Embarrassment had AJ’s face flaming. But humor was starting to leak in. He watched Brian as he continued to laugh, seeming unable to stop himself. AJ’s lips twitched and he felt a chuckle rise up. “Brian Thomas stop laughing and hand me my damn pants.” He hissed at his boyfriend.
Still laughing but trying to calm it, Brian looked down the ground and back up at AJ. He hiccupped a few times before finally managing to say “I think I got your pants on by mistake.”
For some reason that sentence broke the last of AJ’s control. He started to laugh as well, holding the blanket tight to his waist. The hilarity of the whole thing struck him. Looking over Kevin’s shoulder he could see Nick standing back there, shaking his head, a slightly amused look on his face. It only made AJ laugh harder.
Kevin looked thunderous. “I don’t see what the fuck is so funny here!” he bellowed at them. “I want to know what the fuck is going on!”
Something inside of Brian and AJ seemed to be twisted right then. They couldn’t manage to bring themselves under control. Brian whispered “Fuck is the right word.” quietly so that only AJ heard him, but it had them laughing even harder. Brian had to finally sit on the opposite bed. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t stay upright.
Someone shut the door; who, he didn’t know. But he heard it click shut. Then a pair of sweats hit him in the face. He looked up, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, and saw Howie standing by his suitcases. “Put some damn pants on, Age.”
Without a shred of modesty, AJ threw the blankets back and turned his legs off the edge of the bed so he could stuff them in the sweats. He stood up as he pulled them up. When he was finally dressed, everyone seemed to relax a little. Very little.
Chortling, AJ moved over to sit beside Brian on the other bed. They had managed to control their laughter by then, an occasional chuckle still slipping out here and there.
Kevin stood with his arms crossed over his chest. His glower was centered directly on them. “How long as this been going on?” he demanded to know. The couple looked at one another for a second. It was Brian who finally answered. “About mid-March, I’d say. It was the end of the last tour.” AJ nodded his agreement.
The color in Kevin’s face grew. “Wait, the last tour? You’re telling me you’ve been together for over a year?”
AJ opened his mouth to answer that, but a thought hit him and he froze. A look of such horror crossed his face that Brian instantly forgot all about the conversation and turned his full attention to his boyfriend. “Alex? What is it?” he asked worriedly.
At first AJ didn’t answer. He wasn’t paying any attention. But when Brian insistently called his name again he shook his head and turned to look at him. “Huh?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just realized. It wasn’t just your birthday I fucked up. God, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
It took a second for Brian to realize where AJ was going with this. When it clicked in his head he understood why AJ had looked so horrified. They had been fighting when their anniversary had rolled around. The thought had never even occurred to him. “Oh, baby.” Forgetting everyone else in the room, Brian couldn’t resist cupping AJ’s cheek. There were tears standing in AJ’s eyes that broke his heart.
There was such love between them that it struck Kevin silent. He and Howie watched and saw the love between the two for the first time. There was no denying its strength. It was there in every inch of them. The two were amazed as they watched AJ battle back tears, horrified by something that they didn’t know, and Brian tried to soothe him. It was easy to see that the two had forgotten anyone else.
“Alex, it’s ok. Please, don’t worry about it. Please.”
A single tear spilled over. “But it was our anniversary, Bri!” he choked out. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before now. “God! First I ruin your birthday with that fight, and then we were still fighting at our one year anniversary! The more I look at the more I see things I fucked up!”
“No, oh baby, no. You listen to me. We both fucked that one up, ok? That wasn’t just you. Until you said it I hadn’t even thought of it. We’ll do something together on our next day off, ok? Something just the two of us. The exact date isn’t important right now. We missed it, but that’s ok. What matters if that we’re together.”
“I hate that my problems caused so much damage. I hate that I did this to us.”
“I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life, Alex. We will have so many more anniversaries ahead of us. So we missed the first one? We’ll have plenty more to celebrate together. I promise you this.”
That seemed to ease AJ a little. He felt the knot inside of him start to melt away. How could he stay upset when Brian was right there, talking him down, so full of love? “I love you, sweetheart.” He whispered the words, suddenly conscious of everyone again.
“I love you too, baby.” Brian wasn’t in the mood to care about what the others thought. He leaned in and kissed AJ to both reassure him and show his love. Satisfied that things were now ok he reached down and took hold of AJ’s hand before turning back to the others. “Ok, where were we? Oh yeah. Yes, we’ve been together a little over a year. We wanted to see where things went with us before we told anyone. We also wanted to avoid making problems for the band. We had no idea how you guys would react.”
Calmer now, Kevin had a much more neutral look on his face. “I’m your family, Brian. Did you think I’d just turn my back on you? You’re not just family, you’re my friend. Who you are is who you are. The both of you. I just, I can’t reconcile the two images I have of you together now. I never suspected you were gay!”
“You’ve surprised me too, the both of you.” Howie chimed in. He had been mostly quiet up until now. The look in his eyes was almost…hurt. “I can’t believe you didn’t come talk to me either, Age. This, your drinking, the drugs. I’m supposed to be your best friend, but lately it seems like you don’t trust me enough to tell me anything.”
“That’s not true!” AJ quickly insisted. “It’s not like that, D. Can’t you see how we were scared? How I was scared? Our plan was to tell you guys on this tour. But, well, Ma was the first one we told.”
