Sweet God it felt good to be home. AJ lay in his own bed, the sunlight streaming in past the curtains around his bed. He was content to stay where he was, warm and comfortable, snuggled down in the blankets. What time it was he had no idea. Not that he really cared, either. There was nothing on his agenda. Plus, it felt like it was freezing and his bed was so warm.
Their flight out had been first thing in the morning on the day after their last show. When they’d arrived he’d been feeling much better than the night before, but not perfect, so he and Brian had enjoyed a nice, quiet day at home. They’d cooked for one another, watched movies, and made slow, passionate love on the living room floor, and in their bed, and the shower. It had been a perfect first day home.
But over the next week he’d ended up lying around in bed most of the time, not feeling well. He and Brian had talked about it and agreed he probably had Nick’s cold. If it didn’t go away by the end of the week they were going to take him in.
A soft probing with his hand told AJ that he was alone in bed. Vaguely he remembered his wristwatch beeping earlier and Brian handing him his pills and water to take them with. After that he’d rolled over and gone back to sleep. God bless Brian for understanding that he was tired. He’d been tired for so long it seemed like he’d forgotten what it was like to feel rested.
There was always a sense of fatigue there, but he’d almost learned to live with that now. Sad when you grow accustomed to being tired. But, given time, a body could adjust to anything.
His thoughts were interrupted when a cough started to tickle at his throat. He tried to hold it in but it pushed free, sucking the air right out of him. He rolled over to his side and tried to ease the pain in his chest as he coughed and coughed.
A pair of hands was suddenly on him, sitting him up. One arm banded across his chest, holding his shoulder, while the other rubbed soothingly at his back. Even if he hadn’t known that there was no one else in the house he still would have recognized Brian’s gentle touch.
When the coughing fit passed and Brian’s grip eased, AJ let himself lie back down, his head resting in Brian’s lap. That had taken almost all of his air.
“I don’t like the sound of that, Alex.” Brian spoke softly, one hand coming up to stroke over AJ’s hair. It felt so good that AJ sighed and snuggled in closer. He could feel another cough tickling at his throat and was working to keep it from coming out. The hand on his hair moved, smoothing it back from his forehead before going back to playing with his hair. “You’re warm. I think you may have a fever.”
A fever? “I’m cold.” He mumbled. In response, Brian brought the blankets up over him. It felt absolutely wonderful. Where had his peaceful feeling gone? It had been there when he’d first woken up but was long gone now.
“You were coughing in your sleep last night. A little bit of yesterday too.”
Had he been? He didn’t remember it. It hadn’t woken him up at all, at least. Well fuck, he didn’t want to be sick. He knew what Brian was going to say even before it came out of his mouth. “I think we need to take you in. These colds are dangerous for you.” Yep, he’d been right. He had known that was what Brian would suggest. Opening his mouth AJ prepared to protest, but another bout of coughing took him and he had to roll away from Brian to hold on to his chest. Jesus Christ, that hurt! Like coughing up razor blades or something.
When it finally passed he was almost gasping for air. That was when he admitted to himself that Brian was probably right. He needed to get in. One of the most serious things that they had to watch for was pneumonia. With the way his air was rattling in and out of his chest and he couldn’t quite seem to catch his breath, he was terrified that that was what he had.
Brian’s hands were back on him again, sitting him up gently in bed. All of AJ’s aches sprang to life at just those simple movements. But Brian was gentle as he moved him, helping him get his legs off the edge of the bed. AJ opened his eyes and looked at his lover’s face, seeing the worry that tightened his eyes. Despite that worry Brian was moving efficiently. He put socks on AJ’s feet before helping him get them into a pair of pants. Then his hands were on AJ’s elbows, helping him to stand so he could pull the pants up.
It felt ridiculous to have someone dressing him. “I feel…like a….kid.” AJ managed to wheeze at him.
“Well you are younger than me.” Brian teased as he pulled the zipper up and buttoned the jeans. Then he was sitting AJ back down. He had one of his shirts for AJ to wear which would be looser and easier to put on. After he slid it over AJ’s head he made as if to help him get his arms in, but AJ swatted at his hands. “I can…do that much….at least.” He insisted. It took more effort than he would have liked but he managed to move without aching too much and get his arms into the sleeves.
Just as he made to stand up another coughing fit hit and he had to sit back down and bend at the waist as it tore out of his lungs. Once it passed Brian gave him no chance to try again. He simply slid an arm behind AJ’s back, one under his legs, and picked him up marriage style. AJ instinctively wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck to brace himself. “Now I really….feel like a kid.”
“You don’t sound like you have enough air to make it down the stairs, love. Let me help you for a little while. Stop trying to be so tough, ok? I should never have let you convince me you could stay home for so long. We should have taken you in sooner.”
Their movements were making AJ’s head spin so he simply closed his eyes and rested his head on Brian’s shoulder. He had utter faith that Brian would stop him from running in to things and he knew he would never drop him. “Don’t beat yourself up.” He whispered. It was easier to talk that way. “You didn’t know I’d get so damn sick. We’re both still learning, Bri.”
