Cops came and went, taking statements and making their reports. There wasn’t much for Brian to do beyond tell his side of the story. When AJ was awake and ready, they would ask him for his side and the case would be closed. There were no charges to be made, as the man who had done this was dead; killed by the cops that had rescued them. The press was another matter entirely, but Brian was leaving that for Kevin to deal with at the moment. They pleaded injuries as the reason that Brian hadn’t made a statement.
In reality, as soon as he had woke, Brian had paced as he’d waited for AJ to come out of surgery. After that he spent every waking moment in AJ’s room with him. They kept him under for the night to give his body a chance to heal. When he woke there was going to be a lot of pain.
The doctors predicted that he would survive without any serious complications. Both the stab wound and the gunshot had surprisingly hit non-vital areas. What that meant in terms of recovery was that it should take him a surprisingly short time to heal from both, though the time it would take would still seem like a lot to AJ.
His knee was their biggest concern. It was also the one that was creating all of Brian’s guilt. As he sat by AJ’s beside, he couldn’t help but stare at him and wonder. What would AJ think when he woke up? Would he be furious? Not that Brian would be able to blame him. A shattered kneecap. They’d had to replace the pieces of his kneecap with a prosthetic one. Not only that, but the muscles and such around his knee had been torn, and they would take quite a bit of rest to heal, as well as PT. The doctor said that, since his scar was on the same leg, most likely this leg would give him lifelong trouble.
In the face of his lovers injuries, Brian’s mind tended to gloss over his own. But Nick kept an eye on him all night. He knew that AJ was being taken care of, and wasn’t going to wake up before morning light. The medication they’d given him would keep him asleep. So that left Nick free to take care of Brian.
They had re-casted Brian’s hand. Between the ropes and the treatment he’d been under, it hadn’t re-broke it but it had strained it. His ankles were chapped and raw from rubbing against the ties that had held them. He sat tenderly to try and ease the bruises on his backside. Dave had stayed true to his word. He’d tested everything on Brian before he did it to AJ. Because of that, Brian had the marks from the strap and the paddle, among other things, on his backside as well as his arms.
Nothing he felt physically compared to the anguish he felt mentally. It was because of him that this had all happened. If he hadn’t got together with AJ, if he hadn’t fallen for James, well, Dave would never have had this kind of reason to get mad at AJ.
Nick was sitting next to him, a hand on his leg, as they watched AJ sleep.
“This is all my fault, Frack.”
The quiet admission surprised Nick, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He knew that if he waited, Brian would get out whatever was eating at his mind. Sometimes that was the only way for his friend to feel better.
“If I hadn’t fallen for someone else while still with my boyfriend, we wouldn’t be here. I should have waited and walked away from the situation. Especially after the bus crash. I should have stepped back from him then, to keep him safe. Instead, Dave took us both. In an effort to keep me, to make me be his again, he tortured the one person in the world I love more than life itself. Just to get me to be with him again.”
Brian turned his head toward Nick, tears glistening in his eyes. “I had to give in at the end. I couldn’t stand watching him hurt him anymore. I couldn’t be the cause of it. But I didn’t know he’d try to shoot him. I don’t know what I thought he’d do, but it never crossed my mind that he would try to shoot AJ. But AJ knew.” Bringing a hand up, Brian wiped his face on his arm. “He told me he loved me, and he looked so resigned, Nick. I didn’t understand right away, but he did. He asked me ot remember him better than that. He didn’t want me to remember him like that.”
He looked down at his lap, at where Nick was rubbing his leg. “The hard part is, now that I know he’s alive, I can’t stop thinking about it. How do I get past what I did to him?”
Nick leaned in, wrapping his arm around Brian’s shoulder. Just as he did, a voice startled them both. “Shut up.”
The two friends looked up, watching as AJ’s head turned toward them. He was still groggy, still woozy, but he was trying to glare at Brian. “You didn’t do anything.” He slurred. He sounded so drugged but Brian didn’t care. He felt his tears break free and flow down his face. AJ was awake. He was ok, and he was awake. Gently he reached up, taking hold of AJ’s hand. The strength in AJ’s fingers surprised him.
“I’m so sorry, baby. God, I’m sorry.”
“I said shut up.” AJ repeated, his voice growing firmer. He rolled his eyes toward Nick, one corner of his mouth curving up. “Smack him for me, would you, Chaos?”
A watery smile lit up Nick’s face. “Soon as he’s up for it, I promise I will.” He said, laughter echoing in his voice. He rose from his chair, whispering to Brian that he was going to let the others know that AJ was awake. It also gave the lovers a moment of privacy.
AJ tried to take a deep breath but ended up wincing as his shoulder throbbed. “Mm, note to self. Don’t do that.” He mumbled jokingly.
“Do you need me to call a nurse?”
“No, Bri.” AJ reassured him, squeezing his hand. “I just need you. Tell me what happened.”
The request wasn’t a surprise. Most likely everything at the end was going to be a blur for AJ. “He-well…what do you remember last?”
“He shot me.” AJ cleared his throat and his eyes slid shut. “The fucker shot my shoulder.”
“Yeah. But he pulled the trigger when cops burst in an startled him. They shot him. He’s, well, he’s dead.”
“Good. That son of a bitch is rotting in hell.”
Brian squeezed AJ’s hand lightly. “We unlocked you and got you here to the hospital. You went through some pretty big surgeries. The bullet went clean through, so they mostly were sewing up the holes in your hide.” Here was where Brian had difficulty. HE looked down at their joined hands and wondered if his love was going to hate him. Best to get it out of the way and said. “He shattered your kneecap. They had to put in a prosthetic one. Between that, and the amount of muscles it tore when he hit it, they said it’s likely you’ll walk with a slight limp. They don’t think you’ll dance like you used to, though.”
Silence filled the hospital room. With each passing second, Brian felt his guilt grow and grow. He laid his head down on the side of the bed by their joined hands. “I’m sorry.” he whispered. AJ’s hand broke away from his, causing Brian to close his eyes against the waves of pain and guilt. AJ hated him. Oh God. He had known it would be like that. Who could blame him?
But AJ surprised him. Those long fingers hooked under his chin, bringing his face up so that they could look eye to eye. In that look Brian could see all the love AJ felt for him.
“Brian Thomas Littrell, if you apologize to me one more time, I swear that as soon as I’m mobile, I will kick your ass.” AJ threatened casually. “I love you, and that’s all there is to you. You did not cause this. You are not at fault. I’m alive, and if I’ve learned anything it would be to be grateful for my life, and the life of those I love.”
Brian raised himself up to sit gently on the edge of the bed. He leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.” Was all he could say.
A smile curved AJ’s lips. “I love you too. We’ll make it through this, Bri. Have faith.”
As the door opened and the others swarmed the room, Brian knew that AJ was right. Together they would make it. They could make it through anything, so long as they had one another.