The sun shone bright in the sky above them. AJ couldn’t help but let his head tip back to enjoy the warmth of it. He closed his eyes and opened his center, letting the world around him fill him deep inside at that core of energy. This was heaven. This was peace. Though the hard knot of grief still sat inside of him, it loosened little by little each day. He would never forgot those who he had lost, most especially those dearest to him, but nor would he mourn overly long for them. It wouldn’t have been what they would want and it wasn’t his way. Instead, he would honor their memory by living.
A voice slid into his mind like a warm summer breeze. ‘Your mind is deep and still like the ocean, song of my heart.’ There was a deep love in those words that never failed to stir AJ’s heart. He didn’t open his eyes, but simply sent his thoughts back along the bond. ‘I feel at peace for the moment. With the earth beneath my feet and the sun on my face. With the wind blowing in my hair and the sound of the waves, I am at peace.’
‘I hate to break this peace, song of my heart, but we must be getting them home.’ Brian’s voice pulled AJ back to himself. His love was right. They needed to be on their way. Opening his eyes, AJ smiled at his friends and his partner. They would make the first half of the trip by boat; a simple little pleasure sloop. Not large, but enough to hold them with a little room to spare.
Flreu came walking toward them, Tripha by his side. The strength and majesty of the two was something to behold. AJ smiled at them and held his arms wide, mirroring his grandfather’s pose as they reached one another and joined in a tight hug. “Ah, honored grandson, how I will miss you while you are gone.” Flreu said in a thick voice.
“We will be gone but a short time, honored grandfather. There are just a few mortal affairs that require our attention before we leave behind that life for the one our hearts want.” Pulling back, AJ smiled at him. Then he stepped back to allow Brian to come forward. It warmed his heart to watch his heart song and his grandfather hug, the love between them obvious. Whatever words they shared were whispered, but they had Brian smiling and the bond flowing with love and warmth.
AJ found his thoughts drifting toward what they had to take care of. Not just their own affairs, but Howi’s. There would have to be some explanation for what happened to him. Once upon a time they’d discussed what they might do if the other was gone. AJ knew Howi’s wishes on some things. What he wanted done with his money, his home and cars. AJ thought he might be able to play that; to do what Howi wanted and at the same time make it look as if he had decided to move, but no one would need to know where he went.
Even deep in thought AJ felt his lover’s presence when he moved back beside him. A sad smile was on Flreu’s face as he looked at the two of them. There was something in his eyes that tugged at AJ’s heart. “Grandfather, is everything ok?” AJ couldn’t resist asking.
For a moment Flreu seemed to debate his words. He wouldn’t lie, AJ knew. No elf ever would. But that didn’t mean that he would answer the question outright. Finally Flreu sighed and gave them a smile. “I’m feeling old today, grandson, and nostalgic. Worries prey on this heart of mine, but they are not for this day. Your return will be time enough. Then, the three of us will talk.” He joined hands with them and this time his smile was brighter and full of love. “May the winds favor your return, honored grandsons, trulion, baka.”
“May they favor our return that we might soon be home again.” The two men said together. But they shared a wordless sensation of worry between them. Something was going on here. ‘We’ll have to wait to find out.’ Brian said softly to him while they hugged Flreu one last time and moved to join their friends.
‘I know. I’m going to worry a little now. But if it was serious, he would have told us now. That I do know.’
‘Well, my darling Alex, are we ready to leave then?’
AJ let his smile spread. “Ready as we’ll ever be, I guess.” He grinned as he said it. Goodbyes had already been shared between them and their other immortal friends. All they had to do now was head home with Kevin and Nick and take care of business. Amidst cheers and screams, AJ and Brian gathered up their two friends and set off toward the water. As they walked away they could hear the voices behind them being raised in song, a song of love and farewell that AJ recognized. It brought joy to his heart to hear it.
By the time they reached the boat everything was quiet enough, though not silent, for them to be able to speak and hear one another. Nick let his shoulder bump Brian’s, sneaking a glance around him at AJ. “You sure J can sail this? I mean, I don’t want to end up crashed out on the ocean somewhere.”
“Crashed?” AJ asked in surprised. “Why, Carter, I’m hurt! You really think I’d crash us all?”
The teasing look that Nick gave him had them all laughing as they climbed aboard. Brian took Kevin and Nick below deck to settle in while AJ prepped the ship to sail. Kevin cast a glance above him where they could hear AJ moving around. “Doesn’t he need a hand up there? There are a lot of things to get started on your own.”
“He’ll be fine, Kev.” Brian reassured him with a smile. “You forget sometimes that magic can do little things as well as the big things. What he doesn’t have hands for, he’ll use weaves of air. We’ll be underway shortly I imagine.”
“How long you think it’ll take to get home?”
Taking a seat in one of the bolted down chairs, Brian thought for a minute. Then he turned his thoughts inward. ‘Song of my heart, when do you estimate our arrival?’
‘Oh, we’ll probably hit land tonight. So, by morning we should be at Kevin’s house I’d guess. This time tomorrow at the latest.’
