Once they reached the hospital they set AJ up in the emergency room to wait for his stitches to come and be put in. It surprised Brian to see how long they were willing to let him wait before they stitched him up. No one seemed really concerned about having to wait. That is, until they both saw Mikayla come walking back in scrubs. Her grin was a mile wide as she donned a pair of gloves. “Well, fancy this.” She said as she wheeled a cart over by them. “Of all the hospitals in all the city they just happen to bring you to mine! Doc said I could be the one to sew you up and everything. Isn’t that just fantastic?”
AJ pretended to be horrified. “Oh, God, someone help me! Don’t let her touch me!” he cried out mockingly.
Even as she stepped inside, Mikayla pulled the curtain shut around them to shelter them. They’d been given the corner of the room so that AJ and Brian would have less chance of being mobbed. Mikayla just made it easier by closing the curtain. Her smile growing even more evil, she looked down at her cart and pretended to think. “Hm, now which one’s the local again? Oh, who needs it, right? Strapping man like you don’t need no numbing stuff, aint that right?” Her accent bumped up to that fake country bumpkin sound that had Brian laughing. This was the perfect solution for AJ getting stitches. If it was Mikayla doing it she would keep him at ease during the whole procedure so he wouldn’t stress as hard.
As the two bantered back and forth, Brian got more comfortable in the chair by AJ’s bed. Since there was no reason to hide now the two of them were holding hands openly. It made the both of them smile. Not for one single second did Brian regret telling everyone about them. He was ecstatic at not having to hide from anyone anymore.
Still smiling as the two bickered and Mikayla set to work opening the bandage and cleaning his leg, Brian leaned back and pulled out his cellphone. Now would be the perfect time to call Kevin and give him the heads up. He dialed the familiar number and hit send. It only took a few rings for his cousin to pick up. “Hey, Bri, how’s it going?”
“Oh, you know, the usual.” Brian said with a small smirk. “We’re at the hospital right now so Mikayla can stitch AJ’s leg shut. Nerd tore it open on a mall kiosk running from fans. You know, the usual for our graceful friend.”
He deliberately made his voice teasing for all parties. It got AJ to turn and stick his tongue out at him and it took away the stress that might have come from Kevin at hearing about them being at the hospital. Indeed, his cousin started to laugh in his ear. “Oh God, only Age. For someone who can dance so damn well, he can’t seem to walk across a flat surface without tripping himself up.”
“I know, right? I’m constantly amused by that.”
“Who isn’t?” Kevin laughed. Then his voice turned a little serious. “Everything’s ok, though? Right?”
AJ’s hand suddenly clamped down on Brian’s and he watched as his lover leaned back against his bed and closed his eyes. Glancing down at AJ’s leg, Brian saw why. Mikayla had started to stitch him. Soothingly Brian brought AJ’s hand up and kissed his knuckles briefly before he answered Kevin while rubbing his cheek against his and AJ’s joined hands. “Well cos, here’s the thing. We were being chased by fans and were trying to make a run for it when some fans knocked the stupid kiosk over and AJ stuck his leg out there to get cut for attention….”
“I did not!” AJ argued. He turned to give Brian a sharp glare. “You’re such an ass.”
But Brian grinned. He had succeeded in distracting AJ away from the stitches that Mikayla was putting in. All in all the cut was a short one, only needing just a simple three stitches. It had just been deep.
“Anyways,” Brian continued, tipping a wink at his boyfriend. “We got a little surrounded and mall security had to keep fans back from us. Kay put pressure on the cut when we saw it and someone called for the mall medic to come take a look. But he didn’t have gloves, the unsanitary freak, and he had an open wound on his finger. Now, my opinion, the man’s not worth his salt as a medic if he didn’t even have any stupid gloves and was going to treat a bleeding person when he had an open wound on his finger. But, stupid people are everywhere. Still, he didn’t understand why Kay wouldn’t let him touch AJ’s leg and was basically trying to do it anyways, and AJ had to tell him why he couldn’t.”
“Oh my God.” In Kevin’s murmur was the sound of understanding. He knew where this was going.
