Everything in AJ seemed to go blank for that single moment. It was one thing to know that you were going to fight a war, to save worlds from evil. It was another thing entirely to have a powerful Seer tell you that if you fail, everyone and everything is doomed. He found he could only sit there and stare.<?xml:namespace prefix = o />
“Me?” He finally managed to squeak out. “Why me? Why the hell does it have to be me?”
“You’re the only one who can fight back the evil, Alyck Tuian.” Shay said. His voice was full of compassion. “This is your destiny.”
The magnitude of it all was immense. “But the armies…”
There was pity in Shay’s white eyes. “We fight with you, for our freedom, but the final battle is not ours. Our job, our duty, is to engage the troops that this evil has employed. We will keep them busy and pray we defeat them. But, no matter what we do, no matter how many battles we win or lose against them, if you lose against Llwy and the evil that he has brought to bear in his soul, then all is lost.”
It was too much. This was entirely too much. How could they ask this of him? Him! One single person. “But I’m just one person! Just a man!” He exclaimed. Fear and anger brought him to his feet. “I’m just one elf.”
Shay rose to his feet as well. “You’re a powerful elf. The trulion. You have powers beyond anything these two worlds have seen. You are the trulion, a powerful mage, the a’anish of the dragons. You are our hero.”
“And what if I don’t want to be a hero?” AJ shouted. The very foundation of the castle seemed to shake around them for a moment. Control was like a thin thread, slippery in his fingers. He fought to hold on to it. He knew that if he let it go right then, there was no telling the damage his magic would loose on the world around him. Terror battled inside him with anger. “It’s too much to ask of one person! To put the fate of everything, of everyone, of two fucking worlds, all on my shoulders!”
Brian rose slowly to his side. “Alex…” He tried, one hand reaching out.
Anger had AJ doing something he never would have thought of doing before. He stepped away from Brian’s hand, away from the comfort he offered. The anger and fear were so great they even choked off his mind so that he couldn’t hear the words Brian spoke into his mind. All he could feel were his own emotions, swirling around inside of him. “No!” He shouted. The castle trembled again. “It’s not fair! How dare you tell me this?”
“You already knew your destiny, Alyck. All I did was lay it bluntly before you.”
“Fuck destiny!” AJ shouted at him. “Fuck it, and fuck you too.” He backed away from them both, his thoughts jumbling around, bouncing inside of his head. Each one hurt. This was too much! He barely gave a moment to be thankful that he’d taken his swords off when they’d settled down to listen to Shay’s story, to be thankful that all he had on was a pair of breeches. With one furious move, he climbed onto the tower wall and dove into open air, calling on the magic inside himself. Not even a quarter of the way down his body made the shift from man to eagle.
But even that didn’t stay for long. He soared, not even feeling the joy of truly flying, only long enough to put himself down onto the ground. When he got close to the earth he twisted that magic again so that he shifted from eagle to wolf, landing easily on all fours.
It seemed the perfect solution right then. He didn’t want to be a man or an elf. Didn’t want to be himself. He wanted the silence and solitude of being a simple animal. Once he hit the ground in wolf form, he was off and running. All he wanted was to put as much distance between him and the others as possible. To run somewhere that no one knew him. Where no one would ask anything of him. Where there was no responsibility, no destiny, nothing waiting for him but the fresh air and the moonlight.
Let the others deal with everything. Let them be the ones in charge for a while and see how they liked it. For now, all he wanted was freedom.
No thoughts interrupted him as he ran. Not his own, and not anyone else’s. Not even Brian’s. For a long time AJ just ran, his body moving constantly, his instincts in total control. But slowly, thought returned to him. He found himself circling back, toward home, without even realizing it. When he did, he forced his body to stop.
How long had he been running? His tail drooped and his head hung low as air gasped in and out of his lungs. He could feel his chest heaving with each pant. Ahead of him was the forest, the separation from this part of the island to the other. Through there, he would be back in his world. Back to being Alyck, trulion.
