Brian laughed to himself as he watched AJ open the car door and let the puppy out. Apparently he was going to have to invest in one of those pooper scoopers. That’s ok. It was totally worth it. Seeing the smile on AJ’s face made Brian feel good inside. With everything that had been going on, he felt that giving this gift to AJ was almost a way of his saying thank you. Something positive to offset all the hard things in their life at the moment. What better way than to introduce a puppy into their lives? Something that spoke of commitment. Of a future.
Standing alongside the car, Brian watched as AJ played with the dog, rushing around the front yard and laughing like a loon. The puppy was only 14 weeks old, and only ten pounds. But it romped through the yard jumping on AJ with all the energy of any kid. While they played Brian took the puppy stuff into the house and set them up in the bedroom. There was no way he was going to make a puppy sleep anywhere else in that big house. In their room with the crate would work just fine.
He took time to set it up, and put in the large dog pillow that he’d bought. The crate had a divider that he stuck in the middle since the puppy was small. As it grew he could take the divider out and it would be the right size for an adult husky. Next he took the dishes downstairs and set them up in the kitchen, with the dog food under the counter. He filled one bowl with water and put a scoop of food in the dish for when they came in. Then he set out to find his partner.
AJ was sitting in the front yard, the dog in his lap licking at his neck. For just a moment Brian stood there and looked. The smile on AJ’s face was almost childlike in its joy. Without realizing it he found himself smiling the same way as he walked over and sat down beside them. Instantly AJ leaned into him and kissed him. “She’s beautiful, snuggles. I can’t thank you enough. She just looked so happy in the store, and then so sad. No one wanted her.”
The silly nickname has Brian chuckling. AJ usually only called him that when he was worried about him, or in a sweet mood. “I’m glad you like her. You think of a name yet?”
“Not yet. I’ve just been calling her niña for now. It just means little girl.” At the sound of the word the dog made a little half howl sound and started to lick at him again. Brian reached a hand out to stroke over her soft head. She instantly arched into it, rubbing her head against his hand in a loving way. “I think she may have chosen her own name, honey. Nina.”
“I think you’re right.” AJ agreed. Anytime they said it she reacted to it. He laid back on the ground, allowing her to sit on his chest. Brian stretched out beside him. They stayed like that, enjoying the sun that was peeking through the clouds for a moment in time.
A small smile curved AJ’s lips as he brought one hand up to cup Brian’s face. “Tú eres mi todo. Te amo. No voy a perder.” He mumbled. The look in his eyes was soft. It cut straight through to Brian’s heart. So did the words. He had no idea what they meant, but AJ knew that, and knew how much he loved hearing him speak in Spanish. “You know what that does to me.” Brian whispered back to him.
This time AJ’s grin was naughtier. He raised up on one arm, Nina moving to lie down between them and chew on her own foot, and he put his mouth by Brian’s ear. “Necesito sentir tu cuerpo en las minas. Me muero de ganas. Quiero hacerte el amor.”
Brian shivered, feeling himself start to grow hard. Just as he was about to lean in, the sound of cars came from down the driveway. Both men groaned as they pulled back. AJ scooped Nina up in his arms and rose to his feet beside Brian. “I’ll take her in the house and put her in her crate for a while so we can get the beds put together.”
“Ok, babe. I’ll get them started.”
Halfway to the house, AJ turned back around for just a moment. “Later.” Was all he said as he winked and continued inside. Brian just laughed to himself while he waited for the delivery trucks to pull up.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hours later everything was done in the house. The beds were put up, sheets and blankets put on them. The dressers and nightstands were in as well, and the lamps that they’d purchases were put on the nightstands. They were downstairs in the kitchen making something to eat when the text came in that the guys had landed at the airport. Within forty five minutes to an hour they would be at the house.
Since he was just throwing together an easy chili, Brian just doubled his ingredients and left the pot on simmer. Nina was lying down by the back door chewing on a bone that Brian had bought when he’d bought her. All the energy they’d seen in her at the store had been honest. She was an energetic puppy. But already it was obvious that she loved them both to pieces, though her love seemed special for AJ. She wouldn’t be in a room without him.
