AJ was the first to rise in the morning. He stretched himself out, looking down at the peaceful face on the pillow next to him. Lazily he smiled. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect this man with him. No one meant more to him than Brian did. He wished he could take away the hurt that all of this caused him. Even in sleep Brian still had a small line between his eyebrows that showed he was stressed.
As carefully as possible AJ managed to extract himself from the sheets and climb out of bed. He took his bag with him into the bathroom and shut the door, hoping that would be enough to stop the sound of his shower.
Twenty minutes later when he snuck from the bathroom and out the bedroom, Brian was still sleeping.
He yawned to himself, sliding his hands into the front pouch of his hoodie. He’d opted for casual for the day, so he was only wearing jeans, a plain white tee, and his hoodie. It was freezing outside, which meant that even in the house he was cold.
In the kitchen and dining room area, Kevin was sitting at the table drinking his coffee while Kristen put pancakes onto a plate for her husband. She saw AJ first and gestured him toward a chair with her spatula. AJ followed her directions, sitting down across from Kevin. “Morning, Train.”
“Morning, short stack.”
The nickname would have made AJ roll his eyes, but Kristen set a cup of coffee in front of him and he smiled happily up at her. “Thank you.” He thought to himself that she had never looked more beautiful before. With a small swell to her stomach as the only indication of the life she carried, she looked cute in her morning sweats and t-shirt. Since Kevin had married her she had become almost like a sister to the other guys in the band, and she treated them all like her brothers. She must have read the look on his face because she started to laugh. “Don’t you start on me too, Mclean. I’m pregnant, not disabled. I can cook and serve my guests just fine.”
“But I’m not a guest, or so you always tell me. Is there anything I can do to help out?”
“Yes.” She said, smiling. “Sit there and tell us how Brian’s doing.” She brought Kevin’s plate over and set it in front of him. With a look she offered AJ some, but he shook his head, so she grabbed a bowl of fruit for herself and joined them at the table.
AJ stared down into his coffee, chewing slightly on his lip. “He’s holding together ok. Best as can be expected, I guess.” He admitted.
“Is it that bad, having everyone know?” Kevin asked him.
With a start, AJ realized that Brian had told Kevin everything before they’d figured out who did it. Oh God. A look of horror stole over his face, instantly putting Kristen and Kevin on alert. He ignored their questions for a moment. Oh, he so did not want to have to be the one to tell them this. But, as usual, Kevin saw to the heart of things. “You know something, and you don’t want to tell us.” He said bluntly, laying down his fork. “What is it?”
“You should really talk to Brian about this…” AJ tried to tell him.
“Alexander.” Just that one word, delivered in Kevin’s deep and commanding voice, and AJ felt like a kid called before his parent. Well, hell. He started to pick at his thumb and wish for a cigarette. “Fuck, Kev.” He finally said with a sigh. “You put a dude in a tough place.”
“Whatever it is, I have a feeling that I have a right to know.”
“No shit? But it’s something that would sound better from Brian than from me. I don’t know, I feel like I’m stepping on toes.” AJ tried to explain. He could tell that Kevin wasn’t having any of it. So, with another sigh, he tried to gently say what needed said. While, at the same time, trying to keep his temper under lock and key. “We were looking at the pictures that came out, and I tried to figure out when each one was taken. They were all taken inside the house around the same time.”
He looked away from Kevin, knowing that his eyes would betray the fury he still felt. “That meant that it was Howie, Nick, or Brian’s parents.”
The kitchen was quiet for a few moments. “Uncle Harold?” Kevin’s voice said in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”
AJ picked up his mug, shrugging before taking a drink. He still refused to meet Kevin’s eyes. There was so much anger still and he didn’t feel comfortable letting Kevin see it. Harold was Kevin’s family.
“But, he wouldn’t do something like this to Brian. He’s not a mean guy.” Kevin defended.
It took everything AJ had not to let the control over his temper fray. “Not mean?” he hissed out. His eyes drifted over to Kristen and he took an extra second to control himself. He would not start yelling in front of a woman, let alone a pregnant woman. His mother had raised him better than that. When he spoke again his voice was calmer. “Howie told me he forwarded the picture I sent him. You want to sit there and tell me that he’s not mean?”
“What picture?” Kristen asked.
The two men ignored her. Kevin ran a hand over his face as he tried to think. “I saw it, Age. It’s just…can’t you see how hard it is for me to believe? I’ve known Uncle Harold my whole life. I can’t imagine that he’d do anything like that.”
