*December 23rd 2004*<?xml:namespace prefix = o />
*Jaden’s 1 year, 2 months old*
A loud squeal from Jaden drew Brian’s eyes over to the playpen they’d set up in the living room. It had eight plastic panels to surround him with, each one with something on it to keep him entertained. Inside they kept toys for him. Usually they only put him in there when they were gathering in the living room, or if they had company sitting in there with them. Anyone who stopped by, though, knew that both AJ and Brian were hell on anyone who thought to put him in there and leave the room.
There was another one in Mikayla’s living room for the afternoons that she kidnapped him from them. She did enjoy doing that sometimes and Jaden loved his Aunt. Just like his parents, Jaden was a very loving kid. He had many important people in his life and he loved all of them.
Jaden bashed a truck against the side of his playpen, getting Brian’s attention again. “Papa!” He demanded seriously. “Papa!” The truck went flying out of the pen amidst a stream of furious babble. Shaking his head, Brian stood up and picked the truck up, carrying it over to the playpen.
“We don’t throw our toys, Jaden.” He scolded his son.
Jaden lifted his arms up in the air and babbled again. This time Brian couldn’t resist smiling at him as he picked him up. “You want up, huh? Done playing in your playpen?”
“Pen!” Jaden agreed.
He settled easily on to Brian’s hip. Looking over at the clock, Brian saw it was time for lunch before laying Jaden down for his nap. “Come on, little man. Let’s get you something to eat. You hungry?” He headed toward the kitchen as he spoke, moving easily with his son on his hip. “Eat, eat, eat!” Jaden cheered happily.
Brian got Jaden strapped into his high chair first before moving toward the fridge. He paused by the intercom system and pressed the button for Mikayla’s living room. “Kay…my darling Kay!” He let go of the button and moved to put some bread in the toaster. One of Jaden’s favorite foods was toast. He loved to sit and chew on it.
Just as the toast popped, the intercom buzzed back with Mikayla’s laughing voice. “You summoned, my dear?”
Brian grinned and pressed the button again. “I’m making up some lunch. I was thinking about making some cheese sandwiches. You want one?”
“You know I love those! I’ll be down in a flash.”
He couldn’t help chuckling as he gave Jaden his first piece of toast. While his son ate and they waited for Mikayla to come down, Brian set about pulling out his skillet and preparing the sandwiches. By the time she showed up he already had the first one cooking. “Mm, I love cooked cheese sandwiches.” She said happily as she bounced in, pausing to give Jaden a loud, smacking kiss on top of his head. “Where’s AJ at?” She looked around the kitchen while she took a seat at the table right beside Jaden’s high chair.
“He was going to take a shower.” Brian paused to flip the sandwich. “He was hoping it would warm him up. He’s freezing today.” That was an understatement. Ever since they’d woken up, AJ had been shivering. No amount of clothes seemed to keep him warm. So he’d gone to soak in a steaming shower and hopefully warm himself up.
Sometimes their days went so well that Brian didn’t even think about AJ’s disease. Then, other days, it was so apparent that it hurt his heart. Days like this when AJ would just freeze even under layers of clothes, Brian couldn’t help but notice how little meat AJ had on his bones compared to how he’d looked before all this had taken some of his weight from him. Number wise, it really wasn’t that much of a weight loss and no real concern to his doctor. But it still affected AJ in small ways.
A sympathetic smile lit Mikayla’s face. For the moment, Brian shamelessly ignored it. If he let himself wallow than he was going to ruin their day. So instead he focused only on making lunch. But by the time he got Mikayla’s sandwiches made, his own appetite had disappeared.
He took the half cooked cheese sandwich over to Jaden, checking to make sure it was cool before setting it down for his son. Then he cup up a banana and set it on the tray as well. Once he had a cup of milk in a Sippy cup for him, he smiled at Jaden, watching him happily chow down.
