The first person to regain his voice was Nick. “Let’s take this in Kevin’s room.” He said as he glanced around the hall at the security milling there. No one spoke as they all shuffled into Kevin’s room. Brian and AJ kept their hold on one another as they followed everyone inside. While someone was shutting the door they moved to the couch and took a seat. AJ was still in shock, though for different reasons than the others. He couldn’t believe that Brian had told them! At the same time, Brian really couldn’t believe it either. He had no idea what had come over him.
Everyone else arrayed themselves on the furniture around the living room. It was Howie who started the conversation, speaking the question that was on everyone’s mind. “What I want to know about is your heart. Is this serious, Bri?” he asked him. There was concern under the shock in his eyes.
Shifting against AJ, Brian gave a slight sigh. “If I don’t take care of it, then yes. I was hoping I’d be able to wait for the end of the tour but the doctor told me that she thought I needed to get in with my own cardiologist as quickly as possible. She said she’ll fax the test results and everything to him so he’ll have it first thing in the morning. I got the impression she expects me to be there tomorrow as well.”
“Is it serious enough for surgery again?” Kevin asked quietly. His voice was all the more powerful for its softness.
It was AJ who spoke up this time. “She didn’t say what his options would be. She told us that if it’s left untreated it can be life threatening.”
“But how did they miss this the last time?” Nick demanded to know. “I mean, shouldn’t they have checked this out and fixed it?”
That was the trick question in all of this, and one that Brian was ready for. “Kev, you might remember. They said that there was a small hole when I had my surgery, but that it wasn’t big enough to cause any damage. He did warn me that the surgery could cause it to grow slightly and present itself later on. I’d just forgotten totally about it. It’s why I see the cardiologist in Portland, remember? I get yearly checkups from him.”
“So shouldn’t he have caught it?” At Howie’s question they all turned to look back at Brian again. He just shrugged. “I don’t know, you guys. Maybe. Maybe it didn’t grow until now. I’m not a cardiologist, so I can’t answer all of this. When I talk to him I’ll have more information to give you.”
For a moment the room was silent. Everyone was processing all that they’d heard, and were amazed by it all. It was Kevin who broke their silence. “I can call management in the morning, and then book us a flight out of here. We can get you there by the afternoon, I think. Portland’s not too far away by flight.”
Already Brian was shaking his head. “I’m not taking everyone with me, Kev. No.” He cut them all off before they could protest. “No, I won’t. There’s nothing you guys would be able to do but sit around and wait. When I know more, when we have a plan, then you guys can come. But I’m not bringing you guys there to just sit around and wait on me. There’s plenty here to take care of first that will keep y’all occupied.”
“I guess we could do some things while we wait. If you’re sure it’s what you want.” Howie said slowly. When Brian nodded at him, he sighed softly. “We can get you a ticket out early in the morning then, or any time really.”
“Two.” AJ piped up. All eyes moved to him. A corner of his mouth was quirked. “Two tickets, D.”
“But, he just said he’s going alone…” Nick started. Then he seemed to realize who he was talking to. Of course Brian would want his boyfriend there with him. That also drew everyone’s attention back to the other piece of news. A flush stained Brian’s cheeks and AJ gave all of them his famously cheeky grin. “Yes, I was wondering when we’d get back to that.” AJ chuckled.
Somehow Howie found himself smiling back. The sheer joy on AJ’s face combined with the happiness and embarrassment on Brian’s face made quite a picture. “How long as this been going on, you two?” he teased them.
AJ shrugged, looking at Brian for a second. “Six months, give or take?” he posed it as a question, and Brian nodded.
“Six months?” Howie cried, right as Kevin and Nick both said “What?” Followed by Kevin asking “But I thought Nick said that Brian had a girlfriend?”
Laughter echoed through the room. Leave it to AJ to be amused by the whole situation. Still flushing, Brian hurried to explain. “Nick assumed that in my room and I just didn’t bother to correct him. At the time it was a little easier. But, AJ’s been ready for a while to tell you guys, and with all this shit cropping up with my heart, well, I figured it was easier to answer questions about AJ now instead of a month down the road when you’re all wondering why I’m keeping him with me so much at the hospital.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian chewed his lip as he watched his friends stare at him. He leaned a little further into AJ, grateful for the arm that AJ had kept around his shoulders. It made him feel a little more comfortable, as well as more capable to face anything that was thrown at him. He knew that no matter what was said, AJ would stand beside him. He would defend him and stick up for him. To have that in his life was a heady feeling.
“But, but, you’re not gay, Brian.” Kevin said slowly. His eyes were slightly glazed looking, and his voice had a confused sound to it. But his words had Brian’s muscles tightening underneath AJ’s arm. This had been what he’d been afraid of. That worry was evident in his voice as he replied to Kevin’s statement that hadn’t really been a question. “I am, Kev. I know it’s hard for you to accept, but I love him. More than anyone else I’ve ever known. He…well, he makes me happy.”
“But, you’ve been raised so differently from this. You know better. This isn’t how relationships are supposed to do. Haven’t you thought about what this will do to your mom and dad?”
