By the time the two grabbed their bags back up and headed down to Kevin’s room, AJ had worked his way back to a roaring temper. At the same time, Brian’s temper had cooled down to a calmness that surprised AJ. “How can you be so relaxed about all of this?” AJ demanded.
Brian looked at him and shrugged before he knocked on Kevin’s door. “Because it doesn’t matter.” He said simply. At AJ’s curious look, Brian smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “None of what they say is going to matter. I’m not breaking up with you. I love you. So what does it matter what they say?”
Part of AJ’s heart seemed to swell up. The simple, straightforward way that Brian said it made it that much more powerful. He wasn’t arguing it, or debating their options, or anything. Not a single doubt sat in his eyes. “You know, despite the fact that you’re an annoying little brat sometimes, Littrell, I love you.”
The door opened as AJ was speaking, revealing a chuckling Kevin. For a moment Brian ignored him so that he could roll his eyes at AJ. “Despite the fact that you’re an overbearing kid who’s prone to temper tantrums I think I love you too, Mclean.”
Kevin put a hand over his heart. “You two are so sweet it brings tears to my eyes.” He said mockingly.
The couple gave him a grin. Stepping back, Kevin let them into the room. His smile faded when he saw that AJ and Brian had their bags. “So, it’s true then?” he asked quietly.
“What’s true?” Nick piped up from where he sat on the bed. Down at the foot of the bed Howie was reading a stack of papers. He put them down and looked over as everyone settled into the room. AJ shut the door behind him, scowling at it, his temper returning some. “That the fucking bitch from management was in our fucking room and told us that they’re putting us in separate rooms and on separate busses now.” He snapped out as he turned back around.
“What?” Howie and Nick exclaimed together, sitting up to better be able to look at them.
Smiling, Brian took one of the chairs by the table and sat down, getting comfortable, while Kevin sat in the other. With his smile still in place, Brian prepared to sit back and watch AJ in high temper. Despite the situation, he did so love to watch AJ when he was pissed. He was so damn hot then.
He didn’t have long to wait. AJ felt all his anger coming back as he thought about the conversation with Ms. Carla Taylor. “We got to our fucking room and this ice queen bitch was there. She’s from the lawyer part of The Firm. Said management had found out about Bri and I and they want to nip this problem in the bud. She basically told us we couldn’t be together.” He seethed.
“They can’t do that!” Howie exclaimed angrily. His features darkened with his annoyance. “They have no right to do that to the two of you and no legal ground to stand on.”
AJ gave Howie a dry look. “Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” he asked sarcastically. Hands thrust into his pockets, he started to pace. “We told her to go to hell basically and she said that management had figured we wouldn’t cooperate so they’re putting him and I in separate rooms and on separate busses and as far away from one another as possible. If we don’t listen to that, well…” This part was the one that burned the worst with AJ. “…she threatened to put some things out in the media that won’t hurt the band but would hurt me. Things about, well, stuff I did when I was a kid.”
Absently he rubbed at the scar on his stomach. He caught the flash of sadness in Brian’s eyes as well as a deep burning love. It warmed him straight through. He’d been so afraid that Brian would hate him for what he told him. That he would really look at him this time and see that little punk. But he hadn’t. He’d held him and loved him anyways.
Howie’s face grew even darker while Nick and Kevin’s were confused looking. The only other person in the world who knew his past, aside from his Ma, was Howie. It gave AJ a dark satisfaction to watch Howie slowly rise from the bed, his face a thunderhead. “She threatened you?” he asked in a cold voice. No matter how many years went by, Howie never could seem to get over his older-brother-protective thing.
“She did.” Brian interjected. His calm expression was gone, replaced with an anger that was hard and hot.
AJ automatically moved toward Brian without even thinking about it. He put a hand on Brian’s shoulder in a gesture meant to soothe at the same time that he looked at Howie. “She basically said she’d put my past out there in the tabloids. It’d only make us sell more on their end, pumping up the bad boy image. But on my end it would, well, you know.”
“How the hell do they know that stuff? How could this bitch find out about it?” Howie seethed.
While everyone was talking, Nick and Kevin were simply sitting quietly, looking back and forth between them all as they tried to make sense of things. For a moment, AJ forgot they were even there. “It’s not like I legally changed my name. I still had the same last name; I just went by a different first name. Really, it’s not that big a leap that they found out. What surprises me sometimes is that no one else ever has.”
