The whole mall seemed to be silent for that first minute. AJ looked at the medic’s face and could clearly see the disgust that was there. It hurt, more than he would ever let on to him. The man moved back a little as his eyes went wide, looking down to where the blood was dripping off of AJ’s pants. “I’ll uh, I’ll call for a paramedic to come take care of this.” He said cautiously.
Mikayla looked at the medic with open annoyance. “Give me your kit. I’m an RN, I can handle cleaning him up.” She snapped out.
The whispers started around them now, steadily growing louder. AJ closed his eyes and wished that he was anywhere but there. Within the hour this would be plastered in every newspaper and on every news channel. He was going to become fodder for the press and they would run with it. Celebrity AJ Mclean, HIV positive? They would eat him alive. It took all of his control not to break down where he was. What would this do to the band? God!
If it wasn’t for Brian’s presence beside him, AJ would have bolted off the floor and out of the mall as quickly as possible. The only thing that kept him there, allowing him to be cleaned up by his best friend, was feeling Brian right beside him. That was the only thing. What he really wanted was to feel Brian’s arms around him, holding him and supporting him. But that would be letting another secret out to the press that they hadn’t discussed letting anyone know about. In the year that they’d been together they had never seriously sat down and decided on telling the press about their relationship.
He had wanted to, but he knew that whenever it finally got to the point that his disease was discovered the media would try to paint Brian with the same brush and that was the last thing AJ wanted. To see Brian crucified in the tabloids for dating a man who was HIV positive would just devastate AJ. He didn’t want that to happen. Oh, logically he knew that it was Brian’s choice, but it wasn’t a choice AJ wanted him to have to make.
Apparently Brian had other ideas. When AJ had closed his eyes to try to hide from this, Brian leaned in closer to him. One arm came around his shoulders. AJ’s brain screamed at him to move away before people made too much of that one gesture, but his body betrayed him by leaning in closer.
Mikayla set to work on his leg, moving his pants out of the way and applying pressure with the cloth from the man’s kit. After a second she pulled it back, inspecting his leg. “Whatever cut you got you good, Age.” She told him softly. All of them were trying to ignore the crowd that still hung around them. No one was pushing forward anymore but they were all still there, whispering and listening. “We need to go ahead and call the ambulance, I think. You’ll need stitches and to have it cleaned so it doesn’t get infected. No telling what part of this broken kiosk cut you and what germs are on it.”
Son of a bitch. That wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear. Stitches? That must mean it was pretty torn open. He hadn’t looked at it yet so he had no idea. Seeing his own blood wasn’t something he was very fond of. But AJ knew that Mikayla wouldn’t say it unless he needed it. “Can’t you guys drive me?” he managed to ask her. Opening his eyes, he looked at her face and saw the compassion and love there as she shook her head. “Sorry, honey. You’re bleeding pretty good and we need to take the right kind of precautions. I’m sorry.”
She sent the medic off to make the call for them and went back to applying pressure. AJ took a deep, shuddering breath and forced his emotions down under lock and key. Now was not the time to come off looking weak. Not with all the fans looking on at him and people snapping pictures from the upper level. He had to be calm and practical. “Bri, we’ll need to call Kev and give him a heads up so he can talk to management.” AJ said, turning his head so he could whisper to his boyfriend.
Brian nodded at him. The hand that was around AJ, resting on the back of his shoulder, started to rub soothingly. “I’ll take care of it shortly, AJ. Don’t worry.”
“You should call and get security to come out. Marcus doesn’t live too far away from here. I use him all the time when I’m home. He’s always willing to come out with me. He’ll get over here quickly and go to the hospital with us.” He added. Practical matters. If he thought of practical matters then he might be able to keep his brain busy enough that he wouldn’t have time to worry too much.
Keeping his one arm around AJ, Brian used his other hand to reach into his pocket and pull out his cell. One handed he opened it and dialed the familiar number. AJ barely paid attention as Brian spoke into the phone. He moved his eyes back to Mikayla. “Sorry about this, girl. Not exactly how I pictured our afternoon out. They’ll have your picture now and will blast this everywhere.”
With a small smile, Mikayla winked at him. “Shut up, AJ. It’s not like you intentionally ran into the kiosk. Lunatics knocked it over trying to get to you. So, you have nothing to apologize for, m’kay?” she said firmly. It reminded him of one of the reasons that he loved her so much. She was practical and level headed and honest.
For a while AJ just sat there as Mikayla kept cleaning off his leg as best she could. It was only a short time later that he heard a familiar voice clearing its way through the crowd. A moment later Marcus was there, squatting beside him, a wide grin on his face. “Only you would be running from fans and manage to get knocked by a mall kiosk, J.” he teased him.
