~~~~The Night Before~~~<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p> </o:p>
Shame curled in Ubayy’s stomach as he stood in the crowd of elves. His wife stood beside him, her hand held tightly in his. There had been tension between them since the moment on the training field when she’d cast off the restrictions of the Islamic religion. But the attack on him had brought them both to the realization that life was too short to fight over the silly things. What did it matter if she chose to fight when it meant that she might stay alive? He would do anything, let her do anything, if it meant keeping them alive and together.<o:p> </o:p>
There was no one who understood him as well as Nura did. No one who loved him, faults and all, the way she loved him. The Goddess had blessed him when she brought Nura into his life.<o:p> </o:p>
Her quiet strength helped him now, keeping him calm when all he wanted to do was run forward and demand that the current events be stopped. This wasn’t right. The punishment that Alyck was about to receive should belong to him, not Alyck. The man, no, the elf had done nothing wrong. Alyck was not a man; that much was clear. Maybe he had been at one point, if what Donnelly said was correct, but he was an elf now.<o:p> </o:p>
Still, even for an elf, thirty lashes with a whip was enough to cause some serious damage. Then, they were forcing him to live with those lashes all night long without touching his magic or being allowed to heal. It should have been him up there on the platform, preparing. He knew that, and the knowledge ripped him apart inside.<o:p> </o:p>
It was easy to see now, in retrospect, all that he had done wrong. They should have asked Alyck’s permission, both as the trulion and as their war leader. It was right that they were to all be punished for it. What had come at them could have destroyed everything. Ubayy gave a small shudder as he remembered the feeling of that evil inside of him, trying to take over his very soul. But, Alyck had saved him. At great risk to himself, he had dove inside and saved Ubayy’s soul as well as everyone around them.<o:p> </o:p>
In those moments that they’d been joined together, Ubayy had seen so much inside of Alyck that he hadn’t paid attention to before. Here was a soul that was clear and pure. At first, Ubayy hadn’t liked him. He could look back now and see the jealousy behind it. When they’d first arrived, he had been furious that this little long haired elf was supposed to be their leader. That he was presumptuous enough to automatically assume control of their group when they’d arrived. <o:p> </o:p>
He’d looked at him and seen only an elf, one that looked so much younger than him, who appeared to be a little full of himself. Someone who gave commands and expected them to be obeyed, even by his own partner. He’d thought that Alyck was a little power hungry, eager to control everyone and everything. Until that moment, Ubayy had been the unspoken leader of their little group. When they’d arrived, all control had been wrenched from him without even a by-your-leave.<o:p> </o:p>
Slowly but surely he’d come to see that his assumptions were off. For a while he hadn’t wanted to give them up. He’d clung to them, letting them fill him with anger, distracting him from the horror that waited for them in their future.<o:p> </o:p>
But when Alyck had been inside of him, their souls touching, so many things had become crystal clear. So many of his assumptions were dashed. He could not deny the truth when it was right before him, shining so brightly.<o:p> </o:p>
Alyck didn’t do all of this because he wanted the power. He didn’t assume control because it was what he wanted. He wasn’t full of himself, either. In fact, it seemed that the opposite was true. Alyck took control, not because he wanted it, but because he had to. He gave those commands and expected them to be obeyed because it was his duty, his right. Power wasn’t something he craved, but something that was thrust upon him. Underneath that calm exterior were doubts and fears just the same as the rest of them, only Alyck didn’t show them. He couldn’t. That wasn’t what was expected of a leader.<o:p> </o:p>
But what changed his mind most of all was the sheer love he’d felt from him. Love for his friends, his family, for nameless, faceless people that he didn’t even now. Alyck truly did care about them all. Much like a father cares for his children. Alyck felt a responsibility and love to each and every one of them, despite how he’d been treated, despite the trouble they were causing at the time, he loved them all.<o:p> </o:p>