“Do what?” Kristen’s voice was more insistent this time. She looked from her husband to AJ and back again, eyes demanding an answer. AJ’s temper was high enough that he was willing to give her one. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and went to his sent text folder. He never deleted the stuff in there, so the text with the picture that he’d sent to Howie was still there. Once he’d opened it, he tossed it to Kristen. She picked the phone up and looked at it, gasping when she saw what was there. “Oh my God, what is this?”
“Oh so sweet Uncle Harold picked me up by my throat and slammed me into a fridge.” AJ said in a nasty voice. His eyes never left Kevin’s face. “Not long after that he threatened me outside of a restaurant and offered to buy me off if I’d leave Brian. Then, when we gave him another chance, he did everything he could to drive a wedge between us. He insulted me inside of my own home, and pushed me as far away from Brian as he could. And now, apparently, we discover he snapped pictures of us to sell to the media to further mess with our lives. Yes, he sounds like a model fucking citizen, doesn’t he?”
AJ shoved his chair back and turned, storming out the front door before his mouth could get the better of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
From the doorway Brian had watched the scene unfold. His heart bled a little as he listened to AJ talk. In his lovers voice he could hear how much everything Harold had done still bothered him. When this was over, Brian promised himself that he would spend the rest of his life making his partner smile. It would have amazed him to know that AJ was thinking the same thoughts about him.
The front door shut with a resounding slam that had Kevin jumping slightly. Brian crossed his arms over his chest, watching as Kevin sighed. “I don’t know what to do, Kris.” He said to his wife. “It’s so hard to think of Uncle Harold doing this.”
“Evidence is stacked against him, honey. Neither Brian or AJ are liars.”
“I know. But, if he did this…how can I look at him ever again? He had to know how much this would hurt Brian, and so far it sounds like everything he’s done has been to hurt AJ or chase AJ away.”
That was when Brian chose to let his presence be known. He cleared his throat and walked over to where AJ had been sitting. Smiling, he sat down and picked up AJ’s still warm coffee cup. Almost instantly Kristen started to rise. “Let me get you a fresh cup, Bri.” But he held a hand out and motioned for her to sit. “This is fine, Kris. He won’t be back before it cools off anyways.”
His cousin gave him a deep look. “You were watching when he left.” It was said as an accusation, not a question. Brian grinned at him and took a drink off his coffee. It was still warm enough to be good. “I came up about the time that you said that Dad’s not mean.” Brian admitted without shame.
Reaching over he took AJ’s phone from off the table and put it into his shirt pocket. He’d dressed simply when he woke, with just a button up long sleeved flannel shirt and his jeans. With that sad smile he looked back to Kevin. “You can believe what you want to, Kev. But I don’t have any doubts in my mind that he’s the one that leaked the pictures that he most likely took himself. As for what’s in the picture Howie sent out, well, I was there.”
He drained his coffee cup, looking down inside of it for a minute, thinking back to that day. “I grabbed his arm to try and pull him off when AJ’s face was turning red and his feet were kicking around to try to find something to stand on. I watched for days as the bruises darkened before starting to fade away. They’re just about gone now, but I call still see that small hint of them on his skin.
“The rest of it is up to you on how you feel. I know what I know, and I know what I want to do about it. I really appreciate you guys letting us stay here last night, but I really want to get a start over to Dad’s house now. Is the offer to borrow the car for the day still open?”
“It is.” Kristen said softly. She rose from her chair and went to the pegboard that held al of their keys. She brought a set over to him. Before giving them to him she paused and cupped his face in her hands. “Don’t let others ruin your happiness.” She whispered.
A smile curved Brian’s lips. “I don’t plan on it, not anymore.”
With that Brian rose and went back to the bedroom to put his shoes on and grab shoes for AJ. Kevin and Kristen were gone from the kitchen when he passed back through and he figured that was a good thing. Right at the moment Kevin had a lot to think about. Brian didn’t have time to spare to worry about Kevin. He had his own problems to deal with.
Brian pressed the button on the keypad, making whichever car he had keys for beep. He smiled when he saw she’d given him a work truck. Kevin had a love for building things and Kristen loved to grow things. So this was the truck they used to haul supplies.
He climbed in and started the engine, taking a moment to remind himself how to drive stick. As the car idled for a minute he tossed AJ’s shoes on the passenger seat. It was going to be a hard morning, once they got to his parent’s house. How it would go, he had no idea. But he didn’t delude himself into thinking that it would be pleasant. Nothing about this was going to be pleasant. But he knew he had to do it, or he would never really be at peace.
A part of him admitted that he hoped his Dad would be able to answer his questions. To explain, more than anything, why he would do this. Why he would try to hurt them this way.