AJ sat on the counter, his legs dangling over the side, his back against the wall. They had been discussing the next day when the text had come in. Once Brian was done replying with his address, AJ continued where they had left off.
“I don’t understand what you mean with this, Bri. You don’t want me to stay at the hospital with you?” AJ asked him. Confusion had his eyebrows drawing down. “Where else would I be?”
“Alex, I’m going to have a steady stream of visitors with the guys here. I need you to help me keep them out of the room a ton, and the only way to do that is to keep them here, or show them around Portland. There’s going to be nothing to do in the room anyway.”
“You’ll be there. That’s good enough for me.”
“What about Nina?” Brian countered.
AJ just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Howie will stay with her. You know how he is about hospitals anyways. He can do visits, but he doesn’t do well staying. I mean, I can respect that they won’t allow me to be in there with you all day. Plus, afterwards they’ll probably keep you drugged a lot so you won’t really know we’re there anyways. But I plan on being there as much as I can, Brian.”
“But if I’m out of it, what’s the point? It’s not like I’ll really know you’re there!”
“Your trick of shutting me out isn’t going to work, Brian. You won’t keep me from you just because you’re scared. I love you and I want to be right by your side before they take you back, and when they bring you back to us. You may be scared, and hell, you might even be terrified of being all weak in front of me, but that’s not going to stop be from being there, or from caring.”
In just a few sentences AJ had cut to the heart of things. Feeling defeated, Brian stepped between his legs and into those warm arms. Here, with his head buried against AJ’s bare chest, he could admit what he was feeling
“I am scared, baby. I’m scared of the surgery; I’m scared of not waking up. But after that I’m terrified of going through that weakness again. The pain, and the moving slow, and the not being able to do anything. I’m so scared I’m going to let myself depend on you, and you’ll realize what a burden I’ll be. I can do it alone. I’ve done it. But, God, this time I don’t want to. I want to lean on you. I want to just let myself go and not have to worry. But I don’t know how.”
AJ’s arms held him tighter. “We’ll figure it out together. I’m not going to be here to stop you from doing things, or to take over. I’m here to hold you up when you need, to step back when you need me to, and to do whatever is necessary. I love you, Brian Thomas Littrell, and you better remember that.”
They stayed like that, wrapped in one another’s arms for how long, Brian didn’t know. He just relished in the feeling of his partners strength and warmth.
It surprised the both of them when they heard two cars honking their way up the drive. Either the guys drove fast, or they’d been standing together like that for longer than they realized.
Nina took off toward the front door raising a cry of alarm as the horns continued. The two men laughed as they headed toward the entry way. The cars were parking just as they opened the door. Nina shot out on the porch, standing at the top of the stairs and barking her head off.
Kevin climbed out of a blue SUV while Nick and Howie got out of mercury sable. There was laughter and grins all around as they headed toward the porch. Unsure of who they were, Nina alternated between barking and growling the closer that they got.
Stepping forward, AJ told her “Nina, alto!” Stop. She looked up at him but she stopped growling.
“Got yourself a Spanish speaking dog since we saw you last?” Nick joked as he wrapped AJ in a bear hug and spun him around. AJ just laughed and punched Nick’s arm when he was back on the ground. “She understands it, I guess. We just got her today.”
A smile spread on Howie’s face as he squatted down. Nina ran to him, sniffing at his hands for a few minutes. Howie muttered in Spanish to her, and soon he stood with her in his arms. Her tail wagged happily and she let out a bark to let them all know how pleased she was. “A right family you’re building up here, AJ.” He teased as he gave his best friend a one armed hug.
By then Nick had made his way to Brian and picked him up off the porch for a spinning hug of his own. “Put me down you giant!” he joked. Once he had his feet he gave them all a wide grin. “I’ve got chili on the stove. If you can find the kitchen, you can find your dishes. Help yourselves. We’ll get you settled in your rooms later.”
The crowd moved their way in the front door, AJ in the lead to show them the way. But Brian saw that Kevin was hanging back, so he slowed his step and stayed on the front porch, waiting for his cousin to catch up.
