Guilt ate at Brian’s insides as he stared at the back of AJ’s head. What was he going to say to him? How did he excuse that kind of behavior? In his mind’s eye he could still see AJ pressed against the fridge, his face growing red as he tried to breathe, hands clawing at Harold’s fingers, legs kicking as they tried to find a way to stand. His dad, one of the most peaceful people he’d ever known….Brian could barely believe what he had seen.
“You gonna stand and stare at me or get on over here?” AJ asked him suddenly.
The sound of AJ’s voice had Brian wincing again. Not just the flatness to it, but the way it rasped so much stronger than normal. Nervously Brian moved forward and sat next to AJ on the step. He saw Nina lying on the ground, her head pillowed on AJ’s feet. “I brought you some tea. It should help your throat.”
“Thanks.”
AJ put the finished cigarette into the jug and turned to take the cup from Brian’s hands. With the way he turned, Brian could just catch a glimpse of the bruises that were already forming around AJ’s neck. Oh God. He couldn’t resist bringing a hand up to touch at the dark colors forming in that perfect skin. AJ flinched but didn’t stop Brian as he stroked lightly over them. He just calmly sipped at the tea.
“I am so-“ Brian started to apologize, but AJ suddenly brushed him off and climbed to his feet. Temper boiled underneath the surface, closer than Brian had realized.
“Don’t you dare apologize for him!” AJ snapped out. With trembling hands clutched at his mug. “I swear to God, Brian, if you sit there and try to tell me you’re sorry for what he did, I will not be responsible for my reaction.”
“But, why? Alex, I should! What I let happen to you in there, because I was too afraid to just come out and tell my parents, well, it’s inexcusable. I understand completely if you’re furious with me.”
“With you?” AJ asked in shock. “You think I’m furious with you?”
“Because I was terrified to tell my parents about our relationship, because I wasn’t man enough to deal with their reaction, I put you in a position to deal not only with my dad’s verbal abuse, but now a physical abuse as well.” Brian bowed his head, ashamed of himself. His heart hurt for what his lover had been through because he, Brian, was a coward.
A sudden scream filled the morning air. AJ had thrown his head back and bellowed to the sky. When he was done his face was a mask of anger. He glared at Brian. “Brian Thomas you are the single most exasperating person I have ever known!” He snapped at him. “Only you would come out here full of guilt because of something someone else did! Mad at you? You think I’d be mad at you? Keep up this guilt trip bull shit and I will be!”
The harsh sound to AJ’s voice had Brian’s own throat hurting slightly in sympathy. He could tell that speaking hurt AJ and that was the last thing he wanted. So he tried to console him. “Ok, ok, I get it. I won’t say any more about being guilt, all right? But please come sit down and drink that tea instead of shouting at me before you hurt your throat worse than it already is.”
For a second AJ just stood there. Then he took a deep breath, winced, and nodded. “Fine. But do it again and I’m not going to sit here and listen to it.” He warned before taking his seat again. Still, Brian noticed that AJ allowed himself to lean in. Brian lifted an arm, wrapping it around AJ’s shoulders.
Just as they got nice and snuggled in together there was the sound of a car coming up the drive. They looked at one another in confusion for a moment. At the same time their faces cleared. “The table.” They said.
Chuckling, Brian kissed AJ’s nose and rose to go deal with the delivery.
~~~~~~~~~~~
While the table was being unloaded from the truck AJ was taking Nina upstairs with him to the bedroom. He fully intended to take this time that Brian was distracted and get himself back under control. He needed to think and clear his head. The sharp edge of his anger was gone, but underneath it was so many more emotions that he had yet to deal with.
But when he shut the door to the bedroom, he realized that he didn’t want to be with his own thoughts. He wanted to talk to someone. Talking to Brian usually made him feel better, but he didn’t trust himself to do that. Not yet. Not until he had himself under control.
There was only one other person he wanted to talk to. Realizing that, AJ grabbed his phone from the dresser, as well as his black bottle of nail polish, and climbed into bed. After hooking up his Bluetooth in his ear he dialed Howie’s number and set about painting his nails black while the phone rang in his ear.
“Hey, J!” Howie answered his phone cheerfully. “Good to hear from you! What’re you up to?”
“Painting my nails.” AJ rasped out, knowing it would make Howie laugh. Sure enough his best friend chuckled for a second. “J, I gotta say, you sound like shit. You getting sick?”
Well, it was going to be easier to bring it up than he would have thought. With his usual tact AJ shrugged and dropped his bombshell. “Naw, I’m not sick. Just the side effect of getting choked against a refrigerator until I almost passed out.”
Silence. AJ bit at his lip as he painted his thumb and waited for the explosion.