“Age starting to feel any better?” Mikayla’s question interrupted Brian’s thoughts. He looked over to her, silent for a moment. He had to shake his head to bring his thoughts back under control. “Sorry, Kay. Uh, not sure. He was quiet this morning, but he was cold too. He’s been in the bathroom a few times but he hasn’t been up real long.”
For the past few days AJ had been fighting some kind of bug. It had him in and out of the bathroom with a frequency that annoyed the hell out of him. He’d lost a little of his appetite too, which was a concern all of its own. Anymore he took in so little food that he couldn’t afford to lose any of it.
Mikayla had been monitoring him, as was part of her job, and trying to keep him hydrated. She’d said that was what was important; keeping him full of fluids so he didn’t become dehydrated.
“I’ll check in on him after lunch.” She reassured Brian softly. “He seemed to be in a pretty good mood last night.”
A smile curved Brian’s lips. How couldn’t he be? “We both are, Kay.” He told her with a wide grin. She’d come home last night and told them that this in-vitro had taken. She was pregnant again. They were beyond thrilled with this. AJ was dying to have kids that were Brian’s. A little blond angel, he joked with Brian. Thinking of that turned his thoughts back to AJ, though. What was taking him so long?
With a gentle touch Mikayla took his hand. “Go see how he is, I know you want to. Jaden and I are fine in here. Go.”
He couldn’t help smiling at her. Bending down, he kissed first her forehead, then Jaden’s. “I’ll be right back. An Kay? Thanks.” He smiled at her before heading toward the bedroom.
The shower was still running when he got there. He could hear the steady sound of it. Must be feeling good for him, he thought. But he couldn’t shake that little nagging feeling in the back of his mind. “Alex?” he called out. Stepping into the bathroom, Brian looked over at the stall door. “Husband?”
There wasn’t any answer. The nervous feeling in Brian’s stomach grew a little more. He didn’t hesitate to walk over and open the shower stall door, or to poke his head in. “Husband?”
AJ stood there under the spray of the shower, one hand holding the railing they’d installed in there just for him. He didn’t look up when the door opened or when Brian called to him. Worried, Brian stepped into the stall, thankful that it was a lazy house day so he was barefoot and dressed only in pajama pants and shirt. “Alex, honey?”
For a moment there was no response. Then AJ was turning his head slightly, his eyebrows drawn down over his eyes. “Brian?” He asked quietly. “What’re you doing here?”
Worry spiked higher. “I was just coming to check on you.” Brian tried to keep his voice calm. His husband looked confused by what was going on, looking around him as if trying to make sense of where he was. His words had seemed thick, as if they were hard for him to get out.
Something definitely wasn’t right here. Brian quickly reached out and grabbed AJ’s robe before stepping back in. With one hand he shut off the spray from the shower. “You’ve been in here a long time, husband. Why don’t we get you dried off?”
AJ brought one hand up to rub at his face. It worried Brian even more to see the small tremor in that hand. “I’m sleepy.” AJ said, his voice confused and even thicker. “Is it bed time?”
Fear skittered up Brian’s spine. He walked over to AJ and wrapped his robe around his shoulders. “You can lie down if you want, once we get you dry.”
“I’m wet? Why am I wet?”
Before Brian could think to respond, AJ slumped slightly. He would have fallen if Brian wasn’t quick enough to catch him. Quickly Brian bent down, putting one arm around AJ and the other behind his knees. He had him up in his arms in one easy move. Once AJ was cradled to his chest, Brian wasted no more time in rushing from the room and calling out “Kay!”
By the time Brian reached the bed, Mikayla was rushing in with Jaden on her hip. She took one look at them and took charge of the situation. She strode forward and pulled back the blankets on the bed. “Lay him down there and but don’t cover him yet.” She ordered.
Once he had AJ on the bed he found his hands full of his son. He took hold of him out of instinct. Mikayla stepped right up, gently shouldering Brian back a step so that she could sit on the edge of the bed. “AJ?” She called out gently, one of her hands resting on his cheek. “Can you hear me, hon?”