“At least you aren’t fighting me or trying to hide it.”
“Is there any point? You live with me. Hell, you know me better than I do.” AJ joked sarcastically. The air suddenly got colder and AJ shivered, snuggling in closer. Brian swore lightly as he shut the door. “Just a sec, baby. I’ll get you in the car and get you warm. Just give me a sec. I’m sorry.”
A minute later AJ felt Brian shift his weight and heard the car door open. Then his lover was carefully setting him in the seat. He reached over AJ and put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on, fiddling with the dials to get the heater going. Once it was blasting he kissed AJ’s forehead. “Let me get a coat for you and our bag and I’ll be right back. Just stay here and get warm.”
“Mm. Can do, captain.” The door shut and AJ curled up in his seat, bringing his arms and his knees against his chest to keep his heat. True to his word Brian was back quickly. He climbed in the driver’s seat and, once his door was shut and he’d tossed their backpack in the backseat, reached over and helped bundle AJ into a warm jacket. He also draped a fleece blanket over his legs, which AJ gratefully snuggled into.
The car started to back out of the driveway. AJ paid no attention to it. He knew where they were going, what was the point of watching the road? Each second took them closer to the hospital. “I really hate hospitals.” He grumbled, just on principal. He knew that Brian knew it already, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t complain about it.
“I know, baby.” Brian answered him softly. He reached a hand over and rested it on top of the blanket on AJ’s legs. It was a sign of how worried he was that he didn’t sit and pick on him for whining. That told AJ that Brian was more worried than he wanted to admit to.
Even feeling like crap he couldn’t stand the thought of Brian worrying about him. He opened his eyes to watch Brian’s face. “It’ll be ok, Bri. They’ll get me right again.”
Brian flashed him a smile that wasn’t quite its usual strength. “Yeah, they will. It’s just, this is the first time you’ve gotten sick since you, well, got sick.” There he flashed a grin that was more like his usual self. “I’m entitled to worry. It’s my right as your boyfriend. Someone in the relationship has to. Sometimes you’re too fearless for your own good.”
“I am not!” AJ exclaimed. Instantly he started to cough, clutching the blanket to his chest as he dropped his feet to the floor and bent forward. It actually brought tears to his eyes with the strength of it. He felt the car accelerate and thought that maybe that was a good idea. When the coughing passed he stayed with his forehead against the dash. Worry was starting to fill him. He’d never felt this sick before.
It seemed like in no time they were at the hospital and Brian was parking the car. He got out, grabbing their bag, and came around to AJ’s door before he could even get it open. AJ climbed out on shaky feet, the cold December air actually taking his breath away. In a swift move Brian had the blanket up and around him and had wrapped an arm around his waist. He couldn’t carry him around here, not that AJ would have let him, but he did help him walk into the ER.
AJ let Brian deposit him in a chair so that he could deal with the front desk. For once he didn’t mind someone taking over for him. Right then he doubted that he would have been able to tell the nurses anything. In no time at all Brian was back, helping him back on his feet. “Come on, baby, let’s get you up on the bed. They’re going to wheel you back right now, ok? Let me help you hop on up. You’re a little short to just sit down on the bed.”
“That’s the pot calling…the kettle black.” AJ wheezed out. Holy crap it was getting harder to talk again.
They got him onto the bed and suddenly Brian was stepping away and the nurses were preparing to wheel him through the door. AJ looked over and realized that Brian wasn’t beside him anymore. He didn’t think, just put his hand out and grabbed the doorframe as they were going to take him through. “Wait!”
“Is everything ok?” One of the orderlies asked him anxiously, concerned that something serious was going on.
AJ looked back over his shoulder at Brian, who was stepping close to the bed looking worried. “Bri…aren’t you….coming back?” he asked.
Everything in Brian’s eyes both softened inside and tightened around the edges. “I can’t, baby. Only family can go back right now.”
“But…you are…my family.”
That softness in Brian’s eyes grew, showing all the love he felt for him. “I’ll come back when they let me. They said its policy, Alex. They can’t let me come back right yet.”
“I need…you there.” He wheezed. Another cough was threatening to come. “They’re…gonna poke…me with needles.”
“Sir, we need to get you back so we can get you on oxygen. You shouldn’t be talking.” The male orderly told him, trying to take his hand from the door. AJ gripped it tighter in honest panic. Since his initial tests that had told him he was positive, he had not been at a doctor appointment without Brian there to hold his hand as they drew blood. The medical staff he usually saw knew his fear of needles.
Anguish lit Brian’s gaze. “I know, Alex. I’m sorry. I’ll be back as soon as they let me!”
He wanted to hang on to the door but another cough started and he had to curl in on himself. The orderlies took advantage of that and whisked him through the door, leaving Brian behind. Why on earth couldn’t he come back? What was wrong with having Brian by his side? It wasn’t like he was going to make him sicker. Anything Brian had AJ would already have. It made no sense and frustrated the hell out of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian sat in a chair in the waiting room, staring out the window at the rain that had started to come down. California typically rained all winter long. At least there wasn’t snow. If there had been snow AJ would have been freezing. The man barely had enough meat on him to keep warm inside a house,, let alone out in the cold.
