AJ didn’t get the chance to see Brian again until they arrived at the next hotel. He’d slept his way through the pit stop, so he’d missed seeing him there. Hell, he’d barely woken up to get his bag and climb off the bus. Thank God they were at the entrance inside the parking garage. It made it easier to get in without the crowds of girls clamoring over to them.
Yawning, AJ stumbled his way off the bus. He rubbed at his bleary eyes and adjusted the headphones he’d fallen asleep wearing. Music still played in his ears. What it was he didn’t even remember and couldn’t get his brain to register. Who cared?
Howie passed him by, bumping his arm and chuckling as he headed toward the front desk. AJ just grumbled and kept stumbling along. If he had things his way he’d go straight upstairs after getting his key and go to bed.
He barely registered as Howie came over and gave him his key and told him his room number. Then his best friend was leading him toward the elevator. God bless Howie. The man knew him perfectly, and knew that he was still mostly asleep.
Inside the elevator AJ leaned in the corner, letting his head rest against the wall. He rubbed at his eyes again, trying to chase the crusty feeling away. Vaguely he heard others step in, and voices talking, but he paid no attention.
There was a dinging sound, and someone took hold of his hand, leading him out. Assuming it was Howie, AJ leaned his head over to rest it on his shoulder as he let out another yawn. God Almighty he was freaking tired. He’d spent most of his nights lately thinking about Brian. It was wonderful, but not very conducive to sleep.
When his head lay against his friends shoulder he felt an arm come up in response, letting go of his hand to wrap around his shoulders. AJ didn’t question it and snuggled in. About the time they reached his door was when he realized that it wasn’t Howie leading him. Wrong height, wrong build. Hell, even a different smell. That was a cologne he would recognize instantly. At least, when he was more awake. This was Brian.
He didn’t say anything. Simply let Brian take his key and open his door and then lead him into the room. Once he was in AJ let his bag drop off his shoulder and allowed Brian to lead him back to the bedroom. Honestly, it was making him even more tired, knowing that it was Brian. His body seemed to sigh into the other man and grow more relaxed with his presence.
Brian gently led him to the bed and pulled the sheets back. Then he sat AJ down before squatting to take his shoes off. AJ opened sleepy eyes, unable to stop his smile as he looked down at the top of Brian’s curly head. “What’re you doing?” he mumbled out. The words didn’t sound as clear as he’d hoped for.
Looking up, Brian flashed him a grin so happy and so sweet that it rocked AJ back for a second. “What does it look like, Age? I’m getting your shoes off so you don’t dirty the bed.”
He couldn’t really speak. Who could, faced with that devastating smile and those bright eyes. God, Brian was beautiful. At first AJ didn’t realize that he’d said that out loud. But Brian had finished with his shoes by then, and he looked up at him with a sparkle to his eyes and a shy smile. His cheeks had a little bit of color to them. “You think so?” he asked AJ quietly.
Shit. He had said it out loud. Well, hell, it was worth it to have Brian looking at him like that. Pleased, and flattered, even if he did look a little doubtful.
Waking up slightly, AJ gave him a warm smile. This was a moment that called for honesty and bluntness. He let his eyes drift over Brian’s face and body before coming back up to his eyes. “Oh yeah. I love your curls, Bri. I’ve always wanted to just run my fingers through them.”
Brian brought a hand up and touched at a curl by his ear, his smile growing a little, his blush getting a little deeper. AJ stifled a groan and continued to talk.
“When you blush like that, it makes my heart race. You have the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. Hell, I even like the lines around your mouth and eyes that show how much you love to smile and laugh. You have gorgeous blue eyes that are like looking into the ocean. Your lips, well, we won’t go there. They make me think naughty things that I probably should be saying to you.”
“Really?” The surprise in Brian’s voice was what did AJ in. He groaned.
“God, yeah, Brian. You have a mouth made to be kissed. Anybody with a pulse would wonder what it’s like to kiss you.”
To the shock of both of them, Brian asked him “Then why haven’t you tried?”
AJ reached up and pulled his headphones off, his eyes staying locked on to Brian’s. Had he really just heard him say that? He saw the nerves flash in Brian’s eyes, but then something in them firmed, almost as if he had made a decision and was not going to be swayed from it. “Do you want me to kiss you, Brian?” He asked, his voice still raspy from sleep.
As if he couldn’t find the words he wanted, Brian gave a small, barely perceptible nod. Every part of AJ suddenly came on alert.
