Within a day the other members of the band showed up at AJ’s house, making their way through the press outside. Each one of them had rallied at AJ’s call, ready and willing to do anything to help with this little girl that was so much a part of their family now. Howie was the first to arrive, bursting through the front door with his usual smiles. He hauled an extra suitcase in with him, stowing it hastily away in the bedroom before he came to talk with them all. AJ figured he knew what was in it. It was around a month until Christmas.
The next person to arrive was Kevin, not an hour later. He came in with his usual serious expression, but he was all smiles for Mattie. She was hiding on Uncle Brian’s lap since her Papa was busy getting a tray of snack food together. Kevin sat down next to Brian on the couch and reached out, twirling one of her curls as he spoke to her. By the time AJ came out, the gruff father figure of the group was busily playing a hand game with the now grinning Mattie.
Nick was the last to show, as usual. Also normal for him, he came in like a whirlwind, happy and bouncing and smiling. His good mood was infectious enough that he soon had everyone smiling at him. There wasn’t much that could get their youngest member down for long, and he was well used to dealing with the press.
Once they were all settled, Mattie munching happily on her Uncle Brian’s lap, Kevin sat back and gave them all the rundown of what he had thought of.
“As far as I can see, there’s really only one way to do this. We’re going to have to be as honest as possible, brutally so, but there are just some details that they don’t need to know. Some of the stuff you told me, J, well, I think we can keep that out of the press.” Kevin said solemnly. “If we explain what the relationship is, and a few other pertinent details, I think that will give them enough to feed on.”
Nick, who was sitting cross legged on the floor, flicked a glance at Mattie before looking at the rest of them. He chose his words carefully as he spoke. “What about the uh, love nest bit with the two potential padres in the press’s eyes?”
That right there was a sticky situation. The room fell silent, and all eyes went to Brian and AJ. How would they play this one?
Howie, ever the mediator, caught on to the mood the quickest, and in his own way, set about solving it. “I think that’s something that you two need to discuss.” He said bluntly. Everyone turned to look at him. “Why don’t you let us guys take her up to her room, get to know her a little bit, and you two can discuss it for a bit. We’ll come back when you’re ready.”
There was a subtle reminder in there that they didn’t have time to dither about this. A decision needed to be made that day, so they could get the ball rolling before the press ran too much farther. No statement at all was worse than anything they could say.
Brian bent down and whispered in Mattie’s ear for a minute. The little girl giggled, but allowed Kevin to take her hand and help her off Brian’s lap. “She doesn’t like to talk.” Brian warned them softly. They nodded at him, and the three men took her off to her room.
There was a sad look in Brian’s eyes when he turned to face AJ. “If you want to tell them that I’m here as a friend, to help get you two settled, I would be perfectly fine with that.” He said gently. The option was perfect, because in all honesty, that was the reason that Brian had come.
But AJ found himself frowning, not liking the answer. It seemed too vague for what he felt. The original reason that Brian had come had been as a friend, yes, but AJ felt like they had grown into a family in just a few short days. He couldn’t picture a life with Mattie that didn’t have Brian in it. He felt foolish, having thought that he wouldn’t be able to juggle a partner and a daughter at the same time.
AJ stayed quiet as his thoughts tried to make order. Had he really thought that he would be able to bring Brian here as a friend, and maintain that illusion after the kiss they had shared? After them both admitting to their feelings? Had he really been that stupid to believe it? Every minute that Brian spent with him and Mattie, AJ felt the love in his heart grow and grow. There was no division between his time and love to Mattie or Brian. It was equal shares, which were there simultaneously. But, just because he felt that way didn’t mean that Brian did. He replayed what Brian had said in his mind. Did that mean that Brian had changed his mind?
“What do you want?” AJ asked suddenly, his voice low.
“How do you mean? With the press?”
AJ shook his head and bit his lip. “No, I mean in general. What do you want; with the press, with us, with Mattie and this whole thing. What do you want, Brian?” The question wasn’t asked nastily or rudely, but with honest curiosity and emotion.
There was a silence long enough that AJ made himself look up at Brian’s face. What he saw there had him speechless. A fire was in Brian’s eyes that burned bright and hot.
“What do I want? I want to be with you, Alex. I want to go to bed with you each night, and wake up next to you in the morning. I want to be there for Mattie’s first day of school, and for her first dance. When she’s sick, I want to be worrying by your side. I want to grow old with you, and spend my life getting to know you. I want a family, this family. Our family.”
The words left AJ stunned. “You don’t, you know, have any problems raising a child? A child that I had with a woman I barely even knew?”
Brian’s gaze softened and filled with a love so strong that AJ felt his heart swell. “AJ, don’t you realize, I love that little girl so much already. I couldn’t love her more if she were my own flesh and blood. No matter whom you had her with, first and foremost she is a part of you, and I will always love anything that’s a part of you. Secondly, she is a wonderful, beautiful child. How could you think I wouldn’t want her? This time we’ve had together, I know now what I feel. I love her, AJ. I love her so much. Just as much as I love you.”
Love overwhelmed AJ, and he launched himself across the room at Brian. He practically fell right into those open arms. As Brian enfolded him in a hug, AJ gripped him tightly, his heart full to bursting. Everything felt right now. He had been silly to think that one would take away from the other. Without one in the unit, it wasn’t complete. Now that he had allowed himself to feel, to accept the love that Brian was offering him, everything was right. They were whole now.
Pulling back, he kissed Brian with such gentleness that when they pulled back, the older man’s eyes were swimming in unshed tears. “I love you too, Brian Thomas.” AJ’s voice was deeper with emotion. “Be a family with me.”
Brian smiled sweetly at him. “Don’t you realize, AJ? We already are.”