Tripha’s words seemed to ring in his ears. AJ staggered slightly at the implications of what his friend said. To be able to see them one more time. To tell them goodbye. To tell them he was sorry for what had been done. Goddess of all, could it be possible?<?xml:namespace prefix = o />
‘Brian…’ AJ couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to the most stable force in his life. ‘I need you.’
There was barely a few seconds that passed before Brian was suddenly by AJ’s side, one hand resting on the small of his back, the other taking hold of his hand. ‘I’m here, song of my heart. What is this? What is going on?’
Briefly AJ ran through the last few moments, letting Brian see what Tripha had suggested. Surprise flowed inside Brian, followed by joy. ‘This is just what you need, Alex. It would be good for the both of us. To finally say good-bye and to let them go and help them move on, if they haven’t already. Why shouldn’t we try?’
‘I’ve just barely let myself start to heal from this. It sounds selfish, Brian, but I’m terrified of seeing them. I’m terrified of what it’ll do to me. What if it puts me back in the place I was before? I can’t afford to be a danger to us all.’
‘And what if not doing it makes you spend the rest of your days regretting it?’ Brian countered. He let go of AJ’s hand to stroke his cheek. “You have to try, song of my heart. If you don’t, you will always wonder and you will always carry this regret.”
This was one thing that AJ knew he couldn’t do on his own. He didn’t have so much pride that he couldn’t admit when he needed those he loved. Lifting his eyes, he looked around him, meeting the gazes of his family. “Will you all stay with me?” He asked them softly. “I…I don’t think I can do this alone.”
Flreu was the first to reach for him. He took hold of AJ’s free hand, cradling it between his. “There is no shame in needing the help of family, Grandson. There is wisdom in realizing that you cannot do everything alone. I will stand with you.”
“You know I’m always here for you, Alyck.” Smiling, Shay stepped up beside Flreu.
Tadhg and Leusha moved to stand with him, taking either side of Brian. “Nephew, we are ever with you. You have but to ask.” Tadhg said with a smile. Leusha nodded her agreement. “That is what family is for, is it not?” She added. Behind them all, Tripha gave a deep rumble, adding his agreement as well.
With all of them surrounding him, AJ swore he could feel their love against his skin and deep down inside of him. It gave him the strength to close his eyes and put himself into the realm of the spirits. There, he said no name, used no words, but sent a call out just the same, beckoning with his magic and his heart to those that mattered most to him. For a moment he waited, afraid they would answer, terrified they wouldn’t.
He felt them before he saw them. Felt that trilling of his internal senses that told him there was a spirit nearby. But more than that, he felt the brush of those souls as they came closer to him. He recognized the feel and knew who he would find before they even came into his vision.
But oh, when they were there, when he could see them before his internal eye, he realized that nothing could have prepared him for it. Nothing could have made him ready to see those that had been so close to his heart, as well as one close to him that he had never thought to see again. The shock of seeing her; the emotions that it brought to life in him were nothing that he had been prepared for.
Emotion slammed into AJ, staggering him so that he clutched at Brian and Flreu’s hands. “Howi.” He breathed out. “Isleen.” Though he knew the others couldn’t see them, he felt their support in response to his obvious emotion. Love from Brian flooded over the bond. No words were used; no words were important at the moment. Yet AJ uttered one more, a name he hadn’t thought of in countless years. “Zelda.”
Bringing himself under control, AJ embraced his magic enough to lend the spirits the strength to become visual and solid. He heard Brian’s soft, indrawn breath and knew that it had worked once again. Howi and Isleen stood before them, dressed in magicians’ robes, smiling as they held one another. They looked totally happy and at peace with themselves. The smile on Isleen’s face as she looked at AJ was bright. In Howi’s eyes there was pride and that brotherly love that had always been there. It was enough to have AJ’s heart clench.
Beside them stood a beautiful woman that AJ had known once upon a time, in a lifetime he had never forgotten. Zelda. Her blond hair was held back in a braid and her grey eyes were bright with love and laughter. He remembered them when they had been filled with fears and tears and finally, death. She was dressed in a simple dress, the same outfit she’d worn when he’d first met her.