It took a minute for that to make the connections in everyone’s brains. Howie was the first to understand. His mouth dropped open in shock. “Holy shit! That’s why she got so upset? Seriously?”
AJ nodded at them. His pain was evident in his eyes once more. The others were amazed all over again at how open AJ had become. “She slapped me and told me I wasn’t her son anymore. No son of hers is gay.” He said the last part bitterly. It still grated at him when he let it, her treatment of him. That wasn’t supposed to be how a mother treated a son.
“Either way, Age. I’m your best friend. Or I thought I was. This should be something you could tell me. I guess, I just wish I could have been there to help you instead of being one of the people you were afraid of telling.”
Hearing the sorrow in his friends words spurred AJ to his feet. In a few strides he crossed the room and drew Howie into a tight hug. “You will always be my best friend. It’s been hell, keeping things from you. But I did what I felt I had to. Can you understand that, D? It wasn’t trust. It was my own fear on this one. With the other, the drugs and shit, it was my shame. But nothing you did. You are my best friend. You always will be.”
“You’re mine too, Age. I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard here.”
“I think they caught all of us off guard.” Kevin chimed in. His expression had mellowed quite a bit from when he’d first walked in. That was an image that he would never be able to get out of his brain. He looked to Brian and had to look away again, his cheeks flushing. Brian noticed it and started to chuckle again, though he did try to muffle it this time.
Still, Kevin heard him. “Oh, shut the hell up. I have to live with that image for the rest of my life now, you know!” he snapped teasingly at Brian. This just made Brian chuckle more and more. He tried so hard to keep his composure but it was a losing battle. “I’m sorry, Kev. It’s just, your face…I’ve never seen you so shocked!”
“I never thought I’d see my cousin riding another man!” The words were out of Kevin’s mouth before he could think. When he realized what he said he winced again and brought his hands up to cover his face. The rest of the room burst into laughter, even Howie.
Playfully, Howie jabbed AJ in the ribs with his elbow. “AJ’s face was the best. He looked like he thought God had come down to smite him.”
“Shit!” AJ swore, shoving Howie back. “You would too! It’s one thing to tell you guys we’re gay, it’s a whole other thing to have you witness us in the act.”
Kevin peeked out from his hands to glare at AJ. “Well hang a damn sock on the door next time!”
That brought back memories for AJ, Brian, and Nick that had them all doubling over with laughter. Once they could breathe again, AJ tried to explain so that Kevin and Howie wouldn’t look so confused. “Oh, God, sorry guys. It’s just, when I was going through withdrawals I woke up one morning and saw bugs all over the bed, and on and under my skin, an Brian had straddled my waist to try to restrain me so I wouldn’t scratch my skin off. He was kissing me when Nick poked his head in, and Nick said almost the same damn thing. Hang a sock on the door or some shit, he told us.”
That had the older two men laughing. That is, until they realized that Nick had known. That had Kevin glaring from Nick and back over to the suddenly sheepish looking couple. “Nick knew?” Kevin asked in a hurt voice.
That prompted another explanation. AJ moved back over by Brian while Nick explained going to drop off AJ’s stuff and what he had found and how he had figured things out. The story had AJ’s cheeks going red with shame. He hated people knowing how bad he had been just in an attempt to get a hit. Thankfully Nick kept the details of AJ’s craving to a minimum, only telling details that were pertinent to explaining how he had figured things out.
By the time the story was done, Brian was closely watching AJ’s face. He made a decision in his mind and turned back to the others. “Look, guys, we know this is a shock. But we want you to know that it’s not like we’re looking to run right out and tell the public. We understand that can take time and that it’s a big deal that could affect us all. We understand that you guys probably want to keep this on the down low for a while. Next step is telling mom and dad, but beyond that, we respect that you guys are a part of this group too and that you won’t want to possibly have us ruined by this coming out…”
“Wait, wait.” Kevin cut in. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his cousin. “Who said we wanted you guys to be quiet? Who cares if you’re dating? It’s a shock at first, yeah, but it’s your lives and you should be free to live them. I would have no hesitation about letting the public find out.”
“Same here.” Nick agreed right as Howie told them “Me too.”
Kevin smiled. “See? You guys tell Uncle Harold and Aunt Jackie when you’re ready, but if you decided that you want to hold a press conference for the public or if you just want them to find out on their own, we have your backs one hundred percent, ok? Just be happy being you, guys.”
Emotion clogged Brian’s throat for a moment. “Thank you, guys.” From beside him AJ quietly echoed the sentiment.
It was Nick who took over what Brian had been trying to start. “Why don’t we let you guys be for a while. Seeing as how we interrupted and such.” He told his friends. That got the expected blush from Kevin. Soon it seemed the three of them had quickly said their goodbyes and extracted themselves from the room.
When they were all gone, AJ and Brian looked at one another before flopping on their backs on the bed. “Shit.” His hands covering his face, AJ groaned. “That was interesting. I’m never going to be able to look Kevin in the face again.”
“You?” Brian exclaimed. His eyes were wide. “My cousin walked in to find me riding my boyfriend! God, him and I will probably look at one another and blush the rest of our lives!”
The two chuckled as they rolled over to one another. For a while they lay there, too lost in the moment to say any words. There was nothing that needed to be said. It seemed that, for the first time in a while, things were finally starting to look up for them.