*April 23rd, 2002*
*California*
A light breeze blew through the tent that had been erected earlier in the day. Laughter echoed around the group of people, and echoed over from the tent that wasn’t too far away. It was a day of happiness, AJ thought to himself. A day of love and celebration. It was the day he was going to marry the man he loved in front of all their family and friends.
He looked around his tent and couldn’t help but smile. The people he loved were with him; the sun was shining down. Even over the laughter and the conversation they could still hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore.
The tents had been Brian’s idea. Big enough to house a crowd for each of them, as well as all the things necessary to change and prepare. Since their wedding was outside they didn’t have little rooms to prep in before meeting in the aisle. So Brian had come up with the idea of these beautiful white tents. Most everything else had been planned by Jackie. She had loved every second of being the wedding planner. Since that day that they had come to Brian’s parent’s house to mend the fences, the Littrell’s had adopted AJ into their family like there had never been any problems.
Right then Jackie was busy fussing with his tie, straightening it one last time. There were tears in her beautiful eyes, but there was also joy. Any qualms her and Harold had carried before were long gone. She was like another mother to him, and Harold treated AJ just like another son. It warmed his heart. He felt as if he wasn’t just gaining a husband, but also a whole family. An extended family the size of which he had never had before.
Howie was over to one side of the tent, joking with his girlfriend as she helped fix his hair. Mark was there with him as well, smiling as he looked AJ over. “You look absolutely stunning.” He told AJ, walking up to give him a hug. “Brian won’t know what hit him.”
They might not have been able to have all the regular traditions of a normal wedding, but they tried to keep some. Neither had seen the other’s outfits. Jackie had been a go between, making sure that they wouldn’t clash, but neither knew what the other was going to wear. Typically it was a bride who couldn’t be seen in her dress, but they took that and changed it to suit them.
“Are you sure? I mean, I know I’m not usually a suit kind of guy.” AJ grinned down at himself, spreading his arms wide to showcase his outfit. Usually he was so confident in his looks. But today was different; today was important. He wanted to look his best. He wanted to stun his soon to be husband.
Jackie reached up and patted his cheek. “You’re dashing, darling. Trust me, you’ll knock him off his feet.” She reassured him.
If anything, AJ’s grin grew wider. This was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. He and Brian had been preparing for their life together like two kids excited over Christmas. They’d bought a house that they had yet to live in, right in California. They’d agreed that they didn’t want to move in until they were officially married. It may have sounded silly to others, but it felt right to them.
Pressing a hand to his stomach, AJ chuckled lightly. “I feel nervous. That seems so silly. I know I want to be with him. But I’m still nervous.”
“That’s normal.” Jackie’s face lit up with a wide grin. She looked so beautiful with her hair piled up on her head, and little curls dangling down. Her dress was a simple red sundress that complimented her frame well. AJ loved her as if she really was his mother. At her insistence, that was what he called her. Mama. He couldn’t bring himself to say Ma, as he did to his own mother.
A small burst of sadness filled him for a moment. They had sent an invitation to Denise, at Brian’s request. It had been sent back unopened. That had hurt, deep down inside. There was nothing that he wanted more than to have his mother be there on the most important day of his life. But he refused to dwell on it.
Something must have showed in his eyes because Jackie wrapped an arm around his waist, hugging him. The entire Littrell family was big on hugs. “Thinking of Denise?” she asked him quietly. Mark put a hand on his shoulder in support.
“Just a little. I wish she would have come today. It would have meant the world to me.” He looked around the room, catching the eyes of all that he loved. The sadness burned away. When he looked back at Jackie, his eyes were clear and his smile honest. “But I have my family with me here. If she chooses not to be a part of that, then it’s her loss. I’ll be happy, with or without her. I won’t let her ruin this day for me.”
“Good for you.” Smiling, Jackie tipped up to kiss his cheek.
Kevin walked in the front of the tent then, with Nick on his tail. Nick carried a camera, having been delegated the cameraman of the whole event. Both of them were grinning at him. Kevin had a look of pride in his eyes when he saw AJ. “I have to say, scrawny, you clean up good.”
Stepping away from everyone, AJ held his arms out again and did a little twirl for the camera. He really did look good. He was wearing basic black suit pants with a single pleat on the front; a long sleeved white shirt with a garnet colored vest and a black tie. True to his style, he was barefoot. Both he and Brian would be. It was part of their whole ‘beach wedding’ theme. He wore no sunglasses, not wanting shield his eyes from a moment of this event. Jackie had agreed with him that the suit jacket would have been too much. He looked formal, yet like himself as well. “Bet you never thought you’d see me this dressed up.”
“I never thought I’d see you settle down, either. Yet here you are. I couldn’t be happier for you, Age.” Kevin stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug. When he pulled back, he wiped at the corner of his eye. Seeing this bring Kevin to tears almost brought on AJ’s tears. They’d been close to the surface for a while, but he was fighting them. He didn’t want to cry his way through this day.