That knowledge was staggering. It had changed Ubayy’s entire outlook. He couldn’t hold on to his anger anymore. What it left inside of him was shame that he had behaved the way he had.<o:p> </o:p>
Now this.<o:p> </o:p>
Now Alyck was up there, taking the punishment that should never be given to him. The muscles in Ubayy’s stomach clenched as he watched Alyck strip down to his breeches and bind his hair in front of him so it was off his back. What strength it took to willingly walk to a punishment that wasn’t yours. To go to it, knowing that you would be hurt, knowing that you would be denied your magic, denied even the bond that he carried with his partner.<o:p> </o:p>
A silence fell over the crowd when Alyck lifted his hands, allowing them to be chained above his head. The muscles of his back stretched with this pose, but he said nothing.<o:p> </o:p>
King Flreu’s voice rang, clear as crystal through the courtyard. “Let it begin!”<o:p> </o:p>
Nausea rose in Ubayy’s throat when he saw an elf lift a whip. The sound it made as it whistled through the air was chilling, but not as bad as the sound it made when it connected with Alyck’s back. Though he didn’t realize it, Ubayy clenched onto his wife’s hand as he watched Alyck’s body jerk. A cut blossomed on his back, bright red, but there was no pause before the next lash came down, making another line.<o:p> </o:p>
Part of Ubayy wanted to look away. As lash after lash fell, he wanted to close his eyes, to run away far enough that he wouldn’t have to hear the whistle of the whip in the air or the crack as it connected with skin. But he stood as if made of stone and watched, his eyes so dry they were burning, as lash after lash fell. In his mind he counted them.<o:p> </o:p>
On the twenty fifth lash, Alyck didn’t just jerk, a hoarse cry broke from him, making Ubayy cringe. He felt his wife’s hand jerk as she too hurt for this man. They watched as Alyck’s hands curled into fists, obviously trying to hold back any more sound. The sight of his back had Ubayy’s stomach taking another roll. The skin was barely visible underneath the blood that covered his skin. You almost couldn’t make out the individual lashes anymore; it was all a red mess.<o:p> </o:p>
Suddenly King Flreu spoke again. “It is done!”<o:p> </o:p>
The elf who held the whip dropped it, looking as if he was nauseated with himself. In the short time that they had been here, Ubayy had come to realize that the elves held Alyck in great esteem. To do this to him must have been hard.<o:p> </o:p>
Ubayy felt magic in the air, sensed the weaves of air that held Alyck up while his hands were released. In the silence of the courtyard it was easy to hear the whimper Alyck gave as his arms dropped down and his body sagged into those bonds of air. Brian leapt onto the platform, moving straight to Alyck’s side and whispering in his ear. The words were so quiet that no one could hear them. But they heard Alyck murmur “thank you” to him. Then Alyck was being lifted, held on a platform of air like it was a bed, his back lifted up toward the sky. Blood dripped from him.<o:p> </o:p>
The trainer, Shay, stepped up to Brian, asking him softly “Where do we take him to, Brian?”<o:p> </o:p>
“I’m carrying him down to the cells.” Brian said in a voice tight with anger. His tri-colored eyes flashed in the fading light. “Have blankets sent for me as well as mortal salve. The King said he could be tended in mortal ways. Put this stuff in the guard room off to the side of the cells.” <o:p> </o:p>
“The guardroom?”<o:p> </o:p>
Brian spoke again, almost hissing with his fury. “I do not want them to see him, nor do I want him to see them, but I want the prisoners to hear him. I want them to know what he suffers for them so that they full understand this. Let them bear the night with him.”<o:p> </o:p>
It seemed fitting, what Brian decreed. The shame of it all had Ubayy bowing his head. For the first time since it had started, he broke eye contact with Alyck’s back.<o:p> </o:p>
All around him he heard his friends weeping softly. It didn’t surprise him to feel the wetness trailing down his own cheeks. When Shay stepped over to them, gesturing for the group to follow him, Ubayy moved silently, still holding his wife’s hand. He couldn’t get the image of Alyck’s back out of his mind; couldn’t get the sound of his single scream from his ears.<o:p> </o:p>
