Exhaustion that went beyond the physical pulled at AJ. He moved his hands away from the dwarf he had been healing and checked his own handiwork. The gaping wound that had, moments before, showed the inside of the dwarfs stomach was now gone. Everything was back in its proper place, without even so much as a scar to show that it had ever been there.
The dwarf was helped away by others, all of them thanking AJ for his help. He gave them a weak smile as they walked away. Gods but he was tired. The price of using that much magic, as well as being under all the stress they’d just had, and the fury of being in battle, he was left feeling as if his energy was sorely depleted.
As he pushed himself up from the ground he had to admit to himself that it was probably true. There was only so much a body could do. Being immortal meant that his body healed faster. But it didn’t mean that he had an endless supply of energy. Being an elf didn’t change that either. Physically he had almost boundless energy on the average day. But when you use magic to the extent that he had been doing, it took away from your magical energy. Only rest could heal that.
There was still so much to be done. The dwarves that could were already preparing to mobilize. Every warrior that could be spared from their home was preparing to march as soon as the King gave word. That included the King himself. Cursha had already started the preparations even as AJ had headed out to the battlefield to assist in healing.
As soon as he could speak with Cursha and make sure they knew when to arrive, he needed to be off to speak with the goblins. That was, if Zee was rested enough.
Unable to help himself, AJ looked over to where Brian was rising from where he had just finished healing as well. The thought still shuddered through him that he could have lost Brian earlier. The very idea that Roth had managed to spell a weapon capable of doing that…the implications were terrifying. But AJ had been testing each spear he came across, and no others carried the spell on them. Not like the one he’d found in Brian. Which meant that one had been trusted with it and that also meant that Brian had been the specific target.
Roth sought ways to break them. To destroy them before they could stop him. Just him knowing that they would be here, on this very day, to plan an attack like this was bad enough. Gods, it was enough to make his blood chill. What else could he predict? AJ knew that through some blood magic you were capable of divining parts of the future. Blood magic had always repulsed him, but he believed in knowing your enemy, and had gained the knowledge at least of what it could do. Better forewarned and forearmed.
Dizziness took him for a second so that he had to bring a hand to his head to try to stave it off. Familiar hands took hold of him. When had Brian come over to him? There was no trouble in recognizing that touch. Or the voice that was filled with concern and command. “You need to lie down for a while, replenish your energy.”
“I’m fine.” He protested automatically. It took almost everything he had, but he forced his eyes to open and tried to keep steady on his feet. “There’s too much to do to be indulging in a nap right now, Bri.”
“Even the high and mighty trulion needs to rest when his energy is low.” Brian snapped at him. There was no mistaking the command in his voice this time. It amused AJ. He slanted Brian an amused look. His lover’s face was determined, and those beautiful eyes still held the glow of working with his magic. “You trying to boss me around, boy?”
“Trying? Shit, Alex. There’s no try to it.” Brian replied pertly. He started to move them out of the field. Despite his best efforts, AJ couldn’t bring himself to resist. It was as if his feet had a mind of their own. Well, shit, he really must be exhausted if he couldn’t even put up a fight against something. Especially if he couldn’t put up a fight against Brian. Man, they fought half the time just on principal alone. Not like they were really mad at one another. It was just fun to bicker.
Someone was talking to them. AJ blinked and looked around, realizing that they’d stopped for a minute, but then Brian had him moving again. One of Brian’s arms had come around his waist, holding him close. “This just isn’t right.” AJ mumbled.
He felt Brian chuckle. Still they walked on. “What’s not right, honey?”
“You bossing me around. Especially when you were the one hurt today. You should be going to rest.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m going to. I’ll rest with you. I’m not so stubborn that I can’t admit when I’m tired. I’m beat, like I’d exercised in a gym for a few hours, or done a week of non-stop touring.” Brian turned them. “You, on the other hand, seem to think you have to do everything and be everywhere at once. I think it took just as much to heal me as it did to be the one hurt.”
AJ knew he had a good argument for that. He just couldn’t think of what it was. But it was a good one!
Warm hands pressed on his shoulders. AJ realized that they’d stopped walking. Hands pressed him down so that he sat reflexively, and found himself on something soft and cushy. It felt like heaven. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just sit here for a while. Just a little while. Opening his eyes-when had he closed them again?-he looked behind him when a weight shifted the bed. Brian was stretching out on that soft bed.
Well, hell. Now that was really something he couldn’t resist. He lay down, snuggling right up against Brian’s side, wrapping an arm over Brian’s stomach, and flinging a leg over Brian’s leg. He heard the chuckle from deep in Brian’s chest as he laid his head down, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was Brian’s arm coming around him, and the warmth of that body against his, the heartbeat in his ear. His love was alive. Oh, thank God, he was still alive. That thought stayed in AJ’s mind as he drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For a long time Brian lay there and stared at the ceiling. He relished in the feeling of AJ curled against his side. Just hours ago he had seriously thought that he would die. Now to be here like this with his loved one was an amazing feeling. Belatedly Brian realized that they hadn’t washed the blood off of themselves before they’d climbed into this bed. The sheets would be ruined. But, he hadn’t lied to AJ. He was exhausted too. Right then getting up seemed too much of an effort.