“Exactly.” Brian said with a sigh. “And of course, that’s when everyone had to be momentarily silent. So, everyone knows now. By the time the ambulance and Marcus got there, reporters were already there. So Age gave them the basic story of what happened, cause they would’ve put their own spin on it. Man, some were asking if it was true he jumped from the upper to the lower floor and if that was how he got hurt.”
Despite the situation, that made Kevin laugh. “Bless the press for being retards.” He teased.
Brian smiled at AJ as Mikayla cut the thread from her final stitch. She set about cleansing it and wrapping it back up.
“Yeah, I know Kev. But, they asked him about what he said and there was no need to lie, so AJ answered truthfully. We thought we should give you the heads up about this all and what’s going to hit the fan for now. Plus, you deal best with management, and we know this will be a minefield with them.”
“No kidding.” Kevin sighed gustily. “Ok, let me go give them a call and start this ball rolling. I’ll get back to you guys as quickly as possible, and I’ll call a Backstreet meeting down there. We’ll get everyone together for a while, stay at the house we have there, and we’ll present a united front to the press. It’ll suck for a while, you two but hang in there, ok?”
“Sure thing.” He answered. With another smile for his lover, Brian added on, almost absently “Oh yeah, and they know AJ and I are together now too. Just FYI. Well, we’ll talk to you later!”
Even as Kevin started to exclaim something in his ear, Brian ended the call and shut his phone off. When he saw that Mikayla and AJ were both giving him funny looks, he just gave them his goofiest grin. “Yes?” he drawled out.
AJ shook his head even as he started to smile. “You know you’re a goofball, right?”
“You love my goofiness.” Brian said cheerfully. “Or is it my body? I never remember which one.”
The look that came into AJ’s eyes had Brian shivering a little. He loved it when AJ looked at him like that; like he was the most desirable person in the entire world. “Oh trust me, I love your body. But your goofiness is fun too.”
“I see. I understand now.” Kicking back and crossing his ankle over his knee, Brian pretended to sigh. “You use me for my body and my humor. I know my place now. No, no.” He added on as AJ started to speak. “I understand. If this is my lot in life, so be it.” Suddenly his fake serious face disappeared and he gave AJ a devilish grin. “I think I can handle it.”
Mikayla let out her tinkling laugh as she finished putting away her equipment and gathering up those that needed sterilizing. “You two are too much.” She told them. Mirth danced in her eyes. “I have no idea how you’ve managed to keep your relationship secret for so long. I swear you guys practically throw off sparks.”
Rising, Brian stood by AJ’s bed, still holding his hand. “Not to mention that this guy here just gives off that gay vibe. I don’t know how on one has seen it!” He exclaimed.
AJ’s mouth dropped open for a moment as he stared at Brian. Then his eyebrows drew down and he glared. “Me? Look at you! Mr. I-have-to-iron-all-my-clothes. Always looked neat and fashionable. Hell, you even go out in public wearing pink!”
“It’s not pink. It’s salmon.” Brian insisted seriously. It made his heart float a little to watch the love and humor in AJ’s face. “That’s how a straight man gets away with wearing that color.”
“The fact that you know the difference between pink and salmon colored things is not helping your case, Bri my boy.”
Well, AJ had him there. “At least I don’t paint my fingernails like some people I know. Or freak out if they get chipped.” He shot back. By now Mikayla was holding her stomach as she laughed at them, her face turning red.
“Hey!” AJ said sulkily. “It’s considered Goth to paint a dudes nails black. And if I’m going to paint them I might as well take care of them! It looks tacky to have them chipped.”
Another deeper laugh started up only moments before the curtains around them opened and Marcus stepped inside. His face was lit up with a wide grin. Well used to the two of them and the way they bickered, he didn’t even miss a step as he gave them both a shake of his head. “Some things never change.” He said. With one hand he tossed a pair of jeans to AJ. “Brought you some clean pants to put on since you tore yours all up with your stunt.”
With a grumble AJ swung his legs off of the bed. He winced slightly as he put pressure on his sore leg, but it stayed steady under him. He toed his shoes off and moved to reach for the button on his jeans. Brian let go of his hand so that he could remove these jeans and put the new ones on, but he moved his hand to rest on the small of AJ’s back. Even though they were joking around with each other, stress still ran underneath everything. How could they not stress? The public now knew that AJ was HIV positive; the repercussions from that could be outrageous.