Howie ran a hand through his hair while giving a lusty sigh. “What business is it of theirs what happened to you before?”
A hand on AJ’s shirt hem caught his attention. He looked down into Brian’s warm face. “Yeah, hon?”
“I take it he knows?”
For a second AJ looked at him, his mind still off in another direction. Then Brian’s question clicked. “Oh! Yeah. He and I had met a few times. Actually, once I was, well, once I became Xander, I actually kicked Howie’s ass once.”
That had Howie both rolling his eyes and chuckling. “Do you have to tell everyone, Age?” he asked him jokingly. “It wasn’t my proudest moment in life. Sixteen and getting beaten up by an eleven year old scrawny kid that moved like a snake.”
Apparently, that was the line that Kevin drew. He raised his hands, holding them out to either side of him. “Wait a second, just wait.” He boomed out, catching their attention. “I knew about the room switches and such, though I didn’t know why. But now this here with threats. What is it that you’re talking about that’s so bad for them to put in the papers, AJ?”
At first AJ wanted to tell him to mind his own fucking business. But he knew that, if it was put in the papers, his friends should hear it from him. So he took a deep breath and looked at Kevin and Nick, avoiding looking at Brian or Howie because he knew they would have sympathy in their eyes. He didn’t want to be soft as he said this.
Tense as he was, he didn’t even realize that his grip on Brian’s shoulder had tightened. “I got involved in gangs and drugs when I was a kid. Selling, using, that kind of stuff. Vandalism, theft, jumping kids. But I got my act together and I straightened up. But the little punk ass kid I was back then was a horrible fucking shit and to have people talking about him would only hurt my Ma and put things out that I long left buried.”
Instead of the softness he’d shown earlier, Brian looked up at AJ now with his eyes snapping a little. “He was a misguided kid, Age. Quit talking about yourself like that. He’s a part of you, and he made some mistakes. He doesn’t deserve your hatred.”
“He was a punk ass little mother fucker who had a head too big for his hats. He died that night in the streets, and that’s where he deserved to be.” AJ snapped back at him angrily.
“Died?” Nick asked quietly.
Suddenly furious, AJ spun away and paced to the window. Why the fuck did he have to talk to them about this? What business was it of anyone? He had a right to some fucking privacy, didn’t he? The right to keep some things secret. It was one thing to tell the man he loved. It was another thing to spill it out to his friends and to have it poured out in the tabloids.
But dammit, he didn’t want it hitting the papers and ruining not only his life, but his mother’s. He didn’t want his friends to read about everything he’d done wrong and make their judgments based on what they read. That only left the option of telling them all, which was the last fucking thing he wanted to do.
Because of that, he was furious when he spun to them all. Though it wasn’t their fault, his temper poured out on them. “I turned in to Xander back then, as everyone called me. Xander was a no account punk who stole and lied and did drugs and sold drugs. Xander was a shit to his mother and everyone else. He held up a convenience store, and beat the shit out of other kids for no fucking reason. He wasn’t worth shit. He went out with people he thought were friends to jump some other little punks over a fucking turf war and watched a friend get his head smashed in and pounded some kids head into the cement. He got stabbed and left to die on the ground when the cops came.”
He dimly heard Kevin and Nick gasp in shock, but he was beyond caring about them. He was so fucking furious that it hazed his vision. “He deserved to die on that street. He deserved every fucking bit of it. He did die out there. When I came to in the hospital, that’s how I thought of it. Xander was dead but AJ wasn’t. I’m not that little fucker anymore. I’m me, and dammit, I’m not going to let them just throw this shit out there for the whole fucking world to see! I won’t!”
Even in the haze of his anger he saw Brian rise from his chair and recognized the angry look to his lover’s face. “Won’t let them?” Brian demanded as he clenched his hands into fists by his sides. “What’re you going to do about it, AJ? It’s not like you can stop them.”
“I don’t care what I have to do!” AJ screamed back at him.
“You don’t care? So, what, you’ll leave me?” Stepping closer, Brian put himself toe to toe with AJ. Neither of them paid attention to the audience they had around them. “That’s the only way to keep them from doing it and you know it. So what, to save your little pride you’ll break things off with me just when we got them worked out and going good?”
“That’s not what I said!”
“You said you don’t care what you have to do!”
AJ glowered at him and straightened his spine. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t care if this was you and they wanted to put your private shit out there for the whole fucking world to see?” He poked a finger into Brian’s chest to make his point.