The look on Kevin’s face was a mixture of embarrassment and guilt. He stepped awkwardly up to Brian. He’d never really been good with apologies, especially when he’d messed up so badly. “Bri…” he began, then stopped to swallow the lump in his throat.
A smile lit Brian’s face. He didn’t speak but instead stepped forward and wrapped Kevin in a bear hug. After an instants hesitation he felt Kevin return the hug with his strong grip. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered against Brian’s hair.
“I already forgave you, cos. I was never really mad to begin with.”
The two pulled back to give one another tremulous smiles. “I was an ass.” Kevin admitted. “I overreacted, and that was stupid. Any idiot can see how much you two mean to one another. He’ll be good for you, Brian.”
“He already is.”
Together the two moved to walk into the house. Kevin had a wry smile on his face. “I don’t think an apology is going to cover it with AJ. I already did that, but I get the feeling he’s still not happy.”
Brian spared his cousin a look that was both amused and exasperated, though neither was directed at Kevin. “He’s a bit protective of me, if you haven’t noticed. I’m sure he’ll be on his best behavior, though. If he said he accepted your apology then he did. But I will warn you, in his eyes I can see him thinking that sorry was said, but trust can take a bit to earn back.”
“I can respect that.” This time Kevin’s smile reached to his eyes. “So tell me why I’ve never seen this house before? It’s the most gorgeous home I’ve seen in a long time!”
They were stepping in the kitchen as they said that, so everyone heard them. AJ instantly piped up from where he was, yet again, sitting on the counter and eating a bowl of chili. “I know! I saw this place and I just fell in love.” He gestured with his fork at the kitchen around them. “I mean, look at this kitchen. It’s fucking awesome.”
Howie was leaning against the counter by AJ while Nick sat on the ground with his back to the pantry that was opposite them. Belatedly Brian realized they had no table or chairs. No one seemed to care as they all happily ate their chili. Brian grabbed two bowls to serve him and Kevin as the conversation continued behind him.
“It’s almost like a perfect mix of your at home tastes, Bri, and your gothic style taste, Age. Where’d you two find this?” Howie asked them.
Brian looked over his shoulder as he handed Kevin his bowl and spoon. “Actually I bought this before AJ and I ever got together. It’s just been sitting here. I guess a part of me knew this would be home, you know?”
At that moment Nina came tearing in, making straight for Nick’s lap. She sat down in front of his legs and stared at his bowl as she made the little whining sounds that had them all laughing. “Nina!” AJ called out. “No mendigar. No begging!”
After a look around at them all, Nina looked like she sighed before she moved to chew her bone by the back door again.
It was Nick who brought up the topic that so far they had all avoided. He waited until they were done eating before he spoke up. “So, catch us up on what the plan is for tomorrow. What’s going on?”
Tension was tight in Brian’s shoulders as he finished rinsing his bowl out in the sink. He laid it out to dry on the towel he had on the counter, and moved back over by AJ before he answered. “I go in tomorrow so they can keep me in the hospital for a few days, get my medication regulated in my system, make sure I don’t have any infections, all of that stuff. I have to be in pretty good health for them to do the surgery. Once they know I’m ok, we’ll schedule a time.”
“Is there any big risks since you’ve had this done before?” Howie asked quietly.
AJ’s arms came up, wrapping around Brian’s chest, under his arms, and he bent his head down so that his chin rested on Brian’s shoulder. “A few.” He answered for his love. “Mostly around the scar tissue that they’re cutting through. But other than this hole he’s in damn good shape, so Dr. Lorry said that’s on our side. It’ll make the surgery easier and recovery faster.”
Mentioning recovery reminded Brian of something he wanted to ask. “What’s going on with management?” He turned to look at his cousin.
Kevin actually wore a smile. “They don’t really have a choice on this one, and they didn’t really bitch about it either. All that matters to them is you take care of this and heal. The time line isn’t that big a deal to them. We already gave a statement to the press, though we did let a ‘leak’ say that you’d be getting the surgery done on the east coast.”
Laughter echoed through the kitchen. It was broken only by yawns from both Howie and Nick. Seeing those, the host in Brian kicked in. “We can all talk about this in the morning. You guys just flew in. Why don’t you grab your bags and we’ll show you your rooms.”