“You know, you guys are assholes.” AJ told them as he stepped out of his jeans. “Teasing me like I did this on purpose. I’m not that much of an attention whore! Give me a little credit, man.” He pouted a little as he pulled up his new jeans and zipped them.
Leaning in a little, Brian kissed his cheek. “Aw, you know we love you. It’s why we tease you, honey.”
“Yeah, yeah.” But AJ was giving him that special smile that he only gave to him. Those beautiful brown eyes were lit with love and tenderness. It was a part of AJ that Brian got to see, but no one else. That special part of him that he gave only to his lover. The trust in that always left Brian feeling special. He felt his lips curve and knew that his own eyes would be shining back with the same feeling. God, how he loved this man.
A cough caught their attention. They looked over to see Marcus rolling his eyes. “If you two are done making goo-goo eyes at each other, you ready to head home?” he asked them. “There’s quite a crowd to work past out there. I got permission to take us out where the ambulances come in.”
Serious again, the two nodded at him. They held hands as Marcus started to lead them out of the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Getting home was easy enough. Surprisingly, the ploy of leaving from the ambulance entrance actually worked. Once they were gone, Mikayla went out the front door to drive AJ’s car home for him, effectively clearing the press away from the hospital.
The whole ride home AJ stayed quiet. His leg was aching some but it wasn’t so bad that it was going to piss him off. Just a minor irritation that some ibuprofen would most likely take care of. That wasn’t what was bothering him. What bothered him, what he couldn’t get out of his mind, was the whole incident. Mainly, what he had had to tell the medic.
If he was normal, like any other guy out there, the worst of the afternoon would have been a quick trip to the hospital for stitches. Hell, Brian would have been able to drive him even, and the medic would have been able to help him out a little there at the mall. But no. He had this, this thing in his blood, tainting him. It just wasn’t fair.
He had thought he’d come to terms with his disease. That he had finally accepted having it be a part of his life. But this just brought the reality of a few things home to him. One, he hadn’t fully come to terms with things yet. Two, he was absolutely terrified of dealing with the press on this. They were going to take this and run with it for a long time. He’d become public fodder. Not only that, but everyone was going to know now. Absolutely everyone.
There wasn’t an ounce of shame or embarrassment in him for the world knowing that he and Brian were a couple. If anything, that was the good that had come from the day. If Brian was ok with it, than AJ was ok with it.
But AJ couldn’t stop thinking about how different this afternoon would have been if he wasn’t sick. It preyed on his mind the entire ride home. When the car was parked, AJ didn’t bother talking to anyone. He simply opened the door of the car and climbed out. Wrapping his arms around himself he headed, not for the front door, but along the side of the house to the backyard. No one followed him and for that he was grateful. Right then he needed some alone time.
What were you supposed to do when you were faced with exactly how different your life had become? Sure, he knew that his life had changed. He’d thought he’d accepted it. Every day at the prescribed times he took his medications. The types of food he ate had changed drastically to support a healthier lifestyle. He and Brian used condoms in their lovemaking to make sure that they were safe. He went to every appointment and let them do their tests and followed Dr. Shannon’s advice. All of those things were just part and parcel of having HIV.
As AJ sat in the hammock in the yard he let out a sigh. Yeah, he did those things. But otherwise, he pushed it out of his mind. Dealing with the here and now of it, but not the rest.
It had scared him at the mall. To have to say what he did in front of so many people. Not only that, but it had hurt him to see the medic react the way he had. As if suddenly he’d discovered that AJ was covered in poison. Was that how people would treat him now? Like they weren’t even safe to touch him?
He laid back and stared up at the clouds in the sky, swinging slightly. How many things in their life were going to change because of today? How much would change for the band? It just didn’t seem fair.
The sound of footsteps reached his ears, pulling him out of his thoughts a little. Even before he got close, AJ knew it was Brian. Not only did he recognize the sound of his walk, but he knew that Brian would have understood he was out here thinking and wouldn’t have let anyone else come bug him. It didn’t bother him that Brian had come, though. They were two halves to a whole. Even if AJ worried about what would happen to Brian one day when AJ passed, they had talked about it enough that he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of their time together. They would enjoy what they had.
