AJ tried to clamp down on all the emotions running through him. The last thing he needed was for his temper to blow sky high with Brian standing only a few feet away from him. If he did anything that harmed him, it would be devastating. AJ had a long life to live with that kind of grief.
Then Howie casually announced what they were discussing, and AJ swore that he vision actually turned red. With temper ruling his reason, he channeled earth, and brought the sand around Howie’s feet up and over his ankles, then used it to suck him down into the beach. The shock on Brian’s face distracted him, so that he wasn’t paying enough attention when Howie shot back up, cursing a blue streak at him. Before he could properly respond, he was thrown backwards into the ocean.
He burst to the top of the water, spluttering and wiping at his face. On the beach Howie was glaring, hands on his hips. “I’ve had enough of your temper tantrum, Alyck!” he shouted. “Get over yourself and do what you need to do!” That said, he turned and stormed away.
By the time AJ reached the beach again, Howie was out of sight, and Brian was still standing there. The shock was gone, replaced by amusement. Seeing it there, the way that the corner of Brian’s mouth was quirked as he held back a smile, took the last edge off of AJ’s temper. He found himself smiling as he stood on the sand and shook himself like a dog.
“Find this funny, do you?” he asked, pretending to glare at him. Brian let his smile grow an nodded. “Actually, I do.”
AJ looked down at himself and sighed. He was drenched straight through. But the sun was shining brightly, and the day was warm. He sloshed his way forward, gesturing Brian to follow him as he moved toward a grassy patch. Once there, AJ pulled his wet shirt over his head, laying it out on a big rock. Next came the shoes and sock, then his pants and boxers. Once everything was laid out to dry on the rocks, AJ stretched out on the grass, smiling at Brian. He laced his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. “Have a seat, Bri. Might take a bit for them to dry.”
There was a rustling sound, followed by the soft noise of his lover sitting next ot him. “Can’t you just, pull the water out of them?”
“Oh, sure, but you can ruin the fabrics then. Wrinkles that won’t come out, or sometimes the color comes out with it. Just a lot easier to do it this way.”
He heard Brian chuckling. “In all the thinking that I did when I woke up, I can honestly say I never stopped to think that some things are easier to do the normal way, instead of with magic.” What AJ latched on to was that Brian had been awake longer than AJ had realized, and that he’d been thinking about things. It was hard not to demand he explain what conclusions he’d come to. Brian’s next words drove all thoughts out of his mind for a minute. “Are you going to ask what Howie suggested, or are we not going to talk about it at all?”
AJ opened his eyes. He couldn’t stop himself from staring up at Brian. Then his features firmed. “No, I’m not going to ask you. I already know what my answer would be.”
“Why?” There was no judgment in that word, no anger, but AJ felt guilty hearing it.
“There’s a chance that your heart won’t be able to handle what’s being done. That part of you would reject the magic, or push against it, or not want it. You have to accept it into yourself, embrace it like it’s all you need in life. Otherwise, it can kill you. I won’t be responsible for that if it kills you.” Deliberately AJ kept his voice hard. He didn’t want Brian thinking that it was some walk in the park.
“Alex, what if I told you that I did want it.” Brian’s words were hesitant, not as if they weren’t true, but as if he was trying to find a way to say things just right. “That I’d thought about all of what you told me, and my current life, and my future, and all of this trouble. That becoming like you is the only solution I came up with where everyone is happy.”
“How does risking your life make me happy?” AJ snapped. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for. You think you’d accept it with all your heart and soul? You don’t even accept all of yourself!”
A furrow appeared between Brian’s eyebrows. “What do you mean, accept all of myself?”
That was when AJ realized he’d shoved his foot in his mouth. Idiot. Stupid, freaking idiot! He hadn’t meant to let that slip. He’d wanted to talk calmly with Brian, and let him known about himself in a gentle way. There was no helping it now. “You have magic in you, Bri. I can see it, even though I can’t really feel it. I feel the potential in you, but I can see it in your heart. You’ve just locked it away.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t have any magic in me.”
