Everyone was spread out through Brian’s living room, the movie turned off. Brian was still on the floor, but leaned back against the couch. AJ sat behind him, his legs curled up, feet tucked underneath him. He was absently picking at his thumb, the motion barely brushing against Brian’s hair.
“We were coming to welcome you home, J.” Kevin said, his smile a mile wide. “It’s so good to see you. You look so healthy.”
Brian felt AJ shift behind him. “Thanks, Kev. Just what a man always wants to hear. My, you look healthy today.” AJ teased. With a chuckle, Brian tipped his head back and grinned at AJ.
“We missed you, Bone.” Nick piped up. The smile he wore was slightly hesitant, but sincere. Out of all of them, Nick was having the hardest time dealing with AJ’s addiction and treatment. He seemed to take it really hard that one of his brothers, men that he looked up to, had fallen. “I hope, well, you know. I hope things are better for you. I hope you’re ok again.”
“We all do, J.” It was Howie’s turn to talk this time. “We’ve all missed you like hell, and worried about you. You gave us one hell of a scare.”
That brushing sensation against Brian’s hair grew faster. He had to stop himself from reaching back and grabbing AJ’s hand to stop him before he made his thumb bleed. Instead, he folded his hands in his lap and watched his friends faces as they all spoke of how happy they were to see him looking good, and all their best wishes. It was when they moved into their offers of help that AJ seemed to grow even more agitated.
It was Howie who finally set him off. “I hope this time that you realize we’re there for you. You don’t have to hide from us anymore. We’ll drop what we’re doing, no matter what, to be there for you, AJ.”
“Excuse me?” The scorn in those two words had everyone falling silent. AJ stopped picking at his thumb as he sat up, swinging his legs off the edge of the couch. “You’ll drop everything, huh? Just like you did before?”
“We would have, if you’d have come to us.” Nick said.
That had AJ’s body going stiff. Brian felt it, and turned toward him. AJ’s face was scornful, his mouth curled up in a sneer. “You would have, huh? Funny. I don’t seem to remember that one. In fact, I don’t remember much help at all. Howie, dumping me in to bed once or twice. Kevin coming up and paying my bill for me. Out of all of you, Bri’s the one who helped the most. He talked to me, or at least tried. I may not have let him do much, but he still tried.”
“You never wanted anything to do with us!” Color bloomed in Nick’s cheeks, a sign of temper that Brian recognized.
“I was hurting, damn you!” AJ yelled, clenching his hands into fists. “Where were any of you when I overdosed? Where were you when I almost drown in my own vomit? Who was there to help me the time I was so drunk I almost got mugged trying to walk home? If it hadn’t been for Marcus trailing after me against my wishes, I could have been killed!”
This time it was Kevin who spoke. His voice was pitched low in an effort to calm the situation. “I admit that we should have been there for you, AJ. More than we were. But putting the blame on us isn’t going to make any of this ok. It won’t change that it happened.”
“Nothing can change the stupid things I did. But some of it might not have got so bad if the people who were supposed to be my family had taken the time to give a damn.” AJ’s voice was bitter and full of a hurt that caught everyone off guard. “You guys sit there an say you’ll be there for me. I don’t believe you. I tried to get help from each and every one of you. Nick, I came to you, thinking that as the youngest you might understand a little more. You brushed me off an told me to go take a shower, that I reeked of booze.” Nick bowed his head down.
“Howie, you’ve been my best friend. I text your cell so many times. But what’d you usually send back to me? You were tired. Busy. Anything to tell me no.” Now Howie looked away, shame on his face. AJ turned toward Kevin. “You, how could I talk to you about anything? Do you know what it took to come to you at the end? Every time I looked at you, all I saw was your disappointment. You were so disappointed in me.”
Taking a deep breath, AJ laid a hand on Brian’s shoulder, needing the contact. Brian put a hand over top of his and squeezed. There was no pity on his face, no judgment. Just a calm and patience that soothed AJ. His temper faded away, leaving shame behind, that he had treated his family this way. “I’m not trying to blame you guys for my problems. They’re mine, and mine alone. They were my fault. But if we’re going to get anywhere, if we’re going to heal as a group, then you guys had to know what I felt. That, and my temper is still as short as it used to be. Maybe a little shorter, since I’ll still have cravings here and there.”
Calm again, AJ smiled around at them all. They smiled back at him. “I can’t promise to be the most pleasant. Sometimes a craving hits, and it hits hard. There’s times I may act like a jackass. I may drive you up the fucking wall, until you really just want to shoot me. All I’m asking for is your patience. I know I haven’t earned it, but I’m asking anyways.”
“You have it, and our faith too.” Kevin said quietly. Howie and Nick nodded in agreement.