“I’m sleepy, Ma.” AJ mumbled, snuggling down into his robe. He shivered slightly. Alarm ran through Brian at AJ’s words. Ma?
That didn’t seem to faze Mikayla at all. She nodded her head and moved her hand to his forehead. “I understand you’re sleepy, honey.” She told him quietly. “Just a moment more. Let me look at you.” To Brian she said “Bring me my bag.”
It took Brian only a minute to bring her the medical bag she needed from where it was kept in the bathroom. When he brought it back over she pulled out a blood pressure cuff and a thermometer. “I need you to open up for me, AJ. Come on, open up. We need to take your temperature.”
AJ opened his mouth just barely, letting her put it under his tongue before closing it again. While that sat there, she strapped on the blood pressure cuff.
Anxiety had Brian feeling like a wire stretched taunt as he watched her do her examination. Jaden fussed lightly against him, catching his nerves. Brian shushed him and started to rock a little to soothe him. What was going on? Why was AJ acting this way? He was obviously disoriented, thinking that Mikayla was his Ma, not remembering why he was in the shower or if it was day or night.
He was startled from his thoughts when Mikayla pulled out her cell phone. As she dialed, she looked to Brian. “Stay calm, please.” She begged him gently. His hear skipped a beat when he saw she only dialed three numbers. Oh God. Three numbers. He knew what that meant. How could he not? Only one thing would she dial right now with only three numbers. 9-1-1.
Everything in him seemed to freeze. His eyes were locked on her as she spoke into the phone, relaying her name and the physical address from where she was calling. Her tone was very professional and calm. “Yes, I’m a registered nurse in the at home care of one Alexander James Littrell. He suffers from AIDS and has been sick with what was originally a mild case of gastroenteritis. Overnight it’s become more severe. Now he has a high fever, low blood pressure, sunken eyes, and he is delusional. I suspect moderate to severe dehydration.”
Dehydration? God, that wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all! Brian knew his thoughts sounded a little ridiculous but he couldn’t seem to stop it. He stayed in a haze, staring at his husband, as Mikayla finished the call. It took her calling his name three times to get his attention to snap back to her.
“Brian, I need you to go upstairs and get Jaden ready to go.” She told him calmly. “I’ll sit with AJ. Being his nurse, I’ll ride with him to the hospital in the ambulance. You get Jaden ready, pack a diaper bag, and you’ll have to drive and meet us there. He’s going to be fine, ok? We’ll get him there, get fluids in him, and he’ll be just fine. But you need to be calm. For AJ and for Jaden, ok?”
That last part was enough to bring Brian back under control. His brain snapped back on track with a little mental click. She was right. Now was not the time for panicking. Now was the time to do what needed to be done. He nodded at her, gave her a grateful smile, and carried Jaden out of the room and up the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything felt a little fuzzy. AJ licked at his lips, wondering why they felt so dry. Where on earth was he? Even as he thought it, a certain smell hit his nose and he knew where he was before he even opened his eyes. A hospital. That was the smell of a hospital. God knew he’d been in enough of them to start to recognize that smell.
Why the hell was he in a hospital? What the hell was he doing here? Sure, he’d been sick the past few days. Some diarrhea, some vomiting. Not too much sleep, either. But was that enough to hospitalize him? And why the hell didn’t he remember arriving here? His memories seemed fuzzy. He’d felt like shit, had been freezing, and had gone to take a shower. That was the last clear thing he remembered. After that it all seemed like things he’d dreamed.
He remembered dreaming he was a little kid again and his Ma was there, taking care of him. That thought hurt his heart. Those days were long gone. She wasn’t even a part of his life now. He needed to move past that.
Sweet Jesus but he was thirsty! He slowly opened his eyes, hoping someone would be there that could get him some water. His mouth felt as dry as the desert.
Sure enough, someone was there. Mikayla sat in a chair by his bed, a book open in her hands. He must have made some sound as he shifted because she looked up. At the sight of him awake a dazzling smile lit her face. “Well hello sleepyhead.”