Instantly Brian swatted his hand away. “I’m telling you that if you back away from me because you don’t want people to know that when you were eleven you were stupid than you’re even stupider now, and a coward to boot!”
The word coward had AJ roaring in rage. He put his hands on Brian’s shoulders and pushed him back a step. “Back the fuck off me you little shit!” he shouted at him. “How dare you call me a fucking coward? I’m not a coward! I never fucking said I was breaking up with you!”
“Well you could have fooled me!” Brian snapped at him. He stepped right back to where he was so that they were toe to toe and eye to eye.
“Fuck off, Littrell! You’re fucking stuck with me and that’s all the fuck there is to it! No smarmy little cock sucking fuckers are going to keep me from being with you. You’re mine and they can just fucking deal with it!”
Over on the sidelines, Nick leaned toward Howie to whisper “You know, when Bri called and let us know they fixed things, that they said ‘I love you’ and such that the fighting might stop a little.”
“Yeah right.” Howie scoffed. It warmed his heart to watch the couple fight. He was happy to see AJ with someone that was going to be able to handle him and his temper. If Brian had been as easy going as he had used to be, then he and AJ never would have lasted. But Howie could see that Brian really did stand up to AJ and he held his own. He wouldn’t let AJ walk all over him. In the end, AJ would respect Brian for his temper way more than he would if Brian had been meek with him.
Right then, AJ wasn’t feeling very respectful. He was pissed and ready to hit something. But Brian took the edge off his temper by suddenly smiling a fierce smile and reaching up to lightly stroke his cheek. “Good.” He whispered to AJ. “Now that that’s settled, can we figure out the rest of it and get to bed?”
For a moment AJ just stared at him. Then, in one move, all his temper drained out of him and he had to laugh. “You sneaky little shit.” He said it lovingly. “You pissed me off just to make me realize that, didn’t you?”
“Mm, I’m not telling.” Brian said with a twinkle to his eyes.
AJ leaned forward and kissed him. “Shit head.”
“Jerk.”
Now that things were resolved, AJ let himself step forward to face the others again. He felt Brian move beside him and instinctively wrapped an arm around his waist. “Ok, now that I’m done being pissed, I guess we should talk about things.” He said.
For a moment the three friends stared at them. It was Kevin who finally answered. “I don’t really think there’s anything to talk about.” He admitted with a shrug. When all eyes turned to him, he gave them a curious look. “What? We can’t let management dictate our lives like this. They don’t get to say who we do or don’t date, or what gender they are. There’s nothing to really talk about. So they switched the names on the rooms? Does that mean we really have to live by what they say? We’ll just switch keys at each hotel and let the guys be together. Same with the bus. We’ll just rearrange it to suit us. They can’t force us to ride on one particular bus, even if they schedule it a certain way.”
Amazement had AJ’s eyes going wide. He looked to Brian, who was smiling peacefully, and back to Kevin. “Really?” he found himself asking. Surprise was in his voice. “I mean…you mean it? You guys would do that?”
“Well, yeah.” Howie said.
“Duh.” From Nick.
“Of course.” Kevin said with a roll of his eyes. “God, Age, give us some credit. We’re not real jerks. You two want to be together. So, be together. Doesn’t matter to us.” To put action to words, he picked up their bags and gave them back to them. “Keep the room you were given at first. Who cares what they think? If this story comes out, Age, oh well. We’ll still stick by your side. I dare anyone to say anything about what you did as a kid to any one of us. We won’t tolerate management being dicks, and we won’t tolerate it from anyone else.”
Words clogged in AJ’s throat. He couldn’t get them past the lump that was suddenly there. Finally he managed to clear his throat and croak out a “Thank you.”
His lover leaned in close, tipping his head to whisper in AJ’s ear. “Are we done with the heavy stuff for now?” he asked him so quietly that the others couldn’t hear. “Watching you in a temper always makes me want to do things that I don’t think the others want to watch.”
Heat flashed through AJ. He turned to look into Brian’s eyes which were smoldering with that blue fire that he loved so much. A corner of his mouth quirked a little. “It does, does it?” he murmured.
“Mm hm.” Brian replied.
After a moments contemplation, AJ took Brian’s hand in his and gave the guys a huge grin. “Ok, well, now that that’s settled we’re going to leave you guys and go break in the beds.” He announced as he moved to the door. “Catch you later!”
Amidst the laughter of his friends, AJ yanked his boyfriend out the door and down the hall to their room.