‘Need some help with the air currents?’ Brian’s offer was met with a mental snort that had him grinning. Still smiling, he brought his attention back to his two friends. “He says we’ll probably be at your house by this time tomorrow.” He offered.
For a second they looked at him in surprise. First, because they tended to forget that he and AJ could speak mind to mind. Second, for the time frame. “That quickly?” Nick asked in amazement as he and Kevin took the other open seats. It was plain to see by the expression on his face that he was shocked by the timeline but that he wouldn’t put anything past them. The idea amused Brian to no end. “He’ll use air to fill the sails and water to help us get the right current. We’ll practically fly.”
As if to put action to his words they felt the boat suddenly start to move. Brian let his eyes slide closed and extended his senses, feeing the air and water around them. Yes, AJ had them moving pretty quickly. Though Brian didn’t know distance and travel by boat quite like AJ did, he trusted AJ estimations.
“What are you guys going to do when we get back home?” Kevin broke the silence, asking the question that Brian was sure was on both Kevin and Nick’s mind. “I mean, will we see you guys again?”
“We’re not vanishing on you guys, Kev.” Brian tried to reassure him. Honestly, he didn’t know how to answer the question. “I can’t say really when you’ll see us again, though. We’ll have to be careful. I mean, if we visited all the time then people would be bound to notice how we never age.”
“So we’ll never get to see you?” This time it was Nick who spoke and his voice sounded soft and sad.
Acting on instinct, Brian reached over and took one of Nick’s and one of Kevin’s hands. “We’ll figure out something, guys. Maybe we’ll fly you guys out to Ireland and pick you up from there. There’s ways we can make this work. You’re family, you’ll always be welcome at the castle.”
His friends smiled at him. “Is that where you’ll be staying, then?” Kevin asked.
“I’m not sure. I don’t really know what Alex and I will do. I imagine that we’ll travel. We’ll need to so we can visit the other races, make sure the peace is being kept.” He didn’t mention this niggling feeling in the back of his mind that there was something else in the horizon for them. It was a sensation that he knew AJ shared. They’d discussed it, late at night. But they weren’t quite sure if it was just after battle jitters. If they might still be running off of the nerves that had built up from this huge war.
“I still can’t believe I met so many different beings!” Nick looked like a little boy as his face lit up. He had been a huge hit among everyone, but the elves most especially had loved him for his natural joy in life and his unrelenting energy. He’d spent most of his time with the elven children and they’d been sad to see him go.
Smiling, Brian sat back as Nick and Kevin started to talk back and forth about all the things they’d enjoyed. Much of the horror of things still seemed to be not quite real to them. They’d been hidden away for some of the hardest parts, sheltered for quite a bit of the terror. What they had seen was enough for their minds to handle. Looking at them, Brian realized that, in the way of all mortals, they would soon shove the horrors back and remember only the good times. That eased the ache in his heart a little. He hadn’t wanted this to leave a scar on them.
‘I feel the length of your thoughts all the way up here atop the mainmast, heart song. Come, share these thoughts with me that I might dispel this cloud from over your head.’
Brian felt his features soften, his smile changing to one of love. Quickly he gave AJ a mental rundown of what they’d been discussing down here and the path it had taken his thoughts down. When he was done, AJ stayed a quiet presence in the back of his mind for a little while. Then the knot that was him seemed to pulse with love. ‘You need to get out of the cabin and up on deck so you can feel the sun. It’ll perk you up. Come, my little sun worshiper.’
Amused, Brian felt his spirits already starting to rise. Enough so that he teased AJ a little. ‘I’ll perk up by watching you up there half-dressed and you know it, you shameless hussy.’ A thought occurred to him and he furrowed his eyebrows down. ‘Plus, last I felt, the clouds were out.’
‘Were they? Hm. Might be that’s changed in the last, oh, fifteen seconds.’
A chuckle slid past Brian’s lips, catching the attention of Kevin and Nick. At their odd looks he waved his hand a little and said “Sorry, sorry. AJ’s being a nerd.”
That explanation only made them chuckle at him. “That still takes some getting used to.” Nick said with a shake of his head. But he had a slightly interested look on his face. “How does it work?”
It was a good question. Brian took a moment to try to think on how to answer it just right. “It’s like I have this special part in the back of my mind, this little knot of something. In that knot I can feel AJ. Whether he’s happy, or sad, or angry. The stronger it is the easier I feel it. It’s more than just sharing our thoughts; it’s sharing our emotions too. When he’s hurt, I feel the pain of it and vice versa. I can feel how tired he gets at times and can give him energy if he needs it.”
Kevin toyed with Nick’s fingers on the tabletop as they talked, a gesture that was absentminded and that made Brian smile. “Do you like, send your thoughts over to him? Or is he just there, all the time, in your mind?” He asked.
