Wind whipped around the campsite, stirring up the trees. It played with the edges of the tents and made the fire dance. Brian paid no attention to it. All of his attention was focused on the man who stood a few yards away at the edge of the cliff. AJ was looking out at the landscape below them. He had changed almost the instant they’d reached their camp, trading his bloody clothes for a loose fitting set of pants and a loose white button up shirt. He looked yet again like a pirate. The wind was whipping his clothes around him, as well as the sash he wore at his waist.
Brian had yet to try to go to him. He felt that, more than anything, AJ needed some time alone. What he felt through their connection was such a jumble of emotions that he knew AJ would need time to sort it out on his own. But it took every last ounce of his control to sit there and stare at the fire as if he had nothing else to do.
His heart ached with everything that he felt, and everything that was boiling through AJ. It was as if the two were feeding off of one another.
A hand touched Brian’s arm, startling him. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard anyone come up to him, or even felt them come close. He sighed. Who knew how long it would take before he automatically sensed someone coming the way that AJ did.
“Brian.” Isleen said softly. Just his name, but it was enough. In that word he heard her sympathy and understanding. Her small hand found his, holding it lightly. By now Brian had learned that she was an empath, so he knew that she was feeling what he did. Somehow that made it easier to bear. To know that he wasn’t alone in the sensations that raged through him.
For a while he sat there, his eyes closed, relishing the comfort that her small hand brought to him. But when he felt AJ start back toward them, his eyes snapped open. A minute later AJ was beside him, looking down. There was so much in his eyes that Brian wanted to cry for him. For a moment they just stared at one another, looking into the others eyes, relishing in the closeness. After the drama they’d lived in it almost seemed surreal to be standing side by side.
AJ didn’t speak, but his eyes said volumes. In tune to that, Brian rose to his feet. He felt Isleen let go of his hand before she slid away to the forest to join the others in their hunting.
The couple moved toward one of the tents. Brian hadn’t been sure how AJ would feel about being together after what they had went through. A part of him admitted that he wasn’t sure how he’d do alone with him. But AJ climbed inside of one tent and held the flap open for Brian to climb inside. Then he zipped it shut and moved to sit cross legged on top of the sleeping bags. Brian sat across from him, their knees almost touching.
When AJ lifted his eyes, the emotion in them stunned Brian, taking his voice away. He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak; could think of nothing beyond the pain he saw there. It was a reflection of his own, yet so much worse. The hoarseness to AJ’s voice when he spoke was just another tear to Brian’s heart. “I know you probably have so many questions. I know you’re probably furious with me, and hurt, and that there’s nothing I can say to make it better. To take away what…what he did.”
Now Brian was speechless for a totally different reason. Furious? “Why would I be mad at you?” He managed to ask.
It was AJ’s turn to look surprised. “If it wasn’t for me you would have never been here. You never would have been anywhere near Roth. If I had been paying more attention, I would have seen him coming at us. I would have stopped him. But I let you get taken, and you were hurt just because I love you. Because of things he thinks I did in my past.”
“Alex, none of this is your fault.” Brian said slowly. He wanted to be careful with his words so that AJ would believe him. “You can’t take responsibility for his actions. Nothing he did would ever make me not want to be with you, or resentful of any of our time together.” As he spoke the words, Brian realized exactly how true they still were. That broken part of his heart still hurt, but he felt it start to heal. “I want, no, I need you in my life.” He reached a hand out, lightly brushing the back of it against AJ’s cheek. His love closed his eyes on a sigh.
“You’re better than I deserve.” AJ whispered.
In that instant, Brian saw a way to both give and take comfort. He turned his hand, cupping AJ’s cheek. “Will you lay here and hold me? It’s all I’ve wanted now for days. I just need to feel your arms.”
Magic tingled across Brian’s skin seconds before he felt himself being lifted up off the sleeping bags. He looked down, amused, as the bags opened and the two men were set back down. AJ took hold of Brian and laid them down before using air to move the tops of the sleeping bags back over them. Then he wrapped Brian tightly in his arms.
