The two men slept most of the morning and early afternoon away. Brian was the first to wake up, feeling a whole lot better than he had when he’d lain down. He hadn’t wanted to admit to AJ that his chest had been sore, or that he’d been tired. Sometimes it still irritated him how easily he could grow tired or winded. But it was improving each and every day, so long as he continued his exercises.
With that in mind he got Nina’s attention and took her downstairs with him. After grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, and pausing to admire the dining table that now sat in the informal dining room, Brian took Nina outside with him to take his afternoon walk around the yard.
It gave him time to think, walking. A nap with AJ in his arms had done wonders for his mood. It had helped put things into perspective. In retrospect he could now see every little thing that had contributed to Harold snapping the way that he had.
None of it excused the behavior, and Brian intended to see that his father understood that. Nothing would excuse him physically attacking AJ. Just seeing the bruises on AJ’s neck was enough to have Brian feeling irritated. But, if AJ could get past it, Brian decided that he could as well. Though it had been done because of their relationship, it wasn’t fair for him to step in and take it all on to his shoulders. This portion of things, for the most part, had to be between Harold and AJ.
Realizing that took a weight off of Brian’s shoulders. He had no doubt that this would be fixed. Though damage had been done, this portion of things would be fixed.
As for the rest of it, well, that was going to depend on his Dad. They had told him that they loved one another. That they were happy. It had devastated Brian to have his father react so angrily about that. But here, walking with Nina brushing against his leg, he looked at why it had devastated him. Was it because a part of him was still begging for his father’s approval? Did he really need his father’s blessing on their relationship?
Look at what they had done with their life without that blessing. He had not just a house, but a home, that he shared with his partner. A dog. They were slowly fixing the house up to suit the two of them. They had made it through telling the band, through Brian getting sick. Hell, they’d made it through open heart surgery and the recovery that came afterwards. If AJ stuck by him through all of that, and if they both still loved one another and wanted nothing more than to be with one another, then what was so important about his father’s blessing?
Another weight left Brian’s shoulders. No, he didn’t need his dad to approve or bless their relationship. In every way that mattered they were already blessed.
What he did want was to be able to salvage as much of the relationship as possible with his parents. He wanted to be able to maintain the relationship they had once had. But if his father made him choose, if he drew that line, Brian knew who he would choose. There was really no thought involved.
Now that all of that was squared away in his mind he moved back toward the house. Even as he stepped inside he could hear AJ shuffling around upstairs.
By the time AJ had made his way downstairs Brian already had two cups of tea, one liberally laced with honey to soothe a sore throat, waiting on the table as well as a platter of fruit and the laptop. “Hey, beautiful.” Brian said softly from his spot at the table. When AJ got close Brian tilted his head up for a kiss.
AJ obliged him, smiling, before he sat down in the chair next to him and picked up his cup of tea. “Thank you.” He scraped out before taking a drink. His voice sounded rougher than sandpaper. One drink of the tea had him closing his eyes and growling lightly in pleasure. Absurdly pleased by that, Brian blushed and finished checking the last of his email.
“How long you been up?” AJ asked him. He stole a grape off the platter and popped it into his mouth.
Brian looked at the clock on the stove. “Bout an hour or so. I took Nina for her walk.” At the sound of her name Nina lifted her head up from where she was lying on the ground next to him. Brian absently reached out and scratched behind her ears. She made a low growling sound that almost sounded like a purr.
“You should of woke me. I would’ve walked with you.”
“I know, baby. You needed your sleep.”
The room was quiet for a minute. Brian closed out his email before he turned to look at his lover. It struck him yet again how handsome his boyfriend was. In black jeans and a white tank top, with his legs pulled up Indian style in the chair, the look was only marred by the bruises that seemed to have become darker in the past few hours. Still, Brian found himself smiling.