Again, a good question. Amused by the tone to Kevin’s voice, Brian couldn’t help but smile. It grew even more when AJ’s voice filled his mind. ‘I am the all-seeing, all-knowing Alyck Tuian! I am always here, and I see everything…’ The thought trailed off underneath AJ’s mental giggles. This, of course, had Brian giggling. He never could resist it when AJ was in this kind of mood. “Oh man.” Brian chortled, shaking his head. “Ok, how to put this. Well let’s see, right now I can sense him in my mind, but I’m not hearing every thought as it runs through his mind because I’m choosing not to. I’m pushing it back. If I let myself drift onto that bond, that connection, I can hear what he’s thinking and, through that, I can tell what’s going on around him.”
“Really?” Kevin said in surprise. “You mean you can see what he sees or hear what he hears?”
“Almost. It’s more like, I see the image of it in his mind. His view on it. When someone talks to you, your brain automatically starts to process what they’re saying, which runs the words through your mind. Like right now, he’s being nosey and he’s essentially listening in. He answered your question before, about being there all the time.” Brian couldn’t resist another laugh. “He said he’s the all-seeing, all-knowing Alyck Tuian. That he’s always here and he sees everything. Which is why I laughed at him.”
That seemed to rock them back on their heels for a minute. Nick regained his composure first. “So if you don’t want him to know what you’re thinking, can you block him out? I’d think it’d be a little invasive to have someone able to pick my thoughts out of my head whenever they want to.”
That remark honestly surprised Brian. He’d never really stopped to think of it like that. Invasive? It never felt that way to him.
‘That’s because we’re not average people, song of my heart. We’re elvish, for one, which makes us more open with emotions and less ashamed of things we feel. For two, we’ve become closer than a mortal couple would be. Closer than any couple of any race, to be truthful. There aren’t any barriers between us. We’re more like one person in two bodies than two separate people anymore.’ AJ told him.
Huh. It made sense, put like that. Brian looked back at Nick and Kevin and realized that he’d drifted into his mind for a moment, thinking about what AJ had said. “Sorry guys.” He apologized sheepishly. “I got a little mind lost. I was a little confused by your question at first cause I’ve never really stopped and thought of it as invasive. It just seems normal.”
“Really?” They asked at the same time.
“Well, yeah. AJ says it’s partly us being elvish, since the elves are more open about emotions and such like that. We’re not ashamed of what we feel in any way. But add on to it that he and I have become really close through all this bullshit. We’ve connected in a deep way. Like AJ says, we’re more like one person in two bodies than two separate people.” Seeing their amazed looks, Brian just shrugged. “But that’s off the question. If we want we can shut the other out. We’ve done it before. Just, put a block on it, kind of. No thoughts out or in, but it doesn’t stop us from feeling the others feelings.”
“Wow.” Nick breathed out. “That’s crazy.”
“No crazier than anything else you’ve seen.” Brian teased him.
Right then the hatch to the deck flew open and a voice called down “All hands on deck! The captain is bored with only half a conversation!”
The three men, laughing as they went, headed up to the deck. They found AJ sitting at the bow of the boat, leaning against the railing. He had a smile on his face and a look of contentment in his eyes. For a moment Brian just stood there and stared at him. It seemed like every day they had together, Brian fell more and more in love with his partner. Moments like this made Brian understand all the more why the elves called their partners ‘song of my heart’, for every time he saw AJ it felt as if his heart literally started to sing.
“Come join me!” AJ called cheerfully. “Least you guys could do is entertain a fellow while he’s working.”
“Working?” Nick teased. He moved forward first, folding himself to the ground near AJ, totally at ease on a ship. Nick had always been their ‘water baby’ as they jokingly called him. “You’re sitting on your ass, Mclean.”
Brian and Kevin chuckled as they joined their respective partners. Kevin simply sat beside Nick, taking hold of his hand. But Brian lay out on the deck and put his head in AJ’s lap, letting the sun beat down on his skin. He had to resist the urge to strip off a few layers so that the sun would be touching him directly. For Kevin and Nick’s sake, he kept his clothes on.
That thought distracted Brian while the others chatted above his head. A year ago he would have died of embarrassment at the thought of lying naked on a boat with three other people there, even if one was his lover. Now he was lamenting the fact that he couldn’t. So many things had happened and so many things had changed.
Brian knew, in his heart, that even if it was offered, he would never be able to pick his old life up again. Too much had happened to him. Too many things had changed. Not just physically, though he looked so different from the person he had used to be. But inside he had changed too. He had grown in so many ways and in other ways he had so much more room to grow. Living through what they had, seeing and experiencing all of it, had changed him down to his core.
A simple life was not for him. It wasn’t only because of what he had seen and done, but what he had become. Not just learning his ancestry and making the transformation to immortal and then to full elf, either. Becoming baka, accepting that inside of himself, had awakened something in him that he hadn’t known was there. It wasn’t something that he could just shut off. It was a part of him now. It wasn’t just a title anymore. It was him.
‘You make me so proud, song of my heart. Every day I see you grow. I am honored to have you by my side as a friend, a baka, and as my heart song.’
Those words were infused with such a strong sense of love that Brian felt tears burn the backs of his eyes. Instead of responding with words, he turned his head so that his face was against AJ’s hip. Ever so gently he kissed him through the fabric before letting himself rest there. In that moment, the day seemed perfect.