When they’d been on tour, AJ had been candid with Marcus about his condition. It had been a pleasant surprise when Marcus had simply shrugged and said ok. He’d never worried about it or brought it up again. So AJ didn’t worry about his reaction now. He drummed up a half smile. “Shut up, Marcus. It wasn’t my fault. Kay said so.”
“Yeah, yeah, Grace. Paramedics should be right behind me. They were pulling in as I came in the doors.”
About then they all heard the voices of the paramedics calling for a pathway to clear. Marcus rose and set about helping the security guards make an open pathway for the gurney to come in. The bad part of it all was that the media had also arrived. Cameras started to flash and voices grew louder.
AJ held still as the paramedics dropped the gurney to the ground beside him. One of them, both were male, knelt by his head and gave him a smile. “Hello, Mr. Mclean. I’m Josh. We’re just going to get you on the gurney and get you to the ambulance. Once we’re in there we’ll get things cleaned up as best we can, ok?”
Wryly he looked from Josh to the gurney. “Can I lift myself on there or do you have to do it?” he asked him. Josh laughed. “We’ll lift your leg to keep the pressure on, but feel free to move the rest of you. Makes our job a little easier. Not that you look heavy.”
“He’s feather lite. “ Brian teased softly. Turning his head, AJ glared at him. Brian just grinned back cheekily, pulling a reluctant chuckle from AJ. As they spoke, the other paramedic was taking over for Mikayla, applying dressing and taping it around his leg for the moment.
He managed to get himself on to the gurney pretty easily, the paramedic lifting his leg for him and helping him situate it. Then they were raising it back up and tipping up the back end so that he could sit up as they moved him.
Reporters started shouting questions at them, but Marcus stood by one side and calmly cleared anyone back that got too close. Brian was on the other side of him and the paramedics were in front and back of the gurney. Mikayla walked beside Marcus. All in all, AJ felt like one giant freak show as they started to wheel him out to the ambulance. “I feel like I should wave.” He said sarcastically. “It’s like my own parade.”
“Oh no, the ego’s growing.” Brian said mockingly. He put a hand on AJ’s shoulder absently, as if he didn’t even realize doing it. “We’ll have to watch out or he’ll start expecting a parade all the time.”
“Shut up, Brian.”
“Now, is that any way for a person to talk in a parade? Doesn’t sound like a nice parade to me.”
Chuckling despite himself, AJ shot him a look from the corner of his eye. “You’re just jealous because the parade’s mine and not yours. You wish you were this cool.”
“Cool enough to have fans knock me over and slice my leg open so that I get a free ambulance ride? Hm. I think I’ll just leave that one up to you, thank you very much. I’m partial to keeping my blood inside of my body.”
This time he laughed outright. “It wasn’t my fault! God, you tease me like I deliberately sliced my leg open!” he said. But he felt his heart lifting a little with the easy banter, which was most likely the reason that Brian was doing it. Was there anyone out there who knew him better than his wonderful boyfriend? Brian always seemed to know just what to do for him to make him feel better.
“Who knows? You probably shoved your leg out there. I bet that’s it. You can’t fool me, Age!”
“What? Are you insane?” AJ asked him. He let his fake glare grow a little. “You do realize they’re going to sew my skin shut? With a needle? I hate needles!”
“Should have thought of that before you shoved your leg into the kiosk.”
By that time they were going out the doors and into the sunlight. AJ paid no attention to it or to the reporters that were outside, waiting to pounce. He couldn’t seem to stop laughing at Brian. “You’re such an ass.” He managed to say.
All their laughter cut off as the reporters and cameras swarmed around them. They effectively cut off the path to the ambulance. Microphones were shoved in his direction and people were shouting questions as flashes of light went off all around him. Thank God he still had his shades on. It made it so that he wasn’t blinded by the lights too badly. The questions around them grew louder and louder.
“AJ! AJ! Is it true that a fan attacked you?”
“Did someone stab you, AJ?”
“Is it true that you tried to leap from the upper to the lower levels?”
The things they asked grew more and more ridiculous. Years of dealing with media and publicity had taught both AJ and Brian how to deal with situations like this. As the paramedics, aided by Marcus, slowly cut a way through the crowd, AJ looked up to answer a few questions. It would be the only way to get any of them to be quiet, and it would let his side of the story be out there with the first reports instead of later on, which would make it seem more like a contrived story.
He held a hand up to them all, gesturing for it to grow quiet. They still pushed forward, but they all stopped shouting at him.