“Zelda.” He breathed again
It was Flreu who spoke up next. “Introduce us to your friend here, Grandson.”
It took a few moments before AJ could bring himself to speak. “This is Zelda, a girl I knew once upon a time. She was close to me.” AJ explained to them, heartache strong in his voice. “I met her and her family as they were fleeing Germany during the start of the Holocaust. I…I helped them, smuggling them out of the country, the same as I’d done for tons of other families. Howi worked with me, helping me free the families that lived in fear…” His mind was transported back to a time, long before.
~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
*Late Spring, 1940, Northern Coast of Germany*
AJ held a finger to his lips, gesturing for silence. The ocean was in view just ahead of them, beckoning them with freedom, shining in the faint light from the moon. Reaching out, AJ took hold of Zelda’s arm, glancing up and down the beach before nodding to himself. He made a hand gesture to Howi, the two of them using a system they had devised of solely hand gestures to get through the dark nights where silence was of the utmost importance.
As a unit they moved; He and Zelda, Howi and the girl’s parents. This was the final, mad dash to freedom. They could all feel it in the air; that tension that sat when you could see your freedom right in front of you. AJ had warned them, they had to make it into the water. From there, he and Howi would protect them. But they had to make it there.
They were only steps onto the beach when the first sound reached AJ’s ears. He knew that sound. Even as he heard it, he was cursing and turning, pulling Zelda around to try and shelter her. Still he felt the impact as the bullet ripped open his arm, spinning him around in a circle and sending him to the ground.
“Go!” AJ screamed in Greek, looking to Howi as the Gestapo stormed the beach. “Go, now!”
His friend gave him a heart wrenching look before making the final dive into the ocean, his two charges screaming with him. AJ tried to propel Zelda after them but it was too late for that. It had always been too late. They’d been set up. This was a trap and a very effective one. Even as she made to climb to her feet, AJ saw that there was no hope for her escape.
They were surrounded by Gestapo soon enough. AJ gathered his magic to him, prepared to blast air over them and send them flying, when he felt the presence of another magician, just barely on the edge of his senses. The man was shielding himself, hiding his magic so that AJ hadn’t been able to feel it until it was too late.
The grin that spread over the magician’s mouth as he stepped forward was hard and twisted. He had AJ shielded just as AJ realized the danger. He was well and truly trapped, unable to do anything against the guns that were pointed at them from every single direction. He had failed.
His eyes traveled over, locking on to the woman beside him, so full of sorrow that he thought he might explode. “I am so sorry, Zelda.”
“Es ist geschafft.” She told him. It is done. Her hands were gentle on his arm, trying to stop the bleeding.
That was the last thing AJ knew before he felt something connect with the back of his head and darkness settled in.
~~~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~
AJ looked over to where Zelda stood and he felt his heart breaking. She smiled at him. With the soft, melodious voice he hadn’t heard in countless years, she picked up his story. “From there, we were taken to the concentration camps. Dachau first, where we lived for a few years. They didn’t care for our relationship to one another, so they let us be together. Then finally we were moved to Auschwitz.” Her voice was calm and easy, in direct contrast to the horror of the words she spoke. “There I lived and there I died. Alyck fought valiantly to free me, even after he had been tossed out for dead in the refuse piles where all were tossed that had been gassed and were set to be later burned.”
Her words brought a vibrating hush over the crowd. “You were gassed in a concentration camp?” Brian asked in horror.
The shrug AJ gave was slightly embarrassed. “It was a simple matter of my immortal body healing itself afterwards. Better that and to start again than to be stuck there for eternity and be unable to help. So I made a nuisance of myself, earned a few beatings and, finally, made them mad enough to hurry my visit to the gas chambers. From there, I was free to try and end the war.”
“And we did.” Howi chimed in. He smiled at them all. “It took us a while after you found me, but end the war we did. We finished off those foul camps and we freed the people we could free.”
“But I was too late for Zelda. She didn’t even have the strength to walk out of those doors.”