He wasn’t ready for this. They were asking too much from him, couldn’t they see that? He was one person, one man. It wasn’t right that they do this. To tell him that this was his destiny; that it had been ordained long before he was even born.
Anger and pain were like a poison inside of him. He couldn’t keep it all inside. Throwing his head back, he howled, long and loud, crying out his pain to the moon.
As his head came back down, his body shimmered, shifting from wolf to man. He knelt there in the grass, hands gripping down into the dirt. “Why?” He spoke out loud, though there was no one to here. “Why me?”
Eyes lifted to the sky, AJ let everything he was feeling rage inside of him. He couldn’t keep it under control anymore. Couldn’t lock it up in his heart. Everything he felt broke free like a tidal wave. Though he didn’t realize it, tears ran in rivers down his cheeks.
“Why?” He demanded again, screaming it out this time, shouting at whatever being ruled either world. Shouting because if he didn’t he was going to explode from holding it inside. “You’re so all seeing, so fucking wise. So tell me why! Why me?” The tears came hotter and faster. Trembles ran down his body. “Why does it have to be me? And how the hell can you expect me to do this? I’m just one person! But you want me to save us all. You’ve been preparing me for this my entire life! Has anything been my choice? Has anything in my life been mine? Or is it all part of some master plan you have for me?”
He felt his magic tingling just underneath his skin, aching to be set free. But his emotions were too strong.
“Is this whole battle the reason I was born?” He shouted. “Has everything in my life been for this? Some destiny you decide I have? One that I don’t want just racing to me? I don’t want this! Why did you have to choose me? Is this the whole damn reason I was born? You took Shay away from me for this battle. You took Howi and Isleen. Everything that’s become important to me, you took from me! What else have you taken? What more do you want? If I go here, if we win, there’s still a chance I’ll be stuck there. That I’ll never be able to come back. I have those I love here, too. I’ll lose even more.
“You take and you take and you take, but you give nothing in return! You ask so much of me. I can’t do this.” AJ dropped his head back down, grief weighing on him. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. “I can’t. I’m not strong enough. You picked the wrong person to be your hero. I’m not strong enough for this.”
“You are stronger than you realize, my child.”
Warm hands cupped AJ’s face, tipping his head up. AJ opened his eyes and found himself staring at the Goddess. Dimly, in the back of his mind, a part of him remembered all he had ever heard Flreu say about the Goddess and all her aspects. She was one Goddess, but she was made up of different ‘aspects’ as they said. One for each element.
The Spirit Goddess, Death, who deals with matters of the soul and takes the spirits when they pass over. Earth, the Mother Goddess. Fire, the Warrior Goddess. Air, the Wise Goddess. Water, the Lover Goddess.
The Goddess that stood before him was the Goddess aspect of Fire. The Warrior Goddess. The hands on his cheeks were gentle and kind. Though he was almost blinded by her light, AJ saw the gauntlets she wore, true to her title. His gaze lifted from her booted feet, up over the dress she wore covered with chainmail, the armor over her chest, to the beautiful face, her hair covered by a metal helm. The hilt of a sword stuck up over one shoulder. At her waist he saw a dagger.
The look she wore was so kind it smote straight to AJ’s heart. Under her gaze he felt his strength crumbling. “I’m not.” He whispered to her. “I can’t do this. You picked the wrong person for the job.”
If anything, her smile grew warmer, kinder. “You are the perfect man for the job, Alyck o Tuian.” Her voice rang in his ears, music sweeter than any he’d ever heard. “You have a warrior’s strength inside of you. Why do you think it was I that came to you here? You have the heart and soul of a warrior.”
“My heart and soul are tired.” It felt shameful to speak so to her, but he felt his fear pouring from him. “I didn’t ask for this destiny. I didn’t ask to have the fate of so many on my shoulders. How can I hold that all? To know that, if I lose, I destroy everything. It’s too much to put on just a single man.”