Silently Brian sat down next to him in the hammock and laid back as well so that they were side by side, watching the clouds.
For a little while they just lay there, rocking and looking. It was AJ who finally broke the silence. “I’m scared, Bri.” He said. That wasn’t what he’d planned on saying but the words had poured out anyways. Showing another of the reasons that he loved Brian, his lover didn’t instantly start to talk or reassure or anything. He just reached over and took hold of AJ’s hand, whispering “I know.”
“There’re so many things in my brain that I can’t help but stress over. How bad is the press going to be? What will this do to our group? To our sales and our fans and such like that? What’s Ma going to do when she sees this blasted all over the world? Hell, baby, what about your parents?” That last thought had just occurred to him and it had AJ turning his head to stare at Brian with wide, horrified eyes. Oh God, he hadn’t thought about that!
Brian rolled his head so that he was staring right into AJ’s eyes. There was so much calm in him that AJ couldn’t help but feel a little calmer. “Alex, breathe a little. I called Mom and Dad once we got home and asked them if they could come out to visit. I told them there’s something important that we want to talk to them about but the press caught wind before we could tell them. They agreed to avoid TV and such like that till they get here, and they’ll be on a flight out in an hour. That’ll put them in about five in the morning.”
“Jesus. They’re coming here, that quickly?”
“Of course. I guess I could have told them over the phone, but I wanted it to be face to face.”
Nerves boiled up inside of AJ right alongside the fear. He looked back up at the sky. Words built but he couldn’t get them past the lump in his throat. Man, what if Brian’s parents acted anything like his Ma had? What if he ruined the relationship between them? He didn’t know if he could live with that. It was bad enough that his Ma didn’t speak to him. But to put Brian in a place where that might happen to him? Tears built in his eyes.
A hand wiggled underneath him as another grabbed his shoulder. AJ found himself rolled over so that he was against Brian’s side, wrapped tight in his arms. That was enough to have some of his tears leaking out. “It’s not fair.” He whispered against Brian’s chest. One hand came up to grip tightly in Brian’s shirt. The tears came faster and faster. “Everything’s so fucked up, Bri.”
“I know, Alex.” Brian whispered soothingly into his hair.
“What…what if they react badly? I’ll be responsible for ruining your relationship with your parents.”
Brian’s arms tightened around him. “Shh, baby. If they react badly than it’s their problem, not mine, and not yours. No matter what, at the end of the day, so long as I have you in my life what does the rest of it matter?”
“But it does matter! They’re your parents. How can I ruin that relationship? I’m so tired of feeling like I’m ruining everything I touch.” His voice cracked on the last part of the sentence and AJ gave up all shame. He let the tears fall as they would. Curled against Brian’s side he felt safe and protected. Free to break for a while.
“You wouldn’t be ruining the relationship. They would be, if they can’t accept the way things are. This wasn’t your fault, AJ. You did not ask for this. You also didn’t force me to stay. I’m the one that made that choice. They’ll have to live with it. But enough about them. It’s not them that I’m worried about.” Brian held him closer and AJ relished in the embrace. He tipped up his tear stained face to look into Brian’s eyes as he asked “What’re you worried about then?”
“You.” Brian said simply. There was so much emotion in his eyes that it had AJ crying even more. “I’m worried about you, baby. I hate seeing you be in so much pain. I wish there was something I could do to take away the pain and the fears.”
“You help just by being you. I don’t know how I’d get through this without you, Bri. I really don’t.” It was the honest truth. As for helping him… “There are things you do for me that help. Like right now. Being in your arms is the best kind of help of all. Nothings ever so bad when you’re holding me.”
If anyone else had been able to hear him talk like that they would have been surprised. But around Brian, he was free to drop all his defenses. He didn’t have to worry about what he said or did. He was free to be Alex.
Quiet settled over them as the two went back to swaying. AJ closed his eyes and just let Brian’s presence soothe him. Whatever was coming their way, they would handle it. Together. He just prayed that something would finally go right for them.