Who would have ever thought that he’d fall for this man? They were opposites in so many ways. Where Brian dressed in a more conservative style, AJ’s style was darker, more gothic. The black nail polish, the laced leather cuff bracelet, the black gauge earrings, the tattoos. Sure, Brian had his tattoo work done. But nothing like what AJ did. He practically had ‘sleeves’ by now. But, that was a part of him, and Brian wouldn’t have changed it for anything.
AJ slanted his eyes sideways as he took another drink from his tea. “What?” he asked curiously. “I got something on my face? Dried drool or some shit like that?”
Unable to do anything else, Brian laughed. He leaned in and kissed AJ’s cheek. “Can’t I just look at you?”
“Well, sure.” AJ gave him a wide grin. “It’s understandable. I find myself doing it all the time. I am a pretty sexy dude, you know.”
“Humble, too.” Brian said wryly. He chuckled again when AJ elbowed his arm.
After setting his cup down on the table AJ reached over and stole the laptop. He tapped his fingers across the keyboard, pulling up his own email account. “So, what’re we going to do with our wonderful afternoon here?” he asked as he sifted through his emails.
“Not too sure. I thought maybe we’d just take it easy. What do you think?”
“I think we should go see your parents.”
The words stunned Brian. It was the last thing he had expected AJ to say. Even as he stared AJ continued to look at his emails, speaking almost absently. “Stuff like this can’t be allowed to fester, Bri. We need to bring it to a head before everything gets clouded and shittier than it already is.”
A smile curved AJ’s lips as he closed his account and powered down the laptop. “After that I thought we’d swing by that tattoo shop. You did promise me we could go back.”
The change in conversation from one thing to the next had Brian’s brain scrambling to keep up. He found himself shaking his head slightly. “I will never understand you.” He mumbled.
AJ’s grin was wide and smug. “Of course not. Life would be too boring then.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn’t that much later that they were in the Explorer and heading into downtown Portland. Brian had text his mother and, at AJ’s suggestion, set up for them to all meet at a little restaurant the two men loved. It was small, with booths that afforded a very privet feel to your meal. It allowed them to go out together and eat without being scrutinized. Plus, the food was delicious.
AJ was honestly surprised that Harold had agreed to it. Then again, Jackie may not have given him much choice. Either way he didn’t really care. By the end of this dinner some things were going to be worked through, no matter what the outcome would be.
There was a nip to the air that gave testament to the fact that it was November in the North West. A part of AJ was thankful for that because it allowed him to wear a scarf, which effectively covered up his bruising. The last thing he wanted was to have Brian thinking about that all night long. All that would do would distract him.
Yet a part of AJ was getting a twisted amusement out of the whole situation. With the way that Brian’s dad had looked at him, AJ hadn’t been able to help wondering what had pissed Senior off more; the fact that his son was gay, or the fact that he was dating someone so different than what they were used to. He hadn’t been able to control himself as they’d got ready to go. He’d dressed at his most comfortable.
Instead of regular sneakers he’d gone with the red Chucks, with the skull laces. A comfortable pair of black jeans with a studded belt and a chain that went from the belt loop to his wallet in his back pocket. A plain white shirt and a black vest, which he left unbuttoned. He pinned a small skull to once side of it and had pulled on two different necklaces. One of which was a cross that he’d owned for years, and the other was actually a skull done in silver, with small rubies for eyes that, surprisingly, Brian had got for him one year. He’d also put in the small silver hoop for his nose ring because, for some reason, Brian loved that.
From there he’d just had fun. He kept on the jewelry he’d been wearing earlier, but added the rubbery style black bracelets that people wore in bunches, and only two rings. He topped the whole look off with one of his favorite fedoras, a leather jacket, and a scarf that was the same red as his Chucks.