He brought one of his hands to Brian’s face, gently cupping his cheek. This was going to be their first kiss, and AJ wanted to make it something special. He felt the slight tremor in his hand and wished that he could still it. God, he’d wanted to do this for so long! To think that Brian was here, right now, still kneeling before him, and looking up at him with trust in those beautiful blues. It was amazing.
Ever so gently he bent down until their faces were close. He watched Brian’s eyes slide shut on a soft breath. AJ brought his other hand up so that Brian’s face was framed beneath him. For just a moment he studied the features that he loved so much. Then he couldn’t resist anymore.
He leaned in, letting their lips barely touch, just brushing them against one another. Getting the feel of each other. Then he pressed their lips against one another, kissing him so sweetly and with all the love in his heart. Brian’s hands came up, resting lightly on his wrists, not pulling him back but more holding on as the kiss took them both under.
It was heaven. Brian had the softest, most delicious lips of anyone that AJ had ever kissed. He pulled back, then pressed in again. He felt Brian sigh into him, his lips relaxing open slightly, and couldn’t resist letting his tongue out to trace the curve of that bottom lip, tasting him.
Much to his shock he felt Brian’s tongue quest out, brushing against his own. AJ moaned into their kiss and fully gave himself over to it. With lips and tongues they touched and tasted and teased until they were forced to pull back and draw air.
Still holding Brian’s face between his hands, their faces only a few inches apart, AJ watched as Brian slowly opened his eyes. There was nothing in them but desire and not a love, not yet, but a caring. A start of love. There were none of the shadows that usually sat there. It was such an open expression and it left AJ feeling about ten feet tall. “It was better than I ever imagined it would be.” He told Brian softly.
The corners of Brian’s mouth curved, his lips still slightly swollen from their kiss. It made AJ want to lean in and taste again, and continue tasting and kissing and love until there was nothing left between them. But he knew that this wasn’t the time. He had to take things slow with Brian. He was too important to mess things up with.
“You amaze me, Alex. You touch me in places I thought were dead.”
There was nothing that he could say to that. After a moment Brian smiled and stood, taking hold of AJ’s hands and holding them in his own for a moment. “I wanted to come in here to tell you thank you for the flowers. For thinking of me, and knowing what I would like.”
Almost hesitantly Brian let go of AJ’s hand and brought his own up to smooth down some of AJ’s flyaway hair.
“You’re welcome, Brian. I just wanted to make you smile.” AJ admitted softly to him. Neither was talking very loudly. The mood of the room seemed to call for quietness and gentleness.
Leaning in, Brian pressed a soft kiss to AJ’s forehead. “That’s what made them so special.” He whispered against his skin.
Reluctantly the two let go of one another. Brian gestured AJ down, and then surprised him by sweetly tucking him into the bed. He brushed the hair back from AJ’s face and smiled down at him. “Get some sleep, Alex. I’ll wake you up later before we have to go.”
On quite feet Brian moved toward the door, shutting off the light as he went. Just as he started to shut the door he paused, turning to look back at the bed. “Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
AJ lifted his head a little. “For what?”
For just a second some of the pain flashed back in Brian’s face. “For caring about me enough to be patient. I know I’m not the easiest person right now, and I know you don’t understand why I am the way I am. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give you what you want. But you still try, and you make me feel almost special again. You haven’t given up on me.”
AJ pulled himself up on one elbow. “I’ll listen to you if you ever want to tell me, but I won’t push you for your story. Your pain is your own unless you choose to share it. You’re not difficult for me, Bri. I’m always going to be there for you, however you need me to be. I told you I wouldn’t give up on you, and I meant it. As for giving me what I want, well, what I want is simple. I just want you to be happy.”
Even in the dark room AJ could see the tears glistening in trails down Brian’s cheeks. “I think you actually mean that.” He whispered in a voice hoarse with emotion. “And that means more to me than you’ll ever know. I could easily come to love you, if I let myself. Sometimes I think I already do, and that terrifies me.”
On those cryptic words, Brian shut the door and headed out to the main door and then out of the hotel room. Once AJ heard the second door shut he flopped back on the pillows, his brain reeling. Jesus, that man could tangle him in knots. AJ wished he knew what had hurt him so much that he was terrified of love. He wished he could hold him and chase it away.
The only thing he could do was what he was currently doing. Smiling to himself, AJ thought about what else he had planned as he drifted off to sleep.