Brian sighed and put the truck in gear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of a truck rumbling drew AJ’s attention. He’d decided to walk to cool off, and have his morning smoke at the same time. Two birds, one stone, as Howie always said. He was almost to the bottom of the driveway and ready to turn back around when he’d heard the truck. He stopped and sidestepped into the grass, ignoring the cold and wet that quickly soaked his feet.
A truck stopped by him and the passenger door was flung open. AJ saw Brian sitting there, shaking his head ruefully at him. “Put that thing out and get in here.” His lover demanded.
Grinning, AJ put his smoke out and put it back in his holder before hopping into the truck and shutting the door. He had to admit that, now that his temper had almost wore off, the heat blasting from the trucks heaters felt wonderful. When Brian fiddled with the dial and sent the heat out of both the vents by their hands and the ones by their feet, AJ almost moaned out loud. He pushed his cold feet under them and sighed while the truck started to move.
“You’re an idiot, you know.” Brian told him.
“You love me anyways.”
“True, but I’ve been told I’m an idiot before, so I guess we’re like a matched set.”
Laughter bubbled up in AJ. “Guess you’re stuck with me then.” He teased. For the first time he noticed the pair of socks and shoes between them on the seat. With another grin he took them and started to put them on.
“Don’t forget that makes you stuck with me too, A-Jay.” Brian deliberately put a thicker drawl on AJ’s name, making the both of them laugh.
Now that his feet were warm and he had shoes on again AJ felt more human. He looked around and noticed they were driving down a highway with almost no one else in sight. He also realized that he didn’t care where they were going. Smiling, he slid closer to Brian. In response his lover lifted an arm, wrapping it around AJ’s shoulders so that he could snuggle in close. “Stuck with you for the rest of my life?” AJ whispered. He nuzzled Brian’s chest. “I think I can handle that.”
Snow started to fall against the windshield. Slowly, lightly, but still there. AJ thought to himself that it looked beautiful. It had been so long since he’d really sat and watched the snow. It put him in the mood for roaring fires and cozy nights. Without realizing it he snuggled in closer, one arm pressed between him and Brian, the other hand going to rest on Brian’s thigh.
Brian dipped his head long enough to kiss the top of AJ’s head. “We’ve still got about forty minutes till we’re there, hon. Why don’t you nap?”
“Mm.” AJ mumbled to him. He moved his hand, taking the hem of Brian’s flannel between his fingers and rubbing at it. “Your parent’s house?”
The silence spoke louder than any words. Underneath him he could feel Brian’s muscles start to tense. Looking only to soothe, he kissed at Brian’s chest through his shirt. Right at that moment neither of them needed to speak. They rode in silence, drawing strength from one another for what was to come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It hurt more than Brian had thought it would to simply look at the house his parents lived inside of. He parked the truck in the driveway, but didn’t bother to move once he shut it off. Instead he simply stared. “This house has always been a shelter for me.” He said. “This is the first time I’ve looked at it, and not had that feeling that stepping through the door makes me safe.”
Brian looked down to where AJ was still snuggled against him. His lover looked up, and in those eyes Brian saw everything that was missing from this house. The feeling of safety, of home, was no longer attached to this house. It stared at him from AJ’s eyes, filling him with so much warmth and strength that he could do nothing more than smile over the joy of it.
An answering smile lit AJ’s face. He slid up Brian’s body to kiss him briefly, then press their foreheads together. In that familiar touch, breath to breath, eye to eye, Brian felt everything inside of him calm. He needed nothing more than to have this man in his life. Beyond that, it didn’t matter. “Let’s get this done with and go home.” AJ whispered. A part of Brian almost said that he didn’t need to, now. But he knew that it would give them both peace to have it out in the open.
Yet his heart was light when he climbed out of the truck. He joined hands with AJ as they walked up the familiar walkway. Before they could knock the door was opened and Jackie was there. “Oh, baby!” she cried tearfully, launching herself at him. Panic hit Brian. He wrapped his arms around his mother. “Mom, what’s wrong? Is everything ok?” He demanded.
Jackie pulled back, wiping at her eyes. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Everything’s fine.” She was quick to reassure. “I’ve just been reading everything lately and I was so worried for you. I’m so glad to see you ok.” Her gaze turned to AJ and she held a hand out to him, hugging him with one arm. “Both of you.”
“Is Dad home?”
The question threw Jackie for a minute. Her gaze was curious but she answered him with a steady voice. “He’s in his office. Brian, what’s going on? Not that I’m not happy to see you, but why’re you here?”
“I need to talk to Dad. Please, Mom.” He let go of her and took hold of AJ’s hand again. Though he’d originally wanted to at least speak privately with his father first, that idea was long gone. He would not speak to him without AJ there. They were a unit; where one was, the other went. Jackie didn’t stop them as they went into the house.
