Walking along, Brian watched AJ discreetly from the corner of his eye. They had left Sofia and Marzio’s house hours ago to set out for home, Richard, Geoff and Donnelly in tow. Touching ground not far from home, AJ had set them walking through the forest to reach the castle.
Ever since that fight, AJ had seemed quiet, the knot of sensations that was him in Brian’s mind felt of determination. All of this was getting to him, Brian could feel that. He wished that there was something he could do for his partner. But, if he was honest, it was getting to him too.
They had just finished one big war and here they were, embarking off onto an even bigger one. Hell, they’d barely had any time to catch their breath! Not only that, but the grief in their hearts was so big, so overwhelming, and there was no time to indulge it. So they were both forced to push it down and to focus on everything else even as their hearts cried out to take time and grieve.
Losing his parents had been a hard blow for Brian. Inside he was still reeling from it. Grief was like a chasm inside of him, dark and deep. It ached to be set free. That moment on the cliff with AJ had helped. With that small display of temper and the lovemaking afterward, Brian had vented some of his emotions. But there was still so much there that needed to come free. Yet there was no time for it.
This was one lesson that Brian had learned about being baka, same as AJ had with being trulion. You were allowed to hurt; to grieve and ache as well as celebrate and excite over things. But your needs had to come second to the greater welfare of their people.
For that’s what all these races were; their people. From the smallest fairy to the largest dragon, all of them were their people. It was the job of the trulion and baka to watch over these races and care for them, protecting them and helping them. But that meant that you couldn’t let your emotions get in the way. It didn’t stop them from having their emotions, though. They just had to find a different way to deal with everything. A private time to do it.
Your subjects, for lack of a better word, expected you to have emotions but they also expected to see strength in their leaders. If their leader faltered underneath things then they would falter. Even if they didn’t admit it, anyone who looks to a leader draws strength from their leader’s strength. If you’re led into war by a person who is strong and sure, you feel more secure in the possibility of victory. If your leader appears weak and upset then you lose confidence in them and in yourself.
When they had left here last, it had been with the timeline of a month until the next full moon. Surprising as it was, they’d only been gone a few days. There were still weeks left, though those weeks went faster inside the shelter of the castle.
Brian fully intended to take some time while they were there to sneak away with AJ. Their tower top was the perfect place to go. More than one, Brian had heard the other elves refer to that as ‘their’ tower top. It was a small little piece of the castle that the other recognized as belonging to Brian and AJ.
That was exactly what they needed right then. The both of them. Brian needed time with his partner to let this grief out. AJ needed the same thing. Brian snuck another glance over at AJ’s face. Yes. His lover definitely needed it. There were lines around AJ’s eyes that spoke of stress to anyone who knew how to look. A certain tightness to his mouth and in his body. So much for such a small set of shoulders to have to carry.
AJ must have felt him looking, or felt his concern, because he looked over and offered Brian a smile. They shared no words or thoughts, but the look they exchanged spoke volumes. Without saying anything, AJ reached over and took Brian’s hand in his. Their tattoos pressed against one another, sensation flaring through them, and it was more than enough for now. Things didn’t seem so daunting anymore.
It amazed Brian that he felt so comfortable, so right here. Almost as if his whole life had been leading him to this. To AJ, to his heritage, to this life. Here he fit in like he had fit in nowhere else.
Brian felt it when they passed through the barrier to the castle. He also felt AJ’s magic settle on their friends, something that included them in AJ’s magic for just a moment. Confusion marred Brian’s face for a second before realization settled in. That was right. Guests usually had to announce themselves at the entrance of the castle. AJ must have put a weave on them that allowed them to bypass that, then removed it.
Inside that barrier now, Brian felt the presence of the other elves. Plenty were rushing forward to meet them.
AJ stopped suddenly, spinning to look at Donnelly. “I don’t have time to explain this and I’m a fool for not explaining it before now, but you are about to meet the King of the Elves and there are certain ways you need to behave. Later I’ll instruct you on protocol but for now, please, just emulate Richard and Geoff. Bow the way they do, when they do, speak with the manners they do. Remember, how you act reflects on me and this is my Grandfather. I don’t need you shaming me before him.”
That was all the time they had before Flreu himself burst through the trees, Tadhg right behind him. With the usual joy of elves the two men ran forward to embrace their family. Brian found himself wrapped tightly in Tadhg’s arms, held against a shoulder that he had come to know would always be there for him. In that embrace, Brian suddenly felt all of his grief well up inside of him.
“Oh, nephew. Child.” Tadhg whispered in his ear. Tears were evident in the older elf’s voice. “We just received word today.” He pulled back, hands on Brian’s shoulders, looking him in the eye. In that instant, Brian realized that his parents were Tadhg’s family as well. “Oh, Brian, our family. I received the news and my heart wept for you.”
“It gladdens my heart to see you, Uncle. My heart, too, weeps at the loss.” Brian said softly. He found himself wrapped in Tadhg’s arms again. At the same instant, Leusha burst into the glade. There was no moment of hesitation. She met them almost at a run, adding her arms to their embrace. Brian welcomed his Aunt. He found that tears were building in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. Grief built in him, blocking out all else. IN their arms he felt the bonds of control he had put on himself disappearing.