God, he actually sounded serious. AJ had thought for sure that Brian would know a little about what he had inside of him. But if he was reading this right, Brian either had no idea, or he’d shut it so far back that he’d blocked even his memories. How was he going to explain this, let alone prove it? That was a stupid question. AJ knew what to do.
With a sigh he sat up, crossing his legs. He laid the backs of his hands on his knees, and looked right at Brian. “Do you want me to show you?”
There wasn’t any hesitation on Brian’s face. His lover simply nodded and turned, crossing his legs as well, so that they were knee to knee. Love for him swelled in AJ’s heart. No one else in the world would have taken everything so nonchalantly. Nor accepted it so fast.
“Touch your hands on mine, palm to palm. It’ll help you to focus on me.” When Brian did so, AJ gave him a reassuring smile. Even though they weren’t showing, he could feel the nerves humming under Brian’s skin. “I’m going to open up my magic and use the connection I have with you as a line between us. You’ll feel my magic when it comes in, but I need you to focus on my hands at first, until you adjust, do you hear me? Focus on my hands and my voice.”
“I got it, Alex.”
“Good, ok then. Here goes nothing.” AJ opened up that part of him and let it fill him. It was like the sun being inside of him. He sectioned off the part that was spirit, and funneled it along their connection. It didn’t take him long to find that core in Brian. As concentrated as he was on being gentle, he barely heard Brian gasp. But he felt his lovers surprise and awe.
“Focus on me, Brian.” He reminded him, staring at things that Brian couldn’t see. “We’ve got it here, ok. Trust me, don’t panic please. I’m going to do all I can to get this shield to let go. You’ve locked yourself so tight.”
After a few minutes of probing, AJ found what he was looking for. A spot where the shield was weak. As gently as possible, he arrowed his magic, and slipped through the shield. Instantly he was assaulted with memories. He focused on his center, holding on to who he was so he wouldn’t get lost underneath Brian’s thoughts. Without realizing it, he spoke as he gently uncovered each memory, baring it for the both of them to see. “Oh, my baby. My poor baby. The shame you carried, the fear!”
Memories flashed past them both, blinding them to the rest of the world. Brian as a baby, making the wind blow his mobile around. A toddler, making the sun shine on his face. A child, visiting his uncle. That memory tore at AJ, so that he felt tears in his eyes. The uncle finding the child making water dance by the stream. Yelling, cursing. Making the child afraid. Telling him that what he had was wrong, so wrong. Terrifying the child. Showing him how to lock it away, and the memories with it. Making it so that it never existed.
Tears sliding down his face, AJ bared these memories one by one, pulling the shield off in layers. Revealing to Brian who he was, one scrap at a time. When he was finished he stayed there, using his magic to heal over some of the wounds that he could. He felt Brian’s pain, his loss. With the return of those memories, Brian ached for what he had lost. For what he had hidden at the insistence of a narrow minded man. Then something that broke AJ’s heart. Shame seeped its way into Brian; shame and hurt that who he was had been so flawed his own Uncle had wanted him to hide it. Was there something wrong with him? Was his magic flawed, or evil, that his own relative would want him to hide it?
AJ wanted to cry out under the weight of the pain his lover felt. No, no he silently called. AJ opened himself up completely, and wrapped Brian in his own magic, so that they met in the middle, their magic’s mingling for the first time. It was like heaven. Pleasure beyond anything they had ever known. In it, AJ was baring his heart. See what I feel. See my heart. I love you, love you, love you. Only you. No shame, no pain. Broken thoughts and feelings pulsed between them.
Joy grew in Brian, spreading like a wildfire. Riding that wave, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to AJ’s.
Passion flared to life in AJ. A fire burned in him. He had no idea who moved first, but they came together, kissing fiercely. Their passion blazed and their magic pulsed through them. Every touch, every kiss, every brush of skin against skin only sent them flying higher. When they joined together, it intensified, leaving them mindless. The very air felt electric.
At the very end, when he couldn’t take anymore, AJ threw his head back in the grass and screamed his pleasure to the sky. He heard Brian’s shout right after his own, but then he was drifting, his brain unable to work, and his body lax. Brian collapsed beside him, and together, held tight in one another’s arms, they slept.