So instead he lay there, and he let his mind wander while his body rested. He wondered what else Roth had in store for them. Weapons tipped with magic? How did he get the spell to stay attached, and not dissipate? Or lose its strength? If he had spelled something like that, could he do it with other things?
Thousands of things to think of. All of them demanded his attention, yet he couldn’t quite focus on them all. For hours he tried to sort through them and make sense of it.
What surprised him the most was that he’d been sure he would lie here and think only of those that he’d killed today. This was the first time in his life he’d been responsible for the death of another. But that part of things was firm and solid in his mind. Maybe if it had been a human, he would feel something about it. But Krutas weren’t human. They were beasts. If he hadn’t killed them, they would have killed everyone here. They were monsters in the truest sense of the word.
No, what he thought about, what he couldn’t get out of his mind, were the faces of those dwarves lying on the stone floor. Those he had been able to help, and those he hadn’t. Never in his life had he seen so much death. So much pain. It had felt good to be able to heal, but not good enough.
His heart broke at the thought of them rushing in; doing everything they could to defend their home. They had been cut down and hacked to pieces. Slaughtered. Tears filled his eyes, but he couldn’t close them. If he did, the faces of those dwarves would be waiting. For everyone two he had saved, it seemed he had found another that he couldn’t.
A hand cupped his cheek, startling him. He looked down and saw AJ’s face tipped up toward him. He’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t realized that AJ woke up.
“You did everything you could.” AJ said softly.
It no longer surprised Brian to have AJ guess his thoughts like that. It was just a part of who they were. A part of their relationship. “I see their faces, Alex. The ones I couldn’t save. If I close my eyes I see their faces, their eyes.”
AJ’s thumb ran over Brian’s temple, wiping at a tear that slipped free. “I wish I could tell you that it goes away. I wish I could say one day you’ll be able to do this without hurting. But I can’t.” He pushed up on one elbow so that he was looking down into Brian’s face. There was love and understanding in those eyes. “For those like you and me, people who actually care, it never goes away. You’ll always find yourself caring too much. It’ll hurt you to see any death, any pain. You’ll always want to help. It’s the day you lose that feeling that I’ll begin to worry.”
That smile that Brian loved so much spread over AJ’s lips, brightening up his face. It reached down into the part of Brian’s heart that was still bruised and soothed him. He felt his own smile build. “I love you, Alex.”
“I love you too, Brian. But, we both stink.”
That made the both of them laugh. In short order they moved into an adjoining room, which Brian had been told was a bathhouse. There was a large stone pool set into the ground full of water, though Brian couldn’t see any faucet or anything that would have filled the pool.
“Where we at?” AJ asked. He sat himself down on a bench and took a deep breath as he started to unlace his breeches.
“Durga is talking up with the King for a short while, and offered us his home. He said to tell you to make yourself at home. Whatever is his is yours. He asked me to make sure I said, oh, hell, let’s see if I can remember the words right.” Brian paused in the act of tossing his shirt to the ground. He scrunched his forehead as he tried to remember how Durga had worded it. “So long as the mountains stand tall, and earth stretches to the sea…”
“Welcome are you in my home, for ghrug we will be.” AJ finished softly. Amazingly there were tears standing in his eyes again. “Durga has accepted us into his home as one would a lost family member. He’s given us a high honor.”
AJ stood, and Brian had to reach out to steady him. He was still wobbly on his feet. “Are you sure you should be up, Alex?”
“I’m fine, Bri. Sleep won’t help much more. I need to bathe, meditate, and I need to go outside. Just like you. You need the sun and the fresh air as much as I need water and earth right now. We need nature to replenish ourselves.”
Helping one another in, the two men slid into the tub until they were up to their chins. AJ gave a lusty sigh before ducking his head under. Brian did the same thing. After a few dunks they had the blood out of their hair and off their faces. Then AJ pressed a stone to the side, and Brian watched as the water drained out the side. Once AJ let go of the stone, the tub filled again with the warm water.
One again Brian was caught in AJ’s gaze. The multi tones made it that much more powerful. Some errant thought must have come across their bone, because AJ suddenly asked “You know, that’s more than once from you I’ve got this thing about my eyes. What’s going on?”
Brian realized that he’d never got to really tell AJ what he’d seen. As an answer he gestured for AJ to look into the water. Watching his lovers face, he saw when AJ realized what he was talking about. “When did that one ring go from green to blue?” he whispered softly.
Shrugging, Brian watched him closely. “Not sure. What’s it mean?”
“It means that there’s no doubt I’m trulion. The only one I know who ever gets like this is the King. He’s of all elvish races at once. Not just one. Its what happens when he becomes kings.”
“Didn’t you say the trulion is almost like a king of kings? An advocate, an authority, for all races. To protect their greater good and such like that?” Brian asked him.
“Yeah…”
“Well, then, it makes sense. You have to represent all of the elves, not just one. That’s your ties there. Your ties with the others are oaths and bonds and such. But with the elves, you have to be all to be one.”
The look AJ gave him was slightly surprised, and full of love. “When’d you get to be so smart, lover?”
“Shit, Alex, it’s always been that way. You just haven’t been paying attention.”
AJ suddenly slid over to him, and Brian gasped as his lovers body curled around his. “I’ve been paying plenty of attention, Brian. Let me show you.” He said huskily. An there, in the water of the pool, he showed Brian exactly how much attention he’d been paying.