He paid no attention to where his steps carried him. Instead, he simply let his wife lead him to where he needed to go, trusting that she would guide him. When they stopped, he barely realized that they were in a prison of some sort. His eyes traveled over a row of cells. So, this was where they were to stay the night at. The punishment seemed far too easy for this kind of transgression.<o:p> </o:p>
Nura turned toward Shay, her cheeks streaked with tears. “I am sorry.” She said shakily. “We will take our punishment, all of us, but we are so sorry. Please, let the trulion know this. We did not want him to suffer this pain for us.”<o:p> </o:p>
For the first time since they had met him, Ubayy looked at Shay’s white eyes and saw fury there. It was fury fed by pain, but that only made it more potent. “You cannot even begin to comprehend what he has done for you.” He spat at them. His compact frame seemed to tremble with his emotions. “Not just the physical pain, but the mental as well.<o:p> </o:p>
“The greatness that is in that man, you will never begin to understand. He has been through much in his almost four thousand years. He has survived things in the last year alone that would have destroyed lesser men. He and Brian both were imprisoned by Rothalo, held by a weave that took over their bodies completely.”<o:p> </o:p>
Rothalo was a name that Ubayy knew, though he had realized before that the others did not. The crimes that Rothalo had committed had been many. There had also been rumors that Rothalo had been destroyed. Donnelly had confirmed it. He’d said that Brian and Alyck had fought him; that Alyck had killed him.<o:p> </o:p>
As Shay continued to speak, the pain in Ubayy’s heart grew and grew. The things that Shay described, the weave that had been placed on the men, was an affront to nature. What they had endured, Ubayy didn’t know if he could have lived through. When Shay spoke of how Alyck had traded himself for Brian, knowing what he was stepping into, just because it would save the life of the one he loved; Ubayy dropped his head down and wept.<o:p> </o:p>
Imagine the pain the man must have lived with! The atrocities that Shay described were beyond Ubayy’s comprehension. How on earth had they survived it? He could see, so painfully clear, the extent of what Alyck had done today. He’d not only taken on a punishment that was not his to have to live with, but he had done it knowing that he would endure some of the same style pain that he had already lived through. What thoughts must have run through his mind, strapped up there, shielded and unable to break free! Now, to be left alone with the pain all night long, unable to touch his magic, unable to heal….Goddess!<o:p> </o:p>
When Shay’s explanation was finished, the room was quiet for a moment. Then, “You’ll hear him tonight, as Brian decreed. Think of this as you listen to him cry, as you listen to the pain and the madness war inside of him. Listen, and know that you caused this. You are at fault, all of you. Think on how he willingly took this onto himself. He didn’t have to, you know.”<o:p> </o:p>
“But, he said…” Crisanto’s voice broke off, unable to finish the thought.<o:p> </o:p>
Shay cut him off with a slash of his hand. “He didn’t have to do that. No one would have faulted him for allowing Ubayy, or any of you, to take this punishment. But he honestly believes in his role and he takes it to heart. To him, he deserved this for not teaching you better. He took your punishment willingly onto himself, though no other would have enforced it. Think on that, while you spend your night here. Think on how you have treated this man and yet, still, he does this for you.”<o:p> </o:p>
They were silent as they were led to their cells. Ubayy gave his wife one last, tear-filled look before they were separated. The sound of the door shutting behind him barely penetrated through the cloud of guilt. Dear God, what had he done? What had he caused here? This was his fault. Goddess, but all of this was his fault!<o:p> </o:p>
Sound came outside the cell, footsteps as elves moved toward the guardroom. Ubayy knelt in the center of his cell, bowing his head down and wrapping his arms around his waist. He stayed that way, trying to find a way through the guilt and the hurt.<o:p> </o:p>
That was when the first sound ripped through the air. A guttural cry tore at his ears. The sound was filled with pain, physical and mental both. There was no doubt where that came from. The tears in Ubayy’s eyes fell harder and faster. His hearing seemed to be stronger; he had no problems hearing the next words that came from the room. He had no idea that Shay had made a weave to magnify the sound from the guardroom so that it was almost like it was right outside each cell. Shay wanted to make sure they all heard and understood.<o:p> </o:p>