The Warrior Goddess drew him to his feet. Once he was standing, she released his face. “You are not ‘just a man’, my child. You are so much more. Can you not see this? Can you not see who you’ve become? The strength and power and life that burns brightly inside of you? You shine to me like a beacon. Your spirit is bright and pure. Strong. This destiny would not have been laid upon you if you could not handle it.”
“But how am I supposed to do this?” He exploded suddenly. “How am I supposed to face down evil, alone, and walk away the victor? He’s had time to build his kingdom and to prepare for my coming. Prophecy has heralded my arrival even before my birth. He has had time beyond my years to prepare for me, while I have only known for this short time. What hope do I have of facing him down and winning? It’s not right to send me in there! It’s suicide!”
“Think you that we send you alone, child?” The Warrior raised her hand, the air rippling in its path until a mirror formed. In it, AJ saw the face of his Grandfather. “Even now, Flreu of the elves gathers those to him that he hopes will help.” The image shifted, moving to Tadhg. “Your Uncle searches ancient text for magic he may be able to pass on to you so that your chance of survival will be stronger.”
The mirror changed again, rippling until it showed Richard and Geoff, sitting with Donnelly, Ubayy, Nura, Bayani, Crisanto, and Tao. The eight of them were in a circle, drinking from cups and laughing with one another. “These eight, they have gathered together for different reasons, yet they all stand behind you. Two of them would easily lay their lives down for yours if it was necessary.”
Another shift, another ripple. Shay now, leaning against the tower wall, staring off into the distant. “This one walked away from you on my orders, the orders of my sister Spirit, even though it broke his heart to do so. He has lived in strife and chaos for thousands of years, deprived of all he knew and loved. It was not just for Nellador. It was not even just on the orders of me. When he was told that what he would do would give you the chance to survive what he Saw, he never looked back. He gave this all up, for you. He has done everything he can to aid you in this.”
Last but not least the image shifted to Brian. Sweet, wonderful, beautiful Brian. He was sitting in the moss of their tower top, legs crossed, head bowed. Worry was in every inch of his posture. It was evident in the way his fingers fiddled with the moss at his feet.
The Warrior looked over at AJ. “How can you ever say you do anything alone? You are never alone. Look at him now, waiting for you to return, worrying for your pain. Aching for you. You two are so intertwined; your souls are almost as one. They are bound together in ways that even I do not understand. They are separate, and yet, you cannot tell where one ends and the other begins. You speak of what has been taken from you, yet can you not see what you have been given? Would you change anything in your life if it meant losing him?”
Love welled up in AJ’s heart. “No.”
“Everything you have done, every step you have taken, has brought you to this point. To him. To the reunion with old friends. You have lost some along the way, I know this. But you have gained much as well.”
Her sharp eyes sliced over to his face. With another wave, the image changed, morphing into something that had AJ wanting to recoil in horror. A village, it looked like. Simple stone houses lined the streets; what looked to have been businesses at one time or another. Doors were broken off, shutters tore away. Some roofs had holes in them.
People cowered in the streets. Some were diving inside, through windows and open doorways. Others were dropping down to their knees, hands covering their heads. Each of them was filthy, their clothes ragged. Terror gripped some; defeat, others. Without even asking, AJ knew where this was. His heart cried out at the sight of it.
“Yes.” The Warrior spoke to him. Her voice carried sadness, yet it also carried steel. “This is Nellador, in the streets of the small village of Etuur. They were a small human town that traded with the dwarves in the mountains of Sha nearby.”
The sounds of hoof beats echoed suddenly. AJ found he couldn’t look away. He knew he was about to see what had sent these people cowering and running. Another moment and ten horses burst into the city square, the center of all the businesses. Men in armor sat atop them, looking just as dirty as the people on the streets. Yet their faces held meanness, an enjoyment of what they saw. The man at the center of them pulled his sword, holding it aloft in the air.
“Look what we have here, boys?” The leader shouted. Laughter tinted the edge of his voice. “Lookee what I found! A bunch of cowering, pitiful, traitorous peasants.”