AJ opened his mouth but found that his throat was too dry to say anything. The look Mikayla gave him said she’d anticipated that. She rose, grabbing a cup off the nightstand by AJ’s hospital bed. “Here, don’t talk yet.” She told him as she held the cup out, helping him get the straw into his mouth. “You got pretty sick there. All that fluid coming out of you wasn’t being replaced fast enough. You had a pretty bad case of dehydration.”
The water felt heavenly on his throat. After a few good drinks he felt capable of speaking. “Everything ok now?” he asked her. His voice was raspier than usual and he could most likely use more water, but at least his voice worked, thank God. Imagine being without a voice! Or having to live with that sandpaper feeling in his throat. Ew.
“Better. You’ll be staying overnight, just to keep the fluids in and to make sure the diarrhea and such is under control. There’ve been no real problems since you showed up, but then again you did went out in the ambulance after they put the IV in you.”
“I passed out?” The last word barely came out. Mikayla hushed him and held the cup up so he could take another drink. “You didn’t pass out. You fell right asleep. Haven’t been getting enough rest lately, just like I told you last night. With this hitting, your body didn’t want to fight anymore. Once the fluid was going in you just went out like a light.”
A few careful movements showed that his body aches weren’t as bad as they had been lately. He had enough energy to reach up with the hand that didn’t have an IV and take the cup from her. “I do feel better.” He admitted. It was getting easier to talk, the more that he drank. At her warning he made sure he only took little drinks, trying to space them out. But he had to ask one very important question. “How’s Brian? He at home with Jaden?”
A scoffing sound from the door drew AJ’s attention. Looking over, he saw Brian, Jaden on his hip, Kevin, Howie, and Nick. For a moment that threw him. What were they all doing there? Then he remembered that it was almost Christmas and they had all made plans to come out for the holiday. Just great. Perfect timing.
The scoffing sound had come from Brian. He shook his head at AJ. “You think we’d just stay at home?” He asked. There was a smile forming on his face. He moved easily into the room and up to AJ’s bedside. “We’ll go home tonight cause of Jaden, but we weren’t leaving until we knew you were doing ok.” Bending, he kissed AJ’s forehead lightly.
AJ shifted to try to kiss him but was stopped when Brian shook his head. Hurt flashed first. What the hell? But Brian whispered an explanation. “Your lips were a little cracked at the end there from the vomiting and the dehydration. Until they heal, baby, I’m not supposed to kiss you.”
Oh. That made logical sense. Cracked lips were open wounds, right? Well, not totally, but he could feel one spot now that he thought about it that was cracked pretty bad. It must have left a cut on his lip. Well shit. That fucking sucked. He looked over at his son and realized that he couldn’t kiss him either. Shit. That hurt. Oh, that really hurt.
Jaden’s face kept AJ’s attention. The little boy looked scared, tears standing in his eyes. He had his face buried against Brian’s shoulder, just barely peeking out at AJ. This whole thing must have terrified him. That thought hurt too. He’d scared his son. This may have been the first hospital trip that Jaden had witnessed, but it made AJ want to cry to know that it wouldn’t be the last.
Without looking, AJ held the cup out. Mikayla took it from him just as he’d known she would. For the moment he concentrated on nothing else but Jaden. No one else mattered. “Hey, little buddy. How you doing?” He reached a hand out as he spoke in as gentle a voice as possible.
Jaden stayed hidden, despite AJ taking hold of his hand. Brian moved closer to the bed so that AJ didn’t have to stretch too far. He was thankful the bed was in the sitting up position instead of laying down. That made it easier for him to hold on to his son’s tiny hand.
“Hey now, why the sad face? Daddy’s fine, baby. Everything’s ok.” AJ reassured him. There was a slight softening to Jaden’s posture, but he was still obviously nervous and confused and scared. So AJ did the only thing he could think of. He reached out and hooked Jaden under his armpits, lifting him off Brian’s hip and pulling him into his lap. It took way more effort than he had thought it would, but he did it.