“Brian, myself, and my old friend Mikayla were just spending an afternoon at the mall. We were caught by crowds of fans that we knew we wouldn’t be able to deal with because they were a little over excited.” He told them all. The words he chose were careful and deliberate. “We did try to run from them because of the sheer size of the group. We came out of JC Penny’s and were trying to get down to the exit before the crowd caught up, but they were fast, and another group was coming right at us. We tried to move between a few kiosks and some fans got a little excited and knocked one over. In the process, my leg was cut open by one. I’m just going to the hospital to get stitches but that’s all. I’m fine, and as far as I know so are all the fans. It was a horrible accident, but that’s all it was. An accident.”
One reporter shoved his mic forward toward the gurney. “Sources say that you told the medic on scene that he couldn’t touch your blood because you’re HIV positive. Can you confirm or deny this?”
The largest part of him wanted to deny it; to lie his ass off and say that it was just a misunderstanding. But too many people had heard him. There was no guaranteeing that nobody would talk about it later. Aside from that, he didn’t want to sit here and be so dishonest. Brian had helped him realize time and again that there was no shame in what had happened to him. This wasn’t his fault. So he squared his shoulders and set his face in firm lines as he nodded his head. “It’s true, I am.”
Instantly the voices broke out in another loud rush. Questions were shouted all over again. One of them came through loud and clear, shouting “Does this mean you’re gay?” and another “Brian, are you his boyfriend?”
“We don’t have to answer those.” AJ murmured so softly that he knew no one else but Brian would hear him. “I don’t want to put you in that kind of place.” He didn’t want Brian feeling obligated to say or do anything.
The look Brian gave him was full of wry amusement. “I’ve told you before, I don’t care who knows about us, AJ.” Brian whispered back. “I have no shame in us. It would make me proud to claim you in front of the entire world. Why shouldn’t they know you’re the partner I’ve always wanted? Plus, it’ll come out eventually. Why not at the same time as the rest of it?”
Surprise had AJ turning his head to look full on at his boyfriend. He hadn’t realized how deeply Brian felt about the public knowing. “But your family…”
“Already knows. They guessed a long time ago, babe. Mom knew I was gay before I ever even thought to tell her. So none of that’s important. Unless you don’t want people to know…” Brian trialed off there, suddenly looking uncertain. The kept up this whispered conversation even as the reporters grew louder. The two men were close enough that there wasn’t any danger of being heard.
AJ quickly tried to reassure hm, horrified that Brian had taken what he’d said that way. “No, no, honey, that’s not it. I would love to tell them. I just don’t want you to have to deal with the accusations because of my problem.”
“Oh, is that all it is?” Brian asked. His face cleared and a smile bloomed. Without another word between them, Brian turned back to the crowd and flashed them all a wide grin. They grew quiet in the hopes that Brian would speak. He didn’t disappoint them. “Us dating has nothing to do with AJ’s disease. He got that from a bad blood transfusion at a bad hospital. Being gay isn’t the only way to contract HIV, you know.”
His simple statement seemed to shock everyone around them, including Marcus and Mikayla. For his part, AJ could only feel both amazed and proud. Maybe this wasn’t the best way for things to come out, and maybe it would bite them in the ass with management and their friends or family, but it felt good to smile at the crowd and to be honest.
When someone asked Brian if he was also positive, the sweet man grinned even bigger. “We play safely.” He said jokingly. “I’m not sick at all.”
The crowd in front of them finally broke up enough that they got the gurney to the ambulance. They turned him around and quickly set about getting him inside. Josh gave them a grin and tipped a wink to Brian. “You can ride with us.” He offered.
AJ breathed a huge sigh of relief. The last thing he wanted was to end up at the hospital without Brian with him. Most especially if they were going to be stitching his leg up. The other paramedic, who smiled in a shy little way and had yet to introduce himself, brought a cloth over and started to clean AJ’s hands as Brian climbed inside. Marcus poked his head in long enough to say “Kay and I will meet you guys there. I’m calling in a little backup to make sure the hospital stays clear, though. You two have my number. Make sure to remember to talk to them about me being back there.”
Then Brian was beside him and the doors were closing. A moment later the ambulance was setting off down the road. AJ’s hands were finally clean and he wasted no time taking hold of Brian’s hands to center on as the paramedics checked on his leg. “I love you.” It was all he could say as he looked over at his love.
Brian smiled so soft and sweet that AJ felt it straight down into his heart. “As I love you, Alex.” Brian whispered back. He leaned in and kissed him lightly. “I’m glad everyone knows now. It feels right to me.”
Laying his head back, AJ smiled and closed his eyes. “Does to me too.” There may have been shit today, he thought to himself, and there might be more later. But at least something good came out of it. We don’t have to hide anymore.