“Brian…” Alyck’s voice was a gasp, tight with pain and with fear. “You’ve got to go.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Go? Honey, I’m right here. I’m staying with you.” Brian’s voice, soothing, gentle.<o:p> </o:p>
“No!”<o:p> </o:p>
Alyck’s cry startled Ubayy so that he jumped slightly. But he stayed in the bowed down position. It was right that he heard this. Brian had been right in insisting that they listen to this pain. It wouldn’t take away from what he had caused, no, not at all. But the pain that it put into Ubayy’s heart seemed fitting. Every moment that Alyck hurt, they all deserved to hear it. Alyck was right; they were but children before him. Ubayy knew he would have to live a long time to even come close to feeling the amount of pain that Alyck’s voice carried.<o:p> </o:p>
After a long pause, Brian’s soft voice came. “Heart song, I can’t leave you. I’m going to take care of you. We’re all taking care of you.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Please, go. Please! Before he comes back.”<o:p> </o:p>
There was no confusion as to what Alyck was talking about. Everything that Shay had said flooded into his mind. Alyck thought he was back under Rothalo’s care. Sweet Goddess, what had they done to this man? To make him have to endure that kind of fear again, it wasn’t right!<o:p> </o:p>
He missed what Brian said first, but then he heard him cry “Please, baby, lay down. Please! You’re going to hurt yourself!”<o:p> </o:p>
A small sob slid past Ubayy’s lips as he listened to the struggle in the next room. Obviously Alyck was trying to escape; trying to free himself and his lover. How could he even stand to move? Thirty lashes and still he was apparently putting up a good struggle to try and get free!<o:p> </o:p>
The next sound he heard sent a shiver down his spine. Alyck was shrieking, a wild sound that no being should ever make. “No! No more! No more!” Then another shriek, and another, each one sounding even more raw than the last. Those shrieks broke into huge sobs that sounded as if they choked him as they came out.<o:p> </o:p>
Ubayy squeezed his eyes shut, rocking back and forth in his spot. His heart seemed to beat in time with those sobs. Not even the evil that he had brought inside him with the scrying had hurt like this did. This was a pain that ripped not only his heart and soul, but his mind and his very center. Each sob was like a knife, slashing him inside and out. This was his fault. This was his fault. Over and over that repeated in his mind.<o:p> </o:p>
Vaguely he heard Brian murmuring words that were meant to soothe. Then Alyck’s voice, like that of a child. “Please, it hurts. Make it stop.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Oh, honey, I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t.”<o:p> </o:p>
“It hurts so much.”<o:p> </o:p>
The tears on Ubayy’s cheeks flowed faster and faster.<o:p> </o:p>
Another voice joined the mix, one that he thought was the King. “You are at my home, grandson.” he said. “I promise you that you and your heart song are safe. Nothing shall hurt you while you are here.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Grandfather?”<o:p> </o:p>
“Yes. I am here. All of us that live in this home are here. Your Aunt Radha and Cousin Aine. Uncle Tadhg and Aunt Leusha are here as well. As are Shay and Brian.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Brian? He’s safe too?”<o:p> </o:p>
“Yes. Your heart song is safe.”<o:p> </o:p>
That started a period of quiet. Occasionally Ubayy heard a whimper or a soft cry, but it was always soothed down by Brian. Was it possible for one being to endure this much pain and still be sane when it was done? When morning came around would there still be enough left of Alyck’s mind or would this be the straw that broke the camel’s back?<o:p> </o:p>
If they were responsible, if he was responsible for destroying this man, this great man that had already lived through so much, then the Goddess take him for the crime.<o:p> </o:p>
Time lost all meaning. Ubayy had no clue how long he was there, how many hours passed. All time was judged by the sound of the other room. Each time that Alyck cried, Ubayy cried with him. Then the silence would come back, leaving him with his thoughts, his mind flaying him where he knelt. A scream broke the silence next, sharp and jagged as glass.<o:p> </o:p>
