“Brian, are you listening to me?”
Dave’s voice in Brian’s ear snapped his attention back to his phone call. He felt a little guilty when he realized that he hadn’t been paying much attention to Dave. “Yeah, I’m here honey. Sorry, I was just chatting a little.” Brian explained as he quickly typed in the chat box that he would be right back. He saw the little grin that James sent back and found himself smiling as he laid back on his bunk in the bus. “What was it you were saying?”
“You’ve been so distracted these past few weeks, Brian. What’s going on with you?” The accusation in Dave’s voice stung. More so because Brian knew that he was right. Since he had started this friendship with James weeks ago he was becoming slowly distant from Dave. Even with the things that James had made him realize, Brian wasn’t quite ready to let go of his partner yet. He wanted to believe that things could be fixed.
Running a hand through his hair, Brian tried to reorient his thoughts. “I know I’ve been a little off lately, and I’m sorry. I’m just missing you I guess.” It was the truth, just not the whole truth. Dave’s reply surprised him. “Why don’t I come see you when you get where you’re going?”
“You’d do that?” Brian exclaimed.
“Well, yeah. If you want me to.”
“Of course I do!”
There was a smile in Dave’s voice this time when he spoke. “What would you say if I told you I called Kevin, and I’m already waiting for you at the hotel?”
To Brian’s surprise he felt a small flash of annoyance. What if he hadn’t been feeling good and had decided to say no? But he quickly smothered that down. “I’d say I can’t wait to see you!” he exclaimed. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”
Dave started to say something, but Brian’s eyes had drifted to the laptop screen and he saw the way that James had been entertaining himself while waiting. The chat smiley faces, emoticons, were covering the screen, most of them animated. Then he had moved to using the symbols to create pictures. A couple of the pictures he had made were vulgar. A laugh escaped before he could contain it.
“What’s that for?” Dave teased. There was an underlying tone in Dave’s voice that let Brian know he was a little annoyed to find Brian wasn’t paying attention to him.
“Oh, I was just chatting with a friend when you called, and I told him I’d be back. He’s put funny faces and such all over the chat screen. I just happened to look over at it.”
Dave was silent on his end for a long minute. “Am I interrupting, then?” he finally asked.
“No, no!” Brian was quick to reassure. “He’s just being a nut, honey.”
“He?”
Brian could have kicked himself for even mentioning it. No matter what, Dave always got jealous of people that Brian spoke to. It was the biggest thing that irked Brian, and that he would change about his boyfriend if he could. “Just a friend, honey.” He tried to calm him down.
“Where’d you meet this friend?”
That was the question that Brian had hoped he wouldn’t ask. He didn’t want to lie to his boyfriend, but he knew that Dave would flip over the answer, so he’d hoped to avoid it. Wishful thinking on his part. He took a deep breath and explained how he’d met James, omitting the parts that described what they talked about.
When he was done, the phone line was silent again. “Dave?” he asked hesitantly. “You ok?”
“Brian, this guy could be a stalker. You’re encouraging him by talking to him.” Dave said suddenly. His voice was firm and serious. “What on earth possessed you to talk to him?”
“He’s not a stalker.” Brian defended, annoyed that Dave was automatically assuming the worst about his friend. “He’s very friendly and nice to talk to. I enjoy his company.”
“That’s what they do! They get close to you, and before you know it they’re on your doorstep, following you, all sorts of shit, Bri. God, you’re so naïve sometimes.”
“You’re just overacting. He’s never done anything remotely stalkerish, and trust me, I’ve dealt with stalkers before. I know the signs to watch out for. He’s not showing any of them. He’s just a nice guy that I enjoy talking to.”
“Apparently more than me.”
Brian lay back in his bunk and rolled his eyes. “Don’t be like that, Dave. Jesus, I already told you that he is just my friend, that’s it!”
“Yeah, I can tell. Look, I need to hop in the shower. I’ll see you when you get here.” The hurt tone in Dave’s voice both annoyed Brian and made him feel guilty. “I’ll see you there, baby. Shouldn’t be much longer.”“Yeah, bye.”