AJ parked the Explorer and looked over at Brian. Their styles were so different in so many ways! Brian was dressed in blue jeans, a simple white shirt, and a red zip up sweater. The only piece of jewelry he wore was the cross that AJ had bought for him. From the bottom of his white sneakers to the top of his curly head he was such a polar opposite for AJ. And one of the most attractive people that AJ had ever known. He found himself thinking how nice it would be to say screw dinner, pull Brian into the backseat, and peel off all their layers…
He stopped that thought before it got too much further. It wasn’t exactly a good idea to go to dinner with his boyfriends parents and be sporting a hard-on. Not a great impression to make.
Something must have shown in his face because Brian’s eyes started to sparkle and his lips were curving. “Not right now.” Brian said, pointing a finger at him. “Maybe later, if you’re good.”
AJ scoffed as he stepped out of the car. “Sugar, I’m always good.”
“At getting in trouble.” Brian mumbled to himself.
With a mock scowl, AJ punched Brian’s upper arm. “I know how to behave!” He exclaimed. Then the scowl dropped and his smile was pure cockiness. “I just typically choose not to.”
As they bickered they walked into the restaurant. The waitress, who had grown used to seeing them, smiled and escorted the two back to a table she knew they preferred, that was the most secluded one in the whole place. Unless they were right at the table no one would even know you were there. Brian informed her that two others, his parents, would be joining them before too much longer. She took their drink orders before leaving.
“So, you really think they’ll show?” AJ asked. He plucked a breadstick from the basket that the waitress had put on the table and broke it in half, handing one end of it to Brian. His partner took it, gesturing with it as he spoke. “Mom said they’d be here. If she says they’ll be here, Dad doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. My mom’s good at steering dad in directions she wants him to go.”
“So that’s where you learned it from, huh? It’s your Ma I have to thank for that.”
“Alex, I think even you could give my mom a run for her money.” Brian shook his head and pretended to sigh. “Trying to lead you somewhere you don’t want to go is almost impossible.” The light in Brian’s eyes took the sting out of his words. “I’ve learned that being with you is like riding a bull. The best you can hope for is to hold on tight and enjoy the ride.”
“Thanks, I think.”
The waitress returned with their drinks at that moment. They both drank their usual coffee. It was one of their favorite reasons for coming there. This place still made fresh ground coffee. “You know you’re not supposed to have that.” AJ said, tapping Brian’s mug. He had to pause and clear his throat for a second; it still hurt to talk, though it was easier than it had been a few hours ago. He picked up the little cups in a dish, sifting through until he found the creamer flavor he wanted. “You have way too much caffeine in your diet.”
“Yes, sir.” Brian said mockingly.
Before AJ could retaliate, the waitress walked over, escorting Brian’s parents. A grin threatened to break free, but AJ held it in. It almost looked as if Jackie was dragging her husband. She almost pushed him to sit down on their half of the booth, and then sat down next to him, effectively trapping him in as well as putting him across from Brian.
They were each handed menus and were told that the woman would be back in a bit to take their orders. She disappeared, returning briefly to give Harold and Jackie the tea they’d ordered before she left them alone again.
“So, Brian said you two eat here all the time.” Jackie said perkily. “What’s good to eat?”
Looking into her eyes, AJ could see that they had an ally on their side. What she felt about everything wasn’t obvious, but what was obvious was that she was going to go along with whatever made her son happy.
“Just about everything’s good, Mom.” Brian told her. He looked up and down his own menu. “Usually we get something different each time we come, so we haven’t had everything yet. I think I might get a burger tonight, but I’m not sure.”
AJ slanted a look to his right, raising his eyebrows at Brian. “Coffee and a burger? Seriously?”
One look at AJ’s face had Brian sighing. “All right, maybe not a burger. Hey, I haven’t had the chicken fettuccini yet. Now that does look good, and look, it has the little heart healthy symbol by it. Aint that just dandy.” The last was said mockingly, for AJ’s benefit, and with a sparkle to Brian’s eyes. It took everything AJ had not to lean over and kiss him.