Things weren’t perfect. For AJ, it would take a while to get them perfect. But, he was on the road to healing. In the long run, that was all a man could ask for. He couldn’t speak. Emotion clogged his throat. As if he sensed it, Brian turned to them all and grinned. “Well, I was thinking about ordering some pizzas. You guys wanna stay an eat pizza an watch a movie?”
Everyone voiced their agreement. As Brian went to make the call to order the pizzas, the debate for the movie started. “Not Aladdin!” Nick teased. Then everyone was talking at once and laughing, and Brian smiled to himself as he stepped into the kitchen and picked up the phone. Part of being friends with a big group of guys meant that he had a few take out places on speed dial on his phone. Also, most of those places remembered them .They always ordered tons.
As it rang, Brian hiked up on to the counter. His legs dangled and he stared out the window. When someone answered and ran through their opening spiel, Brian could hear loud laughter echo in from his living room. “Hey, Frank, it’s Brian.” He said, receiving a hello in return. Frank was the manager, and had spoke to the guys plenty of times. “Hey Brian! I better get our cook ready, eh? What can I do ya for today?”
“Oh, you know, the usual Frank. All the guys are here.”
“Usual, eh? Good God. Ernie!” The voice grew muffled for a minute as Frank shouted to his cook. “We got the usual order at the Littrell house!” He came back on the line, chuckling. “Ernie’s pleased and murderous all at the same time. So, just to double check it with you, that’s five large peperoni and sausage, and three supreme, right?”
“You’ve got a memory like an elephant, Frank.” Brian said, chuckling.
As they exchanged a few more pleasantries, the door to the kitchen pushed open and AJ poked his head in. He saw Brian sitting on the counters and grinned. He sauntered in, letting the door swing shut behind him. “Yeah, we’re good.” Brian said, answering a question from Frank. “What about your wife? How’s her hip holding up?”
While Frank rattled off his response, Brian watched AJ come closer and closer. When AJ was right by him, he stepped between Brian’s knees, resting his arms on Brian’s legs. With just his fingertips he toyed with the hem of Brian’s shirt. The two smiled at one another. Cocking his head sideways, AJ’s smile grew. He leaned in, nipping at Brian’s bottom lip, then sucking it into his mouth. He let go, only to press their lips together.
Brian held his moan back. In his ear, Frank continued to chatter away. If anyone had asked, Brian wouldn’t have been able to tell them what was said. His mind was turned to mush. When AJ pulled back, Brian almost moaned at the loss. He stared at him, trying to clear the fog off his brain. Frank’s voice cut through the haze a little, obviously asking a question. “Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry Frank. That sounds great. All right, best wishes to her too, ok? Yep. Bye.”
When he hung the phone up, Brian kept his eyes on AJ. There was a smug smile on his friends face. Brian didn’t mind. “Hello, Alex.”
“Hello, Brian.” AJ said smoothly.
“Uh, you guys decide on a movie?” It was all Brian could think of to ask. His brain still wasn’t working quite right. The laughter coming from the living room reminded him that they weren’t alone in the house. At any moment someone could come walking in. They hadn’t decided yet what was going to happen between them, let alone what to tell the other guys. Yet he couldn’t make himself move away.
“Yeah, they ordered Hot Tub Time Machine off of pay-per-view.”
They both rolled their eyes at the same time. A smile still curved AJ’s lips. He couldn’t resist leaning forward again for another kiss. It was slow and deep. Brian felt it straight down to his toes. His arms came up, twining around AJ’s neck. He felt AJ’s hands on his hips, sliding him closer to the edge of the counter so that they were pressed together, heat radiating between them.
Someone clearing their throat startled the two. Brian jumped, and managed to slam his head into the cupboard. AJ kept his calm a lot better. He didn’t let go of his hold on Brian’s waist. When Brian jumped away, AJ just pulled him back close again. With a smile, he looked over to the doorway where his best friend stood. “Can we help you, D?”
The corners of Howie’s mouth quirked. He looked from AJ, who was standing there between Brian’s legs and grinning, over to Brian, who was rubbing the back of his head and was blushing. “Pizza’s here.” He said, his smile growing.
AJ reached into his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, tossing it to Howie. “It’s on me this time. Use the blue card.” He said, winking at his friend. “Now can you go keep everyone busy so I can go back to kissing this blond bombshell?”
“If I must.” Howie said, faking a sigh. He winked at them both before leaving the kitchen.
With a devils grin, AJ turned back to Brian. “Now, where were we?” he asked.
Hearing AJ’s voice drop to that husky tone, where you almost felt as if he was caressing you with his words alone, Brian shivered. “Right about here.” He murmured, taking hold of AJ’s shirt and pulling him back over for another amazing kiss.