He leaned his head against the window pane and sighed a little. It wasn’t working. Nothing was distracting him from the thought that AJ was back in that little room coughing and having problems breathing. Sitting here waiting was hell. It was so stupid that they wouldn’t let him go back with AJ. There was no one else! Denise had cut him out of her life without a backward glance.
The doors to the waiting room opened and in rushed Nick and Howie. Kevin was too far way to join them. He was out in Kentucky with family. Once he had settled down to wait, Brian had called everyone to let them know what was going on.
“How is he?” Howie demanded before he even made it all the way over to Brian.
Frustrated, Brian shrugged. “I don’t know. They said they’d come get me when he was settled in a room, but no one’s come to say anything and it’s been like, an hour already.”
As if his words had summoned her, Dr. Shannon stepped into the waiting room. She and Brian saw one another instantly. Raising a hand she gestured him to the door. Brian didn’t even bother saying anything to his friends, he just hopped up and rushed on over. “Is he ok?” he asked quickly.
Dr. Shannon gave him a gentle smile. “I did a physical on him and I can say that he shows all the signs of pneumonia. We’ve got him on oxygen so it’s a little easier for him to talk now. I think the nurses are regretting that. Since he’s been able to talk he’s been raising hell about getting you back there.”
Blush filled Brian’s cheeks even as he smiled. “You know how he is with needles. If he’s gotta do it, he hates doing it alone.”
“Which is why I came to get you. He’s settled in his room now, so all of you can come back so long as your friends wear masks if they’re sick. But we need to get the IV in and draw some blood to test a few things and I doubt he’d let us near him right now without you there. He’s a little too agitated.”
Agitated was probably a mild word. He knew how AJ could be when it came to someone coming at him with any kind of needle. Brian gestured behind him to his friends and, when they had joined him, set off down the hall with Dr. Shannon.
“How long has he been feeling off?” She asked him as she led them down the hall.
Brian bit his lip as he thought about it. “He felt kind of crappy at the end of tour, but we thought that was just the meds and the touring. I’d wondered if he’d caught Nick’s flu bug. But when we got home is when he really stopped feeling well. So, about a week I guess? Just achy, tired, that kind of thing. But last night he was coughing in his sleep and he woke up coughing this afternoon.”
She nodded and turned down another hall. “Sounds like we caught it at the start of it getting bad, then. If he gets sick for a period of time again I want him to call me. Being overly cautious is better than not with problems like his. I’ll know more once we get the blood.”
Stopping at a door, Dr. Shannon opened it and stepped inside. “Look what I brought!” she called out in a sing song voice.
AJ was lying on the hospital bed looking both irritated and slightly afraid. But when his eyes lifted and he saw Brian everything on his face cleared. “Brian!” he called out through the oxygen mask.
“I hear you’re raising hell in here.” Brian teased as he stepped over to AJ’s bedside. In a habitual gesture he brought his hand up and brushed AJ’s hair back. “Not letting them do their job. Scared of a little bitty needle. My tattooed freak.”
“Tattoos are different.” AJ insisted, falling into their old teasing. “It’s not the same at all. They’re in a gun then, I don’t see them going inside my skin.”
“Well give them your arm like a good little boy and let them take your blood and put your IV in, ok? For me?”
AJ’s eyebrows drew down in a scowl. “Do I have to?”
“Yep.” Brian said smugly. “I’m the boss and I say so.”
“The boss? Shit, wait till I’m feeling better I’ll show you who the boss is.”
Brian smiled, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Dr. Shannon had motioned the orderly forward to draw his blood and another to do the IV. She had seen AJ once every three months since that first one-month checkup and was well used to how to get things like blood samples from him. She took advantage of his being distracted.
“Ah, but for now you’re not feeling well, and you can’t stop me from taking full advantage of being bossy.” Brian told him with a huge grin.
Howie and Nick had moved over to stand with them, the two smiling at their friends. “He’s got you there, Age.” Nick teased him.
Opening his mouth to protest, AJ suddenly cut off when he felt the needles enter his skin. “Fuck!” he swore loudly even as his skin lost some color. “I feel like a pincushion.” Despite all the teasing he kept his gaze away from what they were doing to his skin. It was bad enough to feel it. If he had to watch he would probably be sick.
Brian bent down and kissed his forehead. “You are a pincushion. But you’re my color pincushion.”
“Bri?”
“Yeah?”
“Go to hell.”
Laughter filled the hospital room. Brian watched as the blood samples were taken out of the room and the IV was hooked to its machine. He couldn’t help but think that, under all this teasing, his baby was here in the hospital with pneumonia. Something that was terribly dangerous to someone with HIV. He was reminded even more when AJ started to cough again. Dr. Shannon stepped forward, moving the mask off his face and holding a small hand towel up for him to cough in to.
When he was done and was settled back against the bed, sweating and shivering all at once, she set about putting his antibiotic into the IV. “I’ll be back in as soon as I get the results from your lab work, ok? In the meantime you just relax. Don’t exhaust him too much, guys. Sleep is what he needs.” With that warning she left the room.