Mikayla made to protest, but something stopped her. What, AJ didn’t care. He sat Jaden in his lap and wrapped an arm around him, curling him against the side of his body that didn’t have the IV tubes. Jaden snuggled in easily, his head pillowing on AJ’s shoulder, his thumb going to his mouth. AJ pulled him in as close as he could without squeezing him. “See, everything’s just fine. Daddy just had to see the doctor for a while. But don’t you worry about me, I’ll be ok. You’ll just have to be good for Papa till I come home, ok?”
Giving Jaden another hug, AJ tried to lighten his mood. He sat the boy up and tweaked his nose, earning him a small smile, though the thumb stayed in Jaden’s mouth. “Hey now, sad sack, none of this. I want some smiles from you. I’ll tickle them out of you.” With one hand he tickled the little boy’s cheek, making him squirm an giggle. This time Jaden’s smile came out full blown.
Ah, to have the problems of a child. Life was so easy when everything could be solved by a reassuring word and a smile from a parent. Now that Jaden was smiling again AJ felt free to look up at the others and offer then a wan smile. “Hello, all.”
“You’re getting awfully good and worrying us, short stack.” Kevin teased him as he walked over.
“I think he just likes wearing those hospital gowns.” This time it was Howie who was teasing him.
Nick grinned and took the chair by Mikayla. “Shit, he just likes the attention.”
Five faces turned to him and glared. “Language.” Brian warned him. A blush filled Nick’s cheeks. “Sorry, sorry! Habit.”
“Well, keep that habit away from my mini recorder’s ears, please.”
While they bickered, Jaden reached out and tugged on the front of AJ’s gown. He looked down at the boy on his lap and smiled. “What, honey?”
“Oo’s!” Jaden cried out. “Oo’s! Oo’s!”
Hearing him, Brian laughed. He ran a hand fondly over Jaden’s soft hair. It was Howie who spoke up and asked “What’s so funny?”
“Oo’s!” Jaden demanded again, a little more firmly. His eyebrows drew down. “Daddy!”
Chuckling, AJ held up a hand. “Ok, ok. Demanding, aren’t you, little one?” But he was still chuckling as he moved the blanket enough that both his arms were exposed. He crossed the one over his stomach so that it was right in front of Jaden. The other, the one with the IV, he lifted so he could point to each of his tattoos, telling Jaden what they were as he did. It was something that the little boy just loved to do. “Here’s the comedy mask.” He said, tracing the mask with his finger. Jaden echoed the motion.
Each tattoo he traced over for the little boy, ignoring the chuckles of his friends. Then he did the one that Jaden loved the most. He moved the sleeve off his shoulder and revealed the handprint that was tattooed there. At birth they’d made ink prints of Jaden’s hands and feet in his baby book. AJ had taken those in and tattooed Jaden’s right hand on the front of his left shoulder and his left hand on the front of his right shoulder.
As always, Jaden matched his hand up to the print. “Me!” he cried out.
“Yep, those are for you, little one.”
AJ blinked, trying to force his eyes to stay open. They were feeling slightly heavy. But he should have known that Mikayla would spot it. She was by his bed in an instant, taking hold of his hand. “You need to go back to sleep, AJ. Your body had been through…heck. You should rest so you can be well enough to go home tomorrow.”
“Mm, maybe.” He mumbled. He was tired, that was true. But he didn’t want to let Jaden and Brian leave. That thought was selfish enough to have him pulling Jaden in for a hug and passing him back to Brian. He couldn’t be selfish; it was wrong. “Maybe just a little nap.”
Brian leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “We’ll be back bright and early in the morning for you, husband. Don’t worry. You’ll sleep right through the night and barely notice we’re gone.”
Sleep was starting to pull him down a little. Man, that had come out of nowhere and just slapped him in the face, hadn’t it? “Love you, Bri. Love you, Jaden.”
“Love you too, husband.” Brian’s hand stroked down his face. “Get some sleep.”
With a soft sigh, AJ gave in and did what he was told. He slept.