“Does he tell you what you can and can’t eat now?” Harold asked gruffly. He didn’t look up from behind his menu, so he missed the three annoyed looks that he received. It was Brian who chose to answer him. “No, dad. He helps me keep track of the diet the doctor put me on. He was right. I have the caffeine here that I really shouldn’t; I don’t need to break my diet more by ordering that much grease.”
They were interrupted by the waitress coming to take their orders. After she’d written everything down and left again, the table went silent. Under the table AJ put his hand on Brian’s leg, wanting to offer him comfort. He knew how hard this was for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian wished to God that this dinner would get done and over with. No one had spoken the entire time they waited for their food to arrive. Once it had, they’d all tucked in, yet still no one spoke. It wasn’t until the food was gone, the plates cleared, and cups refilled that someone decided to speak.
“This is ridiculous.” Jackie said suddenly. She looked from her son to her husband with an exasperated expression. “You two need to start talking and get this worked out. He’s your son, Harold. You love him and you know it, so quit trying to act like the world has ended because of his news.”
“I’m still the same person, Dad. I haven’t changed who I am, not really.” Brian said softly. He felt AJ take his hand and appreciated the show of support. “Who I love doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bad person. I’m still me. Just, happier.”
“How can this make you happier?” There was fire in Harold’s voice and eyes, though he managed to keep his tone lowered. “This isn’t normal, Brian! It isn’t right. These kinds of relationships are not for people of the church. In others we can accept this and forgive their sins. But to a person who was raised religiously, knowing what’s right and what’s not, well, this is intentional sin. You know better than this.”
“You talk like it’s a choice I have, Dad. Like I chose to feel the way I do. This wasn’t a choice for me, any more than you loving mom was a choice for you. How do you feel when you see mom? To this day, what feelings crop up when you see her?”
Brian’s question threw Harold off guard. He looked to his wife, who was smiling, and answered without thinking about it. “Every morning when I wake up and she’s next to me I smile that God’s granted me another day with her. She makes my days brighter, and my heart race. No matter what kind of day I’m having, looking into her eyes always brings me joy.” The honest emotion in his voice struck a chord in all of them.
“It’s not something you can control, is it, Dad? You didn’t choose for that to happen. It just did. And since then it still happens, every day of your life. Can’t you respect that it’s the same way for us?” A part of Brian wanted to lean in to AJ, to hold tightly to him and be held. But they were in public, and what they wanted the public to know hadn’t been decided yet. Brian was done hiding, but he wasn’t going to let his secret out without talking to the others that it would affect first.
“It’s not the same!” Harold insisted. “This is an abomination! To do something like this is to go against everything that God preaches to us.”
A slight clenching of AJ’s hand was meant as a warning for Brian to keep his cool, but he ignored it. “The bible also teaches us to not do violence, dad. To control our temper and to offer our problems up to God so that He might help us through them. Isn’t that right?”
“That’s-”
Brian cut him off. “Isn’t it? You’ve always told me to not be violent. To control my temper and keep myself under control. If I had a problem with someone to pray for their soul. To avoid fighting at all costs. But one piece of bad news, a few smart ass remarks, and you take the person I love and choke them until they almost pass out.”
The table was silent. Shame had lit Harold’s eyes; they flashed guiltily from AJ back to Brian. “I didn’t intend to hurt him.” He said softly. He cleared his throat and looked from one to the other again. “He seems fine, though, and this is beside the point. We’re discussing you, son.”
This time AJ didn’t just squeeze, but gripped tightly to Brian’s hand and pulled, trying to draw his attention away. Brian was having nothing to do with it, though. He actually felt his temper move almost to its breaking point. “Fine?” he asked. Disbelief and anger colored his tone. “You think he’s fine?”
Without warning Brian took hold of AJ’s scarf and unwound it, throwing it down on the table. He pointed at the bruises there, not paying attention to his mother’s gasp. He only had eyes for his father. Harold was staring at his hands. “Look at him, dad. Look what you did and tell me that he’s fine; that it’s ‘beside the point’. Look what your anger did.”