Brian took them straight to Harold’s office. A part of his mind was thinking that it was still snowing, and he didn’t want to end up stuck here. He didn’t hesitate to open the door and walk inside, AJ’s hand still clasped warmly in his.
“What-” Harold looked up at the sound of the intrusion. When his eyes found what had disturbed him, a number of emotions passed through them. Surprise, pain, disgust, and guilt being the most prominent. If Brian had carried any doubt in him, that would have abolished it. His father had done this to them. “Brian, what a surprise. What’re you doing here?”
“I had so much that I wanted to say to you.” Brian started. He looked down at his hand, joined ot his lovers, and drew more strength from him. “I was full of questions and was ready to demand answers. But now that I’m here, well, I just have one.”
“W-What’s that, son?” Harold’s stutter gave away his nerves. He folded his hands on top of his desk, not realizing the way he fiddled with his fingers.
Brian looked him square in the eye and wondered what had happened to the man he had known, loved, and respected. “Why?”
“I don’t know what you’re asking me. What?”
“Don’t play the fool, Dad. It doesn’t suit you. Why did you do it? I don’t see any gain in this for you. In fact, the only thing I see you getting out of this all is probably a sense of shame now that my secrets out there for the world to see.”
Again Harold fidgeted. His eyes wouldn’t quite meet theirs. “Are you talking about this stuff with the press? Horrible people, they are. I’m sorry to see you having to go through it.”
At his side Brian could hear AJ snort. He agreed. Knowing the truth, carrying it inside of him, gave Brian more courage. “Bullshit, Dad.”
“Brian! Do not swear in this house.”
But Brian was shaking his head. “We know the truth. We know who leaked the pictures. Who told the press where we lived.”
A gasp from behind them had Brian’s eyes closing. He wished that he’d thought to shut the door, and save his mother from this. Jackie stepped around them, moving slowly toward her husband. “Harold?” she asked hesitantly. “Is it true?”
Harold’s eyes went wide. “Jackie, I…”
In the silence of the room, AJ’s voice sounded deeper than normal. Brian could hear the emotion that was packed into it. “There were only four people staying at the house when those pictures were taken. I know that Howie wouldn’t do this. Neither would Nick, or you, Mrs. Littrell. That left us with only one person. One pictures obviously done on a cell phone, so for that to leak to the press, someone would have had to have access to the phone in question.”
“We know the truth, Dad.” Brian picked up quietly. “I believe I deserve enough respect to know why. Why would you deliberately hurt me this way?”
Anger finally took over all other emotion on Harold’s face. He was cornered and he knew it. “I didn’t do it to hurt you!” he hissed angrily. “That little fool next to you will never stick by your side. I tried to prove it to you, but he came back just to spite me! So I did this so that he’d finally leave. It’s what his kind does!”
“His kind?” Jackie echoed softly. Her face was full of grief. “God’s child?”
“He doesn’t care about him! Don’t any of you see that? It’s just the thrill of the game for him. Mark my words, you’ll see. The worse this gets, the quicker he’ll run. It’s who he is! He’s going to destroy our son, Jackie, and I’m the only one who can see it!” Harold argued vehemently. His hands were clenched into fists atop the desk. “He’s going to break Brian to pieces and none of you care!”
Hearing him talk about AJ that way had Brian firing up. But AJ put a hand on his arm, and when Brian looked at him, gave a slight shake of his head. “It doesn’t matter, Brian.” AJ said gently. When Brian started to protest, AJ moved a finger up to cover his lips. “You won’t be able to change his mind. You got your answer. Let’s go home.”
The way that AJ said home let Brian know that he didn’t mean back to Kevin’s house. He meant home. The thought sounded wonderful to Brian. He kissed AJ’s finger and nodded softly before turning back to his parents. Jackie read the look on his face and moved to embrace them both. “I’ll come see you soon.” She promised them. There were tears in her voice, and spilling from her eyes when she pulled back. “I am so sorry.”
Brian shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, Mom. I love you.” He said. Then he lifted his gaze to look at his father, and all he felt was pity. “You will always be my Dad.” Brian spoke gently yet firmly. “Nothing is ever going to change that. I hope one day you’ll come to realize that what you’re doing is wrong. I know who I am, and I know that, in the end, I will stand before my Father. I will be judged by Him. That’s the only judgment that matters.”
The worlds felt right to him. They lifted a heavy weight off of his shoulders. Without saying another thing, he turned and walked from the room with his love by his side. His heart felt lighter than it had in weeks.