The other men on the horses let out loud, menacing laughs. That seemed to puff the leader up even more. He looked around at all the cowering forms. “Traitors, the entire lot of you! Where is the King’s gold, I ask of you? Let the thief who stole it bring it forth now and we might spare your pitiful little village. If not, well, you don’t want that to happen.”
No one moved. Not a soul spoke. It seemed as if the entire village held its breath.
The leader pointed his sword forward, barking out a single word in the ancient language. Go. From behind him a ni’shia emerged, moving with that lethality they were known for. AJ felt his stomach clench. He could only watch in horror as the ni’shia darted forward and grabbed an elderly woman from the ground, yanking her back to the square. Though a few cried out, no one moved to help her.
“You, woman.” The leader barked at her. He lowered his sword, holding the point between her breasts. “Where is the King’s tax?”
Air shuddered in and out of the woman. Her weathered face was set in a mask of terror. “Please!” She begged him. “We don’t have it. Please! The crops, they’re gone. There’s no one to trade with. We gave you everything we have. Everything! There’s nothing else!”
“Liar!”
The sword whipped up in the air, swinging back down in an arc. Blood flew as the woman fell, her head dropping beside her.
“Torch the place!”
The five on their horses and the ni’shia flowed forward, villagers screaming and running in terror.
With a wave of her hand, the Warrior took the image away. Her firm gaze turned to AJ. “All over Nellador, atrocity like this is happening. This is not the first, nor will it be the last. You have been set on this path, Alyck o Tuian, to save this world. It has been foretold that you are our only hope. You say you are not strong enough. That you cannot do this.” She drew herself up until, strong and proud. “You think we have forced you to this route. That we’ve made you fight this fight. But tell me, what did you see just now? What did you feel?”
What did he feel? “Fury.” What else could he feel, seeing the horror of that image? “I feel fury, more than I’ve ever felt before.”
“If you were there, right now, what would you do?”
“I would destroy them.” He answered without hesitation. There was no doubt in his mind what he would have done if he was there. “I would take them down, each and every one of them, and I would have saved that woman. She was murdered, her whole village is going to be murdered, because this bastard wants his ‘tax’ from them, knowing full well they can’t afford to pay it. He’s destroying them all. Their village was obviously in ruins. Their spirits were broken. Those people, they couldn’t fight for themselves. They don’t see any reason to fight anymore. But I would have fought for them.”
She smiled at him, fierce and proud. “Whether you are put there because of destiny or not, Alyck, your response is the. Even if it was not foretold that you would fight to save all, even if you were not the trulion, even if he did not have your two friends, what would you do if you could get to Nellador?”
“I would fight.” That realization hit him right in the face. It was like a light in the darkness for him. He stared, unseeing, where the image had been only moments before. “I would fight if I were there, destiny or no. Title doesn’t matter. Fate either. None of it does. Even if Kevin and Nick were safely at home, I couldn’t sit by idly and know that these people were living this way and not help them.”
“We are not shaped and formed by the destiny that awaits us. Our destiny is shaped and formed by who we are.”
Those words had a profound impact on AJ. It was like the chains of his fears that had been dragging him down were suddenly set free. His body straightened, his spine stiffening. He lifted eyes that glowed with power to look on the face of the Goddess. She was right. Whether this was his destiny or not, it didn’t change anything. No prophecy, no vision, none of it was important. His heart was what led him. He would go to save his friends, his family, but he also went to save the people of Nellador. Not because he had to, not because something or someone was forcing him to, but because it was right. Maybe to others the difference might be nothing, but to AJ it was everything.
“Thank you.” He told her.
She smiled at him, the light around her pulsing. Silent, she raised a hand to him in salute. AJ solemnly returned it. He held that salute as she faded, the light drawing inward, until there was nothing left to show she had been there.
On the horizon the sun was starting to rise. AJ looked at it and found himself smiling. A new day was starting.