“Who choked you?” Howie’s voice was low and even, a sure sign he was furious. Added to that he spoke in Spanish. Understanding it, and actually berating himself for not thinking of using Spanish himself, AJ switched languages to answer. “His dad.”
“Brian’s parents are there and his dad choked you against a fridge?” Howie asked incredulously.
“Pretty much. They called last night to say they were at the airport as a surprise. Not long after they got here they went to bed, so there wasn’t much of a chance to talk really. We thought they were still asleep this morning. I took Nina out, Brian took his shower. Our usual morning stuff.” As AJ finished his last nail he quickly caught Howie up on the mornings events.
When he was down the line was silent for a little bit. Then Howie snorted. “You really told him that Brian was gay, not a pedophile?”
“Yep. After which he slammed my throat against the fridge with my damn feet dangling off the ground. I swear, man, my life flashed before my eyes for a minute.”
“How much of it involved wearing clothes?”
The smart ass remark did more to soothe AJ than anything else would have. He found himself laughing, though it quickly turned to a cough that took a minute to control. When he was done, Howie didn’t give him time to talk. “Did you get your throat checked out yet?”
“It’s just some bruising, D. Chill.”
“Send me a picture.”
“No!” AJ exclaimed. He reclined back against the pillows, staring around their room. “I’m not sending a pic.”
“AJ…”
“No.”
“Do it!”
“No!”
“Now!”
AJ growled and picked up his phone, nothing bothering to speak his reply. He swore he could feel Howie’s smugness even through the telephone line. It took a couple tries before he got it right with the light and everything. Once he did he sent it to Howie’s phone and sat back to wait for the reaction that he knew was coming. Howie didn’t disappoint him.
“Jesus Christ, AJ! Get off the damn phone, stop talking to me, and rest your fucking throat. That looks like shit!”
“Gee, thanks. I feel so much better now.”
“What the hell is with this? He did that with just one hand?”
It had surprised AJ as well when he’d looked at the picture he’d taken. Harold Sr. had large hands, and it had done quite a bit to his skin. “You know I bruise easy, D.” He tried to brush it off. It wasn’t a lie. He really did bruise pretty easily. But that wasn’t enough to make Howie feel better. “I don’t care, AJ. That’s bullshit. I bet Brian’s pretty fucking pissed, and hurt, and guilty.”
“Tell me about it. He tried to apologize for it, like it was his fault. Idiot.”
“Go easy on him. This probably scared the shit out of him, and it probably hurts a lot more than you’re thinking about yet. This was his Dad, Age. How do you think he feels, knowing that his dad did that to you? He’s going to have to look at that and be reminded of it until the bruises fade.”
Frustrated, AJ ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want him feeling bad. I want him to relax. It wasn’t his fault! Plus, this isn’t good for his heart. He needs to keep his stress minimal.”
“Then let him take care of you for a bit.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Let Brian take care of you. Tell him you’re sore, and you want him to lie down with you. He’ll do it, you know. Because he’ll think he’s helping you. But really, you’ll be getting him to lay down and rest his heart. Two birds, one stone.”
A smile curved AJ’s lips. “You know, I knew there was a reason I called you.” He answered. Just as he said that, the bedroom door opened and Brian poked his head in. AJ gestured him in with a hand. “I think I’ll take your advice.” He told Howie, continuing to speak in Spanish so that Brian wouldn’t understand him. “Seeing as how he just came in. I’ll call you later, Howie. And, D? Thanks.”
“No problem.”
AJ hung up the call and pulled the little device out of his ear. He set them on the nightstand while Brian took a seat on the edge of the bed. “The tables all set up and the workers are gone.” Brian told him softly.
In his face AJ could see what Howie had been talking about. The way that Brian’s eyes drifted down to AJ’s throat showed his guilt and pain. He’d been an idiot not to see it earlier.
“Brian?” He asked gently. Waiting until his lovers eyes were on him, AJ asked “This has kind of left me drained. Would you snuggle me for a while?”
The smile that spread over Brian’s face reaffirmed to AJ that this was the right course. He double checked to make sure his nails were dry while Brian shut the light off and then joined him in bed. It took some maneuvering but they managed to find a position that was comfortable to them both without putting too much stress on Brian’s chest. Neither of them spoke. They just relished in one another’s strength and closeness, and wondered what was going to come next.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Howie stared at the phone in his hand once the call ended and wondered what the hell was going on. A part of him knew that this was privet business between the couple and Brian’s parents. But the other part of him couldn’t let his friends go through this alone. There had to be something he could do. Something that any of them could do.
In that moment, Howie knew the others deserved to know what had happened. First he emailed the picture that AJ had sent to both Kevin and Nick. Then he called them. Backstreet was going to figure this out. There had to be something they could do to help their friends.