Howie walked over to join them, and for a moment AJ just admired his friends, both old and new. Mark stood with the other band members, as much a part of their life now as he was a part of AJ’s. Since AJ had been released from the hospital, his and Brian’s friendship with Mark and Tony had grown. They were actually looking around to try and find a way to move to California. They had no family in Kentucky and were looking to relocate to the sun, and to be around friends.
All four men were barefoot, and dressed in khaki pants with white button down short sleeved shirts. They would act as groomsmen, as well as Tony and Brian’s brother Harold.
Harold, Kevin and Nick would stand on Brian’s side while Howie, Mark and Tony would stand on AJ’s. They were the six people in their life they were closest to. Like brothers to them.
“You guys look pretty good too.” AJ finally complimented them. He couldn’t resist asking “How’s Brian doing over there?”
Kevin’s grin grew wider. “Chomping at the bit. He can’t wait to get out there.”
Looking wistfully in the direction of Brian’s tent, AJ’s smile grew softer and full of love. “I can’t either.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Time seemed to be going so slow! Brian could hear the crowd gathering outside and felt almost impatient. He wanted nothing more than to get out there and finally be able to marry the man he loved. It was like a dream come true.
They had been through so much to get to where they were. It seemed amazing that they had come so far together. There were times it had seemed so tough, and times they almost hadn’t made it. With AJ’s addiction battle, and then the fight with both their parents, it had seemed as if the world had been so set against them. But they had stuck by one another, and toughed it out. Now look where they were.
He couldn’t help grinning to himself. AJ had made a wonderful recovery from his arm surgery. That arm still wasn’t very strong, and Mark said that it would probably never get back to its original strength. But AJ worked at it steadily, building it back up as best he could. Sometimes he still had trouble lifting, but Brian was always there to help him out.
They had made it through, though. Because they loved one another and they had never given up when the going got tough. Looking over at his dad, Brian couldn’t help but marvel at that. It was the one thing he hadn’t expected in all this. Thank God for AJ forcing him to talk to his parents.
Harold was fixing his tie, a smile on his face as he was lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes it still amazed Brian that his Dad had become one of their biggest supporters. As he had told Brian, the fear of losing him had really changed his views on a lot of things. The accident with AJ had pushed it along even more. Both he and Jackie had realized that love, no matter its form, was always right. They had accepted AJ into the family as if he had always been a part of it.
Music started outside, signaling the call for the groomsmen to start down the aisle. Brian’s stomach did a leap. It was almost time!
He checked his outfit one last time, smiling to himself. He wore black pleated suit pants, a white button down long sleeved shirt, a black tie, and an amethyst vest. It had seemed right to base his vest color off of the ring. Appropriate.
“It’s almost time, son.” Harold said as he walked over to him. His face was full of love and pride that brought a lump into Brian’s throat. “You ready to go start your new life?”
“Ready and excited.”
“Good. That’s how it should be.” With practiced hands, Harold straightened Brian’s tie. “Your mother, she was all nerves on our wedding day. But me, I wanted to run down the aisle. I could barely stand to wait for her to get to me. Seemed like it took forever. Then I looked and I saw her comin gat me, and everything else just disappeared.”
“This feels so wonderful, Dad. I’m happy and excited and just all sorts of things that I can barely stand still.”
Laughter filled the tent. Harold Jr. came over and slapped Brian on the back. “You’ve got a good guy there, bro. I like him. He’ll make a good Littrell.”
That had been an amazing shocker for Brian. When they’d discussed their wedding plans, AJ had so softly and so sweetly asked if Brian would mind if he took his last name. He said that there was nothing left in his life to tie him to being a Mclean. He wanted to marry Brian and be with him and be a part of his family. After today, his name would legally be AJ Littrell. On that note, they had decided that Brian would stand at the alter and be the ‘groom’ while AJ would walk down the aisle to him and be the ‘bride.’
Brian remembered AJ’s face when Harold Sr. had told him that he would be honored if AJ would allow him to give him away. It had been one of the few times that AJ had openly cried around others. That offer had touched his heart and made him feel a part of the family.
“I better get on over there and do my part.” Harold Sr. said, interrupting Brian’s thoughts. “It’s almost your turn, son.”
“I love you, Dad.” He said suddenly, embracing his father. Harold Sr. hugged him back, whispering in his ear “I love you too, son. I’m so proud of you.” Before he pulled away and left the tent.
The song hit a certain note, and Harold Jr. grinned. “That’s my cue, bro. Wait thirty seconds and start out after us. We’ll be waiting.”
At that, Brian was alone. He stared at the tent entrance, smiling to himself as he counted down the time. He felt like a kid! He was so excited and so happy it felt as if he should be floating. When his thirty seconds were up he had to remind himself to walk, not run, from the tent and out into the aisle. As he made the turn and looked out ahead of him, Brian smiled.