No more words were needed. After the hell they had lived in, all they wanted was one another. Nothing else mattered. Not much later the two drifted to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was the magic that woke Brian. He felt it against his skin and was instantly awake. The next thing he noticed was the wind. He heard it whipping at their tent, inside their tent, like the center of a windstorm. What registered finally was the body that was thrashing in his arms and the hoarse cries that slid past AJ’s lips. The tent suddenly tore away from them with a wild gust of wind.
The magic that was coming from AJ fairly crackled in the air around them. Brian clung tightly, looking at AJ’s face. His partner was sleeping. Oh God, a nightmare. Sweet Jesus. That meant that AJ wasn’t controlling his magic. It was coming from him while he dreamt.
Instinct took over when Brian felt the earth start to rumble underneath them. He wrapped AJ tighter in his grip and wove each element together, taking the shield that he had learned from Howie and expanding on it. He wrapped it around the two of them, containing AJ’s magic inside of it. Doing that allowed him to finally shake him. “AJ! Alex! Wake up!” he shouted, shaking him again.
Outside of the bubble they had created, Brian saw the others gathering, linking hands around them. They formed a shield of their own, one that Brian could faintly see through his. But he had no time. AJ’s body bowed up again with yet another soul splitting scream.
AJ’s eyes snapped open and locked on Brian. In them Brian could see the madness that AJ’s captivity had created. It burned brightly. Like reached to like. Though his wasn’t as severe, and the pain no where near as strong, he recognized the madness because a trace of it resided in his mind. No one could live through what they had without tasting that.
“Oh baby.” He whispered. Brian didn’t think about what he was doing. He ran solely off of instinct, and knowledge of the one that he loved. Using their bond, this bond that was still so new to him, he sent love and reassurance. He did something that he had never guessed was possible, and something that, in his right mind, he might never have done. Yet right at that moment, it felt right.
He stared into AJ’s eyes, stared at the face of madness that lurked there, and opened the line between them. Opened it wide enough that he was no longer just himself. He was AJ, and AJ was him. There was no separation between them. He heard AJ’s gasp of shock vaguely, but he felt it more. AJ’s shock was his shock. Their feelings were one.
In opening this, he let AJ see the darkness in his own mind. The memories that he had been terrified of showing to him. The moments with Roth that he had thought he would never be able to show to AJ. The memory of fingers breaking, forced not to heal, only to turn around and heal one by one, in a slow agonizing pain. Memories of the rape. Of being bent on all fours; forced to do things with his hands and his mouth that he had never done for any but the man he loved. Things that made him feel dirty.
There was hesitation in AJ, a part of himself that was trying to hold back. Brian didn’t. He gave his all over to the connection. Everything else around him disappeared, until he was blinded to everything but them. The people around him, their magic, the shield. It was all gone. None of it mattered to him. He gave himself up to AJ, heart and soul.
He felt AJ shy away from him in pain and shame. As clear as if the words were spoken, Brian heard him, heard his thoughts. I did this to you. Because of me you lived through this. You were hurt this way. Because of who I am and what he thinks I did. I should never have touched you. I should never have tried to reach for our love. Because of it you’re hurt.
Brian let his love for AJ fill him to the brim, knowing that AJ would feel it. He felt his own guilt for AJ’s pain, and offered it up to his lover. If you don’t hate me, then how can I hate you? If I hadn’t been captured, you never would have been Brian thought at him. You traded your body for mine; took pain that should have been mine. You took my place. Do you hate me for it?
Surprise arced through AJ. No!
A smile filled Brian like liquid sunshine. Then can’t you see how I don’t hate you? All I feel is love. I love you. Share this with me as I shared mine. Nothing between us. Too much for just one, but together we can carry this load. Together, we’re enough.
Still there was hesitation on AJ’s part. I don’t feel fully sane anymore AJ admitted to him. The things he did to me….I would not have this darkness touch you.
Again Brian brought his memories up, making sure that AJ could see all of him. He could feel that same darkness in his own soul and brought it out, touching it to the areas of AJ’s darkness. The same. Like recognizes like Brian whispered to him.
Slowly, AJ started to unfurl from himself. He opened, little by little, letting his memories go. It was reluctant at first, small pains, small thoughts. But Brian took them into himself as AJ had taken his. The more he took, the more AJ offered, until nothing was separate anymore. The memories weren’t just one or the others, they were the same. What had happened to AJ was now Brian’s as well, the same as if he’d lived it. What happened to Brian was AJ’s, the same as if he had lived it. There was no distinction between the two. The light and dark both, they shared. In the place of it all was a joy and love that left them thrilled.
