'I actually quit. I can't believe I actually quit. But what else was I supposed to do?' Brian thought to himself as he walked away from the entertainment room.
"Brian, wait."
Brian turned around and saw AJ.
AJ stopped when he was right in front of Brian.
"Are you okay?" AJ asked concerned.
Something inside Brian snapped.
"My whole life since I started this group has been torn to shreds. How can I be okay? I just found out that my cousin hates me and someone who used to be my best friend has 1) been cheating on me ever since we first got together and 2) has been using me as a fuck toy. And to top everything off, I find out you're in love with me." Brian snapped angrily.
Brian felt his anger wash away when he saw AJ's face turn sad.
"Alex, I'm sorry. A lot has happened in the past hour. I didn't mean to go off on you." Brian said sadly.
"Don't apologize. I understand." AJ said quickly looking down at the floor.
Brian heard sadness in AJ's voice and knew he hurt the younger man.
"I need to be alone so I can think about things." Brian said.
Brian watched as AJ nod before turning around and walking away with his head down and shoulders slumped. Tears blurred his vision as he quickly got into his bunk and closed the curtain.
'I am such an idiot.' Brian thought as he let his tears flow.
***************
'I am such a fucking idiot.' AJ thought sadly to himself as he walked back into the entertainment room.
"How dare you treat Brian like a piece of ass, Nick?"
AJ looked up to see Kevin standing angrily in front of Nick, who was sitting sadly on the couch.
"Kevin, don't you go off on Nick for being an ass to Brian until you go off on yourself." Howie said.
"Well said, D." AJ said as he took a seat by Nick on the couch.
"Why did I become such an asshole?" Nick asked sadly holding his head in his hands.
"We all do stupid shit, Nick." AJ said sighing.
"I have such an overinflated ego." Nick said.
"I will give you that one." AJ said.
Nick raised up his head and looked at AJ.
"I'm really sorry, J." Nick said sincerely.
"Me too, Nick. But, I'm not the one who deserves the apology." AJ said.
"I know. There's so much to apologize to him for that I don't know where to start or how to do it." Nick admitted.
AJ looked up at his oldest band mate when he started to pace.
"You're a fucking idiot, Kevin." AJ said.
Kevin just continued to pace ignoring AJ.
'Did I really call my family a fag? Did I really go off on Brian because he's gay? I treated Brian like shit after telling him I was afraid someone would hurt him.' Kevin thought to himself.Kevin stopped pacing and dropped to his knees, bursting into tears. He felt arms wrap around him and looked up at Nick.
"What have I done?" Kevin cried.
*****************
Brian laid in his bunk thinking about everything.
'What happened to my friendship with Nick? You and Nick got into a relationship. That's what happened. I don't think I ever loved Nick, did I?' Brian thought to himself.He sighed closing his eyes tiredly. He yawned.
'I'll just go to sleep for a while.' Brian thought as he slowly fell asleep.
****************
AJ sat there on the couch watching Nick rocking a sobbing Kevin.
"Hey man. How are you doing?"
AJ looked up to see Howie taking a seat beside him.
"Not so good. Brian hates me for loving him." AJ said sadly, tears filling his eyes.
"Brian doesn't hate you. I know for a fact that he can never hate you." Howie said.
"Brian does hate me." AJ cried.
"Hopefully sometime soon, you'll see that Brian doesn't hate you." Howie said softly.
"Doubt it. Brian will always hate me." AJ cried sadly.
*******************
Nick continued rocking Kevin, who was clinging tightly to him as Nick held him close when he heard Kevin's sobs quiet down.
"Are you better, Boo?" Nick whispered in Kevin's ear using his old nickname.
Kevin raised his head and Nick saw how physically, emotionally and mentally drained Kevin looked.
"Come on, Boo." Nick said softly.
"Where are we going?" Kevin asked quietly.
"I'm taking you to lay down." Nick said getting up and helping Kevin up.
Nick looked over at Howie and AJ.
"I'm going to take Kevin to lay down." Nick said.
"I think all of us needs to lay down. It’s been an emotional bus ride so far." Howie said.
"It has. See you guys later." Nick said. He led Kevin out of the room and over to Kevin's bunk.
"Nicky?" Kevin said quietly looking down.
"What's wrong, Boo?" Nick asked the older man concerned.
Kevin looked back up at Nick.
"I don't want to be alone. Can you please lay down with me and hold me?" Kevin asked.
"Of course." Nick said softly.
Nick felt his heart flutter as Kevin gave him a smile.
'My heart is fluttering at Kevin smiling at me? He's smiled at me tons of times. Why is now any different? Maybe you feel something for the older man. I have feelings for Kevin? You've loved him ever since you first met him. Woah. Back up. Holy shit! I'm in love with Kevin.' Nick gasped in shock at his thoughts.
"Nicky?"
Nick came out of his daze to see Kevin already in the bunk looking at him confused.
"What?" Nick asked confused.
"I said are you coming?" Kevin asked softly.
Nick climbed into the bunk and closed the curtain.