Reaching forward, Zelda brushed a hand over AJ’s cheek. “Yet how many times did you come and see me when you were free, Alyck? How often did you visit, to make sure that I was alive and well?”
“Not often enough. When I finally came, you were dying, Zelda. You died in my arms.”
“Where I wanted to be. You had come to mean a lot to me during those years we stayed at Dachau and Auschwitz. You were like a surrogate father to me. An older brother whom I loved dearly. When I passed, I felt your grief, I felt your love, and I felt your guilt. I have waited long to speak to you and to let you know my love for you. To let you know there was nothing that you could have done to change things.”
Tears built in AJ’s eyes. Suddenly the three spirits stepped toward him and he felt his family move away behind him so that he was standing on his own; Howi, Isleen and Zelda were with him now, the warmth of their souls, the love of their hearts, embracing him and wrapping around him.
“You have so much guilt, Alyck.” Howi told him softly. “Always the guilt. You take on more than your fair share of it. You are not solely responsible for what we do, kid.”
“I should have done something, though.” He whispered. “It just seems like the people who love me always end up either hurt or dead. I never wanted that to happen to all of you.”
Isleen leaned against his arm as she had done many times before. “But what happened to us was meant by the Goddess, Alyck. We all have a role to play in our lives. We are all a part of a grander plan. There is so much that you have in your future. So much of your destiny you have yet to fulfill. Us, we were stepping stones along that path for you, teaching you lessons in your life and helping you to move on to the next. What happened to us was fated, so that you might learn from it.”
“She’s right.” Zelda said. Her smile grew softer. “Do not let our lessons go unheeded. Do not diminish our sacrifice with your guilt, Alyck. As a small child, I had a dream. I knew what my fate was. I knew when and where I would die. I also knew the lesson it would teach to one who was important. When my family and I met you that night, the night of our escape, I knew then that you were the one. I knew I would never make freedom. But still I went with you. Why? Because there are things in life more important than one person.”
Howi leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Each of these moments with us has made you stronger, Alyck Tuian. You’ve changed so much from the battered boy I saved in a village. Look at you now! You’ve come so far. You’ve grown into one hell of a man. I’m proud of you.”
“As am I.” Zelda echoed.
“Sure and I’m proud as well.”
Reaching a hand back, Howi drew Brian forward, bringing him into their circle. “I’m proud of you as well, Littrell. You’ve come a hell of a long ways from the man I met years ago. You’ve grown into who you’re supposed to be.”
“Thank you.” Brian’s words were soft and yet strong. The night lights glinted off his eyes, making them shine like a splash of warm sunlight in the night. “I’m grateful for every moment that I had with you, Howie. You were the best kind of friend a person could ask for.”
Brian, AJ and Howi embraced. They clung tightly to one another for a moment, needing no words to express the emotions between them. When they finally drew apart, AJ gathered Isleen to him, whispering love in her ear and feeling her love back at him. Then he moved to Zelda, holding close the girl who had been like a child to him. He paid no attention to Isleen and Brian embracing. He just let the love he felt for Zelda fill him.
No more words were needed. AJ finally stepped back, looking at three souls that had all played important roles in his life. “You will be missed.” He told them softly. Their smiles were answer enough. AJ gathered magic to him, reciting yet again the prayer for passing their souls to the Goddess. He felt love fill him when the Goddess drew close, pulling the souls into her embrace, sheltering them in her arms and then drawing them away.
There was grief in AJ’s heart to see them gone, but it wasn’t the all-consuming kind. It did not try to take over, burning at him. It was just the muted grief and love for those that one had loved and lost but had accepted that they’d moved on.
Lifting his face to the night sky, AJ felt rainclouds gather above him, felt as they released the first few droplets of rain. The weather was reacting to his emotions, but it wasn’t pain that he was feeling. It was a kind of cleansing.
He felt Brian’s hand slide into his and he couldn’t help but smile. The rain continued to fall on them as the two stood together, staring up at the sky. Things were going to be ok. They had no idea what the next day might bring them, but they would face it together and they would be ok.