The magic between them slowly started to fade away, now that this peace had been found. Sight and sound returned to them both. As it did, the others around them carefully dropped their shield.
Brian looked into the eyes he loved so much. They glowed at him, a side effect of strong magic. It was still in him, but under more control. It hummed across AJ’s skin, looking for an outlet, needing something as a release. A thought shimmered from AJ to Brian, and Brian smiled at him. Almost as one, the two moved to stand. He knew what AJ needed, and let him know that it was ok, that he understood. AJ needed to separate from them for a while. To take his magic and funnel it, and find the peace inside again, on his own. To ground and center himself.
Once they were on their feet, AJ stepped forward and kissed Brian, their magic sparking between their lips. “Thank you.” AJ said hoarsely when he pulled back. Brian kissed him one last time before AJ walked away. He didn’t go far away; in fact, he was close enough for them to still talk to him, or hear him if he spoke, but he sat on the ground and crossed his legs, going into his meditation pose.
He looked back to the others, saw the looks on their faces. “He needs to meditate.” Brian explained to them. They nodded at him. One thing all of them knew was the way that magic worked. After having his come on him in a dream, AJ needed space to control it again.
It was Howie who broke the tension around them. “God, I forgot what it was like to be that close to that strong of magic.” He said huskily, rolling his head to stretch out his muscles. “Fuck, couldn’t he have done this somewhere I could go burn this out in a good way?”
Laughter echoed around them as they moved to light a fire and wait for their friend to come back to them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even as they sat at the fire, the group of them, and talked softly amongst themselves, Brian kept an eye on AJ. Power hummed around him, very lightly, but enough to be almost like a second skin. Slowly it was changing as the meditation did its job, but it was still pretty strong. Everything about AJ’s posture spoke of exhaustion.
Yet, suddenly, his head shot up, his gaze locking on something that none of them could see. Brian wasn’t the only one to look around for a threat.
Hyper aware of things as they were, it surprised everyone when a smile bloomed on AJ’s face and he held his hands out in front of him, cupped together. A minute later Brian received yet another shock. In AJ’s cupped palms stood the smallest figure that Brian had ever seen. What he saw instantly put him in mind of the fairies in children’s books. Whatever it was glowed softly, almost like the light of a firefly.
“Aishee.” AJ breathed softly. There was pleasure on his face; happiness in his voice that had been lacking. Whoever this small creature was, it’s mere presence was pleasant for AJ, and for that purpose alone Brian would have found himself liking it.
The little shape glowed briefly, a small pulse. Then it spoke in a clear, high voice. “Well met Alyck, Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr. So you call, and so I come, ever and always to serve.” The voice was decidedly female, and spoke with an accent that Brian couldn’t quite place. He found himself fascinated by this little fairy.
“Well met indeed, Aishee merch Bwylla.” Something flashed over AJ’s face momentarily, a slight grimace, a hint of hesitation, and then he spoke again, the words seemingly drawn from him. “So you come, and so I call, ever and always I serve, ever and always I protect.”
His response must have pleased her, because her light pulsed again, a brilliant white. “You remember the ways, though the time has been long, Alyck. That is good. So few know us anymore, or call to us. We had thought those that know or care for our fate were lost to us.”
“Never lost to you, Aishee. My oaths hold, from now till time is gone. Ever will the Tylwyth Teg be on my mind, in my heart, and part of my soul.” His words had the feel of an age old ritual, one spoken many times. It drew Brian in so that he could look nowhere but at them. “How fare the fey? My heart gladdens to see you, yet fear leaks in to see the call answered so quickly. What has driven mine little lights from their home?”
Aishee’s light pulsed again, but this time the color was dimmer, and leant itself more to sadness. Just watching that had Brian’s eyes watering for her.
“Much has changed, Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr. Our home is not as you last left it.” The slight glow she maintained shifted, and Brian knew that she was looking over to where he and the others sat. They were all watching avidly, each with different expressions. Howie’s was curious; Isleen looked as if she was in awe; Geoff and Richard were both watching in the way that a soldier watches; Marzio and Sofia were clasping hands and watching with looks of joy mingled with sadness. “I see familiar faces by your fire. But there is one I do not know. He is clouded from mine vision.”
