly, Kev, I was beat last night. I knew I’d see you guys today, an I figured that was soon enough.” He poured his coffee, adding just a dollop of cream an sugar. Then he took the cup and moved to sit back by Mattie again. As he sat down, he leaned and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle and smile at him.
“But who is she, Age?” Kevin demanded, trying to keep his voice nice. He didn’t want to upset the girl.
“She’s my daughter.” AJ dropped the bombshell without a care. He stuffed another bite of pancake in his mouth, then gestured at the fruit platter again with his fork. “Bri, hand me some of those strawberries, would you? Oh, and the grapes an watermelon too.”
“Sure, J.” After grabbing a paper towel, Brian put some fruit on it. He reached over, putting it on the bar between the two. As he did, he offered AJ a grin and a wink.
No one else in the room was speaking. It was obvious that AJ’s words had stunned them all. He paid no attention. Instead, he picked up a strawberry and held it out to Mattie, who had devoured her pancake already. “You ever have a strawberry, Mattie my love?” he asked her. She bit her lip and shook her head no. “Well, try this. I promise it’s delicious.” She looked nervous, but she didn’t hesitate to lean in and bite off the end of it. Almost instantly her face lit up, and she was smiling as she chewed.
“Excuse me? Did I hear you right?” Howie asked. He stepped forward, looking from Mattie to AJ. “Your daughter? Since when do you have a daughter?”
“I dunno. What’s her certificate say, B Rok?”
Brian pulled the paper out of the bag and looked at it. He snorted in disgust. “She was wrong. Her birthday’s April 2nd.”
“Go figure.” AJ rolled his eyes. He turned back to Howie. “So, I’ve had a daughter for three and a half years. But, if you mean how long have I known, well, that’s easier. Since last night when she was dropped off at the door with a bag and a letter.”
“What?” Nick exclaimed. With a small squeak, Mattie dropped her fork and stared wide eyed at the counter top. After shooting Nick a glare, AJ leaned in close, one hand going to rub her back. “It’s ok, Mattie girl. Remember, I told you, you don’t have to worry about them.” He whispered to her. “They won’t hurt you, I promise. Ok?”
She tipped her head toward him, and he had to lean in close to hear her whisper. When she was done, he nodded. “Papa will keep you safe, love.” Again she leaned in, this time bringing her hand up to whisper in AJ’s ear. He grinned as he pulled back from her. With his fork, he pointed to Nick. “That’s your Uncle Nick over there. Don’t worry; he can be lots of fun. That’s Uncle Howie, and that’s Uncle Kevin, and over there is Uncle Brian. You saw him, remember?” She nodded and relaxed just a little. Seeing someone else in the crowd that she recognized, even if she had only seen him a few minutes the night before, helped relax her. AJ smiled. Brian had that effect on him too.
Seeing that her food was gone, AJ looked over at Brian. ‘Would you take her? Get her dressed?’ he mouthed at him. Brian nodded. Turning to Mattie, AJ scooped her up from the chair to wrap her in a quick hug. “You go with Uncle Brian and get dressed, ok, sugarplum? Papa will be right here, I promise.”
She went easily in Brian’s arms, and within a few steps he had her giggling. After Brian had snagged one of the bags he’d brought yesterday, and got her into the bedroom door, AJ turned back to the others. He didn’t speak until he heard the door click, and even then, he kept his voice hitched low. “Next time you guys have questions, wait until she’s not sitting right there. Are we clear?”
When they nodded at him, he hopped down off the stool. He grabbed his coffee cup and headed to the patio for his morning cigarette. Once he was outside and had it lit, and the other three were with him, he set about explaining the previous night to them. By the time he was done they were all in shock.
Kevin was the first to recover. “We’ll contact our lawyers about what needs to be done. You’ll need to figure out what you want to do about the last show. It’s in three days.”
Nodding, AJ rubbed at his arms, chafing the skin to warm it. His cigarette dangled from his mouth. “I know I gotta do the last show. There’s not really much choice on that, I have an obligation to do my job.” He said, blowing smoke out. “Maybe Marcus will double as a babysitter for the night. I want someone I can trust. After that, I guess we’ll just have to see. For now, all I can do is get to know her. I’ve missed the past three years; I don’t want to miss any more.”
Just as he was moving to flick the ashes on his cigarette, he saw Brian and Mattie come out of the bedroom. AJ ground his cigarette out in the ashtray and managed to get to the door at the same time that Mattie did. She jumped right into his arms, curling against him. Brian had dressed her in jeans and a long sleeved red shirt. AJ was glad to see that he’d guessed right on her sizing. Her curls were all combed back, and held with a ribbon at the back of her neck.
“Well who’s this beautiful little girl in my room?” He said teasingly as he walked inside, tipping her back enough to get a good look at her. She giggled, her cheeks flushed as if she’d been laughing. Being in with Brian, she most likely had. Mattie leaned close and whispered her name to him. As AJ sat on the couch, he sat her on his lap. “Mattie, you say? Hey, I knew a girl with that name. Pretty girl she was, too. She had curly dark hair, kind of like yours.” He picked up one of her curls and let it drop. “She had pretty brown eyes like yours too.”
Mattie giggled and patted her chest with her hands. Pretending shock, AJ brought his head down an looked at her. “Why, Mattie, is it really you? Imagine that! Boy, you sure had me fooled you silly girl.”
The little girl gave another grin as she snuggled down against him. AJ put an arm around her, feeling her flinch as he hit a bruise. He loosened his grip, adjusting it until they were both comfortable. His eyes were closed and part of his heart was breaking. God, oh God. What was he going to do? What the fucking hell was he going to do?