There were white chairs set off to either side of the aisle, full of family and friends. A white arch had been erected at the end, under which their priest stood waiting. Behind him was the ocean. On one side of the arch stood his groomsmen, smiling at him. Brian walked down the aisle and stood in front of the arch, on the side with his groomsmen. Nick was behind him, his smile wide and his eyes wet.
Jackie came walking down the aisle next, looking as beautiful as Brian had ever seen her, tears already in her eyes. Behind her came Mark, then Howie, and finally Tony. When she reached the front, Jackie briefly touched his hand before taking her seat in the front row. The men lined up on their side, and the music changed.
This was what Brian had been waiting for. He straightened, looking toward where he knew AJ would come from. This was the moment he had been dying for. They were about to make the biggest commitment of their entire life, and nothing in the world had ever felt so right. As the music played on, Brian watched and got his first view of his soon to be husband. It took his breath away.
AJ and Harold rounded the corner and started down the aisle, arm in arm. Harold looked so proud to be where he was. His smile was both fatherly and loving. But it was AJ who captured all of Brian’s attention. The rest of the world seemed to fade away.
God, but he looked beautiful in his suit! It struck Brian, somewhere in the back of his mind, that AJ had chosen a vest to match his birthstone as well. But what he locked on the most was AJ’s face. Never before had he seen so much love there. It was like AJ practically glowed with it. It was an extension of how he, Brian, felt. When the two men stopped and Harold passed AJ’s arm off to him, Brian took it with joy and pride. “You look amazing.” He couldn’t help whispering.
“You’re a stunner yourself.” AJ whispered back.
Pastor Eric looked at them and smiled. He was a very open minded pastor that they both liked very much, and this wasn’t his first commitment ceremony that he had presided over. He had his hands clasped in front of him as he gave them a smile.
“We are gathered here today in the face of this company, to join together Brian Littrell and Alexander Mclean in matrimony; which is an honorable and solemn estate and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. Into this estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
There was a silent pause as the waves crashed into the shore. When no one spoke, Pastor Eric continued. “Who gives Alexander to be married to this man?”
Harold stood from his seat. “I do.”
“Who gives Brian to be married to this man?”
Jackie stood beside her husband. “I do.”
The two quietly sat back down as the ceremony continued. The two grooms turned so that they were facing one another as the Pastor spoke his next words.
“Brian, do you take Alexander for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto he for as long as you both shall live?”
Without a single hesitation, Brian said “I do.” The words sent a thrill through him. He smiled into AJ’s eyes, which were swimming.
“Alexander, do you take Brian for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” AJ said in that confident rasp of his.
“Wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward spiritual grace and the unbroken circle of love, signifying to all the union of this man and this man in marriage.”
Their rings had been taken off for the ceremony. Now, Kevin stepped up to Brian and handed him a ring. As the Pastor said the words, Brian repeated them with a clear voice as he put the ring on AJ’s finger. “I, Brian, take thee, Alexander, to be my Husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and I promise my love to you forevermore.”
Howie stepped up and handed AJ his ring. Smiling through the tears that were now streaming down his cheeks, AJ spoke in a voice gone deeper and raspier with emotion as he slid Brian’s ring on his finger. “I, Alexander, take thee, Brian, to be my Husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and I promise my love to you forevermore.”
The Pastor smiled at everyone as he looked at the two of them, who were now clasping hands. “Brian and Alexander, as the two of you come into this marriage uniting you as husband and husband, and as you this day affirm your faith and love for one another; I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals. That you respect the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together as from this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge, your marriage strengthened by your love and respect for each other. Let us bow our heads in prayer.”
Everyone bowed their heads as the Pastor’s words filled them.
“Dear Heavenly Father, (or "Oh Lord") our hearts are filled with great happiness on Brian and Alexander's wedding day, as they come before You pledging their hearts and lives to one another. Grant that they may ever be true and loving, living together in such a way as to never bring shame or heartbreak into their marriage. Temper their hearts with kindness and understanding, rid them of all pretense or jealousy. Help them to remember to be each other's sweetheart, helpmate, best friend and guide, so that together they may meet the cares and problems of life more bravely. And with the passage of time, may they find great contentment in the rich joy of senior companionship. May the home they are creating today truly be a place of love and harmony, where Your Spirit is always present. Bless this marriage we pray and walk beside Brian and Alexander throughout all of their lives together. We ask these things in Jesus name; Amen.”
“Amen.” Echoed the voices of all.
Brian lifted his head and met AJ’s eyes again. He felt his own tears build.
“Brian and Alexander, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Holy Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the joining of your hands and the giving of these rings, I now declare you to be Husband and Husband. Whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance unto to you, and give you peace. Congratulations, you may kiss your husband.”
The two came together, AJ’s hand coming up to cup Brian’s cheek as they kissed their first kiss as husband and husband. When they pulled back, they couldn’t stop smiling. The two turned to face the crowd and Pastor Eric stepped to their back, putting a hand on either shoulder.
“It is my privilege to present to you Mr. & Mr. Littrell.”
As everyone applauded, the two men stepped down into the aisle, taking the first few steps into their new life together with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.