AJ turned his eyes to Brian, offering him a gentle smile. He gestured with his eyes for Brian to join them. Brian moved slowly, as if there was a spell over the glade that he feared would break. Magic seemed to sing across his skin, calling to the core in him. It grew stronger as he knelt beside AJ, facing the small fairy.
“It is I who has shielded him, Aishee, for the safety of us and those around, for his is young yet and his internal shields need practice. I seek to muddy his essence before those that wish us harm.” AJ inclined his head from Aishee to Brian. “Allow me to make introductions. Aishee merch Bwylla, priestess of the Tylwyth Teg, meet well he who is the ffrind of Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr, Brian mab Harold.”
Brian guessed that ‘mab’ must be something along the lines of ‘son of’. Which must mean that merch would count as ‘daughter of’. What the rest of it meant, he wasn’t sure.
In the back of his mind, Brian felt AJ’s presence on their link, strong enough to feel what AJ said was the respectful way to respond to this. Brian bowed his head lightly, saying “Well met, Aishee merch Bwylla. You honor me with your glorious presence.” There was a soft hum in Brian’s mind that let him know AJ was pleased with his words. Following the rest of the directions, Brian held his hands up in a mirror image of AJ’s, cupped together as if to hold water.
After a seconds hesitation, Aishee said “Well met, Brian mab Harold. The honor is mine to meet one who is ffrind to the Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr.” This close Brian could see her features much more clearly. He was surprised to find that she was very obviously nude, with skin the color of moonlight, her hair white enough to almost match her skin. Large blue eyes dominated her face, so guileless and sweet that he thought he would never tire of looking at them. Her wings looked like a butterflies wings, yet they glowed with her light, making them look even more delicate. She was smiling at him, which set his heart at ease.
Then, Aishee leapt lightly into his hands. The instant her feet touched his skin, she gasped and flew into the air, hovering between the two of them. Brian stared up at her in shock. When they had touched he had felt the brief surge to his magic, straight down to the core of himself.
Her light flickered brightly for a moment, and then she dropped down to the ground, and Brian could barely tell that she was kneeling. He looked to AJ in confusion, but all he saw on his lovers face was surprise. “Alex?” he whispered to him. “What’s going on?”
“What did you feel?” AJ asked him slowly, never taking his eyes off of Aishee.
Brian bit his bottom lip. “She…it was like she shocked me, almost.”
Below them Aishee pulsed again, her light flaring briefly. “Please, I meant no harm.” She begged them.
It was AJ who brought his cupped hands town, holding them before her and whispering in a language that Brian didn’t know. When he was done Aishee stayed on the ground only a moment longer, and then she stepped into AJ’s hands. He brought them back up so she was back to eye level with them.
“It has been long since I have touched the duw ddi-lw, Alyck.” She spoke, dropping the titles. “I had forgotten the power that goes to the touch.”
“You mean he has the touch of the Duw to you, mine Aishee?” AJ asked in surprise.
Her light flickered in colors, white to grey to yellow and green. “Surely this is something you know?” she asked. At the shake of his head, she gasped. “But have you not sensed it? I was blind when you named him your ffrind. It has been years since duw ddi-lw have been around for mine to touch to them. He is the Duw Tân ac Awyr to your Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr.”
Behind them a voice rose, and it was Geoff’s voice, drawing them from their spell. “What going on, Alyck? Even I felt the magic pulse. What did she call you and Brian?”
AJ turned his eyes to look at Brian, but he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. “Her people, my fey, have a very straight set of beliefs in some areas. There are some who are immortal in their books, like all of you. But those like me, like Brian, are touched by the Duw, the God. She says that Brian is duw ddi-lw, which means that he’s unsworn. A peace between his Duw touch and them has not been made, so his magic is too wild for them.
“They call me many names, but my first name to them, my common one, is your Duw o Ddaear a Dŵr, which is God of Earth and Water. Out of all my elements, you know those two are strongest for me.”
The look in AJ’s eyes grew even more intense, almost shutting out all around them. “She said that Brian is Duw Tân ac Awyr. God of Fire and Air.”