With a click the call was disconnected. On a wave of anger, Brian threw his phone against the wall of his bunk. He heard Nick stir in the bunk across from him. After a second of silence he started to snore again. Brian took a deep breath to calm himself down and then went back to his chat.
Frick: Hey, I’m back.
James: Bout time! I was getting uh, bored :P
Frick: I could tell
James: You ok? I didn’t annoy you with that stuff, did I?
Shifting positions, Brian smiled to himself. James was such a sensitive person. He’d learned that early on in their conversations. Unlike most men who seemed to think that most feelings were beneath them, James was refreshingly sensitive about things. He put off a tough guy act most of the time, but that was starting to fade the more that they talked together. Brian was starting to see that emotional side of James a whole lot more often. It made him feel special, and trusted.
Frick: No, no. Don’t worry. If you did, I’d tell you.
James: Really? Ur sure?
Frick: Positive. :)
Frick: It was just, it was Dave on the phone…
James: Ahhhhhh. I c I c
Frick: He told me that he talked to Kevin an set it up so that he’s at the hotel waiting for me right now.
James: …..
James: without asking u first?
It sent a wave of relief through Brian that someone else understood what he was feeling, and without being told. That reassured him that he wasn’t just overreacting to it. In so many ways, he and James thought a lot alike about things.
Frick: Exactly. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to see him an all. But…idk
James: But what if u were sick, or not in the mood? What if u had plans? He shoulda at least checked wit u first
Frick: :)
Frick: Thank you. I thought it was just me being overly sensitive :P
James: Naw, I see it the same way luv.
James: Surprised he’s comin, wit how u say he n ur friends get along
Frick: Yeah. I hope Dave doesn’t get a bug in his ear and start being a jerk.
James: LMAO, bug in his ear? U mean bug up his butt, dear
Frick: Mines less vulgar
James: Well I guess I’m vulgar then, eh? AWESOME :D
Frick: Oh, get over yourself ;) I’ve heard worse, from each one of the guys.
James: Ah, well, I’ll strive to improve my vulgarity then ;)
Frick: lol! God forbid!
James: So uh, how much longer u got till u gotta go see ur lovely?
Frick: Probably another ten minutes till we get there, I’d guess.
James: I should probably let u go get ur stuff 2gether then. Bleh. U be on later, or u gonna b busy?
For a moment Brian had to stop and think. He wanted nothing more than to be online that night. It had almost become a ritual to talk together in chat before they went to bed. But, he didn’t want to upset Dave.
Frick: Not sure. I think I should probably spend my time with him you know. He did come all this way to see me.
James: true
James: Boo
Frick: Idk how long he’ll be here.
James: double boo
James: Well, if u want u can email me a few times. Maybe we’ll catch 1 another. I know u wanna spend time wit him an shit. :) I’ll still be here when he goes home, lol
Frick: Thanks for understanding, James.
James: Np! What r friends 4? :D
Frick: You know, you could just tell me which one of my friends is your friend, and maybe we could manage to get together sometime :)
James: Ha ha. I told u, I aint tellin u
Frick: Do I know you? Give me a hint at least!
James: …..
Frick: Please?
James: *sigh* I can’t resist ur sweetness
Frick: :D Just one hint
James: U do know me.
James: I won’t ever lie 2 u, frickalicious. Remember that, ok? I won’t lie to u, but some things I just won’t tell u. Some things would just, ruin, what we have. I hope u understand it
Frick: I may not understand, but I can respect it. I just hope one day you’ll open up to me.
James: I’d like that, but I’m a chicken shit. I don’t want us 2 b hurt, on either side.
Frick: Hurt? I doubt you and I could hurt one another, hon. You’re the closest friend I’ve had in a long time. I can talk to you in ways I can’t talk to others. You won’t ever be able to chase me away.
James: I just hope 1 day u don’t have 2 eat those words. Take care, luv. Ttyl
Frick: ttyl