With one last sigh, he let himself go, let the tears fall. He heard them weeping with him and knew that here were two who not only understood his pain, but shared in it. Together, they wept.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AJ pulled back from the hug with his Grandfather, looking at his face. “It is good to see you, honored grandfather.”
“My heart sings for seeing you again, honored grandson. I have become used to having you around. Having you gone dimmed my hearts singing.”
The words warmed AJ inside. Obeying protocol and manners, he turned and held a hand out to his friends. “You remember Richard and Geoff, grandfather. This is another friend I have gained that goes by the name of Donnelly.”
Richard and Geoff made to drop down to bow, but Flreu held a hand up to stop them. “Please, all three of you, be at ease. Formalities may be observed at another time. Now is a time for family, not for court. Please, I beg pardon for my manners, but there are things that are more important to be dealt with now.” That said, Flreu turned to AJ and took his hands. “We just received the news of our family today.” He said softly.
Realization dawned in AJ. Oh. Oh! They’d discovered what happened to Brian’s parents. Looking to his partner, AJ saw him and Tadhg embracing, whispering to one another. He watched as Leusha ran and joined their hug. “I killed the bastard that did this to them.” AJ said in a voice gone soft with rage. “He was executed for his crimes.”
The look Flreu wore was razor sharp. “Then justice was met. I hope you did not grant him an easy death, grandson.”
“Brian and I fought him and sliced him until he bled. Then I wrapped him still and delved his mind for all the knowledge that was there. When I was done, I beheaded him.”
Flreu nodded. “Good. This is just. Our family will rejoice for this news and this justice. You have done well, Alyck.”
A wave of grief rolled over their bond, almost buckling AJ’s knees. He felt the exact instant that Brian finally let go of his rigid control and let the pain free. It was almost enough to drop them both. It did drop Brian, him and his Aunt and Uncle sinking to the floor, still embracing.
“I tried to shelter him from the sight of it.” AJ said suddenly, his eyes never leaving Brian. “But he demanded to see them when I opened the door. That was all he got, though. A glimpse. I forced him to stay in the hall while I dealt with it. I honored them as best I could.”
“That is all we can do.” Putting a hand on AJ’s shoulder, Flreu stood beside him and watched their family. “Though it makes me want to weep that you had to see them that way. I hope your heart remembers them in a better way.”
“This was all a setup, Grandfather.” Frustration filled AJ. The anger he’d tried to temper down was boiling up. “How is it that we can’t travel until the full moon but they are getting over? They set this up! They killed them and then turned around and called the cops. They mage trapped the room so that I was unable to leave until the cops arrived.” Briefly AJ summed up everything that had happened to them. He didn’t realize at first that Tadhg and Leusha were listening to him.
He spoke of the cop station, of Donnelly and their escape, and of the attack at Sofia and Marzio’s. When he was done he found that his anger was higher than ever. “They set all of this up to try and trap me here. But…I don’t understand it. They had to know that I could escape from a jail! So what was the point of all this? It wouldn’t delay me. All it does is piss me off.”
“And distract you.” Tadhg interjected.
AJ looked over at him sharply. “What?”
“This forces you to focus in one place, one area. It drew your eyes to this and this alone. Maybe they hoped to tunnel your vision. Grief also makes people make mistakes. But why? Why would they want your attention drawn away?”
Why indeed? What on earth would they hope to do by distracting him with cops for not even a full day and filling his heart with grief? Maybe they hoped that grief would make him sloppy? “I’m missing something.” AJ mumbled to himself. He stepped away from Flreu to pace. “This hurts me, yes. People who are grieving, people who hurt, can make mistakes. But it only makes me more determined. They had to realize that. So…why would they do something that they knew might make me more determined to fight them?”
There seemed like there was one puzzle piece missing in all this. If he just had that piece he might be able to make the picture fit together.
“The note we were left at Kevin’s house said to bring ourselves to them on the night of the Na’aha and surrender to them and our friends would be set free. But I’m not stupid. They’d kill them and us. But if they want us there, thinking we’d be safe in surrendering, why on earth would they harm more family and risk pissing us off? That would make us want to fight them, not want to surrender.”
Running a hand through his hair, AJ lost himself in thought. He barely noticed that he was still speaking out loud as he paced. Something felt like it was just out of reach. If he could just figure out this last little piece, it would all make sense.
“Do they want us to fight? But why? There’s no logic to that. They have to know that I would mass an army on my side. That we would take them down. Unless…” Like lightening the thought hit him. AJ froze in place, his eyes wide and unseeing. Sweet God.
It was Brian who rose, who came over to him and put a hand on his arm. “You’ve thought of something.” He said softly. “What is it?”
AJ shook his head to clear out his thoughts. It made perfect sense. How had he not seen this? He locked eyes with Brian. “They knew what we’d do.” He said, his voice low yet still carrying to them all. “They knew that we’d gather everyone here and bring them home with us. That we’d want to fight. This wasn’t just about us.”
“Then what is it about?” Flreu spoke up.
“All of you.” Looking over at his Grandfather, AJ watched the realization slowly dawning there. “They knew you would all come with us. That all the races would. They want us, yes, but they want you all too. This isn’t a chance for surrender to stop the trulion from destroying them. This is butchers herding the cattle home to slaughter.”