Ubayy rocked faster. Another scream, followed by another. Always accompanied by Brian’s soothing murmurs, trying to keep Alyck calm.<o:p> </o:p>
At one point, when things had been quiet for so long, Ubayy heard Alyck cry out and the words tore the last part of his heart to shreds.<o:p> </o:p>
“Please!” Alyck shrieked suddenly. “Please, stop! I can’t do it anymore, I can’t!<o:p> </o:p>
Brian’s voice was instantly there. “Song of my heart, I’m right here. You’re doing so well. It’s almost over, my love.”<o:p> </o:p>
“It hurts so much. It always hurts. I always hurt.” Sobs, broken and trembling. “Everything always hurts. What did I do? Why am I being punished?” The way he spoke made it clear that he wasn’t referring to this whipping, but to his life. Ubayy wished he could stopper his ears but still he stayed motionless and listened. “It’s always my fault. Roth hurt so many because of me. He hurt you, because of me. I lost Isleen…” Another sob, more painful than the last. Then, one word, “Howi.” But that one word was repeated like a litany, interrupted by small sobs and whimpers.<o:p> </o:p>
The tone to Brian’s voice suggested that he was trying to soothe AJ and, after a while, it seemed to work. Things were quiet again, longer this time.<o:p> </o:p>
But it didn’t stay quiet. There was the sound of movement followed by a hoarse cry. “Stop!” Alyck shouted. Panic and madness tinted his voice. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, don’t hurt me anymore. Please! Let me go!”<o:p> </o:p>
“I can’t, heart song. Goddess knows I want to, but I can’t.”<o:p> </o:p>
“Just let me go. Just let me go!”<o:p> </o:p>
So the night went. When all sound suddenly stopped, Ubayy barely noticed. He was still in the same position, still bent at the waist, kneeling on the hard ground. His knees hurt, but he welcomed the pain. What did the small sores compare to the pain that he had caused another? The pain of not touching his magic was nothing. The emptiness it left couldn’t compare to the emptiness he felt inside at knowing that he was the cause of this kind of pain.<o:p> </o:p>
When the door to his cell suddenly opened, Ubayy did not move. He didn’t think that he could. A gentle hand touched his shoulder, moving to his chin to tilt his head up. Shay was looking down on him and his face was gentle. Those eyes, eyes that saw more than any other, seemed to hold a great amount of compassion. “Come, Ubayy. You are released.” He said softly.<o:p> </o:p>
It was tempting to stay there. One night didn’t seem enough, not for his crime. But Shay’s touch and his eyes seemed to be drawing Ubayy upwards until he found himself standing on his feet. Listless, he allowed himself to be led from the cell.<o:p> </o:p>
He didn’t pay any attention as the others joined him in the outer room of the prison. Even when his wife touched his hand, Ubayy stayed still. He lifted his gaze to look, eyes unerringly going straight to Alyck. He feared that he would see someone broken by the pain of the night, but what he found was not what he suspected. <o:p> </o:p>
Alyck stood in just his breeches, spine straight, chin lifted, tri-colored eyes glowing faintly. “The first part of your punishment is complete.” He spoke softly. His voice seemed to echo in the room. “You’ve gone the night without food, water, or magic. Because you’ve made it through the night without complaint or troubles, I grant you one moment here, before us, to embrace your magic and soothe your bodies. But only a moment.”<o:p> </o:p>
Because it sounded more like an order than an offer, Ubayy did as he was instructed. He embraced that part of himself without really caring at all. Though the magic filled him, heightening his senses as it always did, he didn’t gain the usual joy from it. Instead, it felt as if it made his pain stronger; that hole in his heart wider.<o:p> </o:p>
When Alyck gently said “Enough” it was easy for Ubayy to let the magic go. He wanted the numbness back. He didn’t want to feel. But, looking into Alyck’s eyes, he knew he could do nothing else but feel.<o:p> </o:p>
The conversation around him seemed to drift over him like water, none of it making any sense. Only when Nura took his hand and pulled him forward did he start to move. He followed her up the stairs, not knowing where they were going and not caring. It seemed as if the sounds of Alyck’s broken screams seemed to still echo up after him, a haunting sound he knew would plague his nightmares for a long time to come.<o:p> </o:p>