A low growl from AJ caught all their attention. His eyes had turned slightly fierce. “Watch the guilt trip, Kevin.” He warned. There was no mistaking the temper that was present in his voice. Brian laid a hand soothingly on AJ’s leg. He appreciated the defense, but he didn’t want AJ’s temper spiking. Generally it wasn’t pretty when he blew, and if Brian had learned anything it was that AJ had a short fuse on his temper. That fuse was even shorter if it was in defense of someone that he loved. “It’s ok, Alex.” He whispered to his love.
From the corner of his eye Brian could see that the others were surprised when AJ took a deep breath, sighed, and settled back into his seat. Usually there wasn’t any stopping AJ’s anger until he was good and ready to stop.
Underneath his shock, Kevin was feeling a slight anger towards AJ. It wasn’t that he thought being gay was disgusting or anything, but, it was something that other people did. Not his family. Not his friends. Brian had been raised in a better home than that! He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that AJ had corrupted his cousin. “I just don’t understand. Since when is my cousin gay? You and I used to double date! You liked women just fine. How could you go from being normal to, well, to this!” he demanded.
Any soothing that Brian had done was lost, and he knew it. He would have sighed if it would have done any good. Instead he hurried to speak, hoping to at least stave off AJ’s temper long enough that he could diffuse the situation. Most of his attention was focused on AJ, wanting to keep track of his anger. Sure, what Kevin said hurt, and later he might think on it. But it was no less than he expected. Not to mention that his parents were probably going to be ten times worse.
“I didn’t just turn this way, cos. I think I’ve always been like this, but just never realized it. Between our religion and my own ideas, I never allowed myself to think of the possibility. I fought it for a long time, I really did. But it got to a point when I couldn’t deny it anymore. We’d be hanging out and AJ would be telling one of his stories, and I’d get lost in the way his eyes would sparkle when he was happy. Or I could be having a bad day, and he’d just give me a hug and everything would suddenly feel better.”
Brian tipped his head to smile up at AJ. They locked eyes as he continued to speak. “Everything seemed brighter when he was around, and darker when he wasn’t. When I’m with him, I’m complete. Without him, it’s like being without air. I can’t quite catch my breath until he’s back again.” Turning to look at Kevin, Brian tried to get his point across. “Can’t you understand that, Kevin? It’s the same as how you feel about your wife. Like you told me one time, it’s like I found the other part of my soul.”
“What you two have is nothing like what I have with my wife.” Kevin snapped out. He rose to his feet, glowering down at them. In one moment everything in his world had been turned upside down. The cousin that he loved like a brother tells them that he has a hole in his heart, and then that he’s gay. How was a person supposed to process that? “What my wife and I share is normal, and blessed by God. What you to have isn’t right. Not for religious people like us. You’re just confused, Brian. That’s all it is.”
Despite Brian’s best efforts to grab on to him, AJ managed to slip away from Brian and shoot to his feet. Resigned to what was coming next, Brian simply sat back against the couch to watch and wait. His eyes met Howie’s across the room, and the little eye roll and grin that Howie gave had Brian grinning in response. They both knew AJ, probably better than anyone in this room, and they both knew that there was no point in going after him when he was this riled. It wouldn’t do any good.
There had been enough stress for the day. Brian pushed all if to the back of his mind and focused instead on watching his boyfriend in full rage mode. There was something deliciously sexy about an angry AJ. Hm, yes, most definitely sexy.
“How dare you stand there and judge what we have.” AJ hissed as he stepped right up to Kevin. “You have no idea in your biased little mind what we feel for one another. What makes you think you have the right to question the fact that he loves me, or that I love him?”
“It’s not love, AJ. Brian was raised better than this!”
“Better than what, exactly, Kevin?” AJ’s voice dropped dangerously low. “Better than love? Better than finding someone who both loves and respects him? Explain to me what exactly ‘this’ is.”
Kevin raised his hands, gesturing in the air as he spoke, growing more heated as the conversation continued. “We were raised with religion and religious values. Being gay is not a part of that life, AJ. Being gay is something that happens to people like you, not people like him!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Kevin wished he could take them back. Everyone gasped and looked at him in shock.
“You don’t know the first thing about Brian.” AJ said slowly. His hands were balled to fists at his sides and were quivering from how tightly he held them. “And you don’t understand the first thing about us. What should matter to you is that we love one another, and respect one another, and are happy. But you can’t get beyond your precious religious values to see what’s right in front of your face. Open your eyes, Kevin. You might actually manage to see.”
“I see that somehow you’ve tricked my cousin into being something that he’s not. I see that you’re going to take advantage of someone softer than you, and who has a whole lot less experience in this world.”
Brian winced from his spot on the couch. Not because of what Kevin was saying about him; that was no surprise really. Kevin had always treated him like the younger family member he was. No, he winced because he knew how AJ was going to react. He wasn’t disappointed by it. He was surprised, though, that AJ didn’t throw a punch. He did let out a growl that was low and menacing.
“I swear, Kevin, you can be such a fucking idiot! Are you kidding me with this bullshit?” As always, the higher AJ’s temper got, the worse his language became. “He’s not a fucking child! You act like Brian’s some stupid shit who can’t think for himself. Give him some God damn credit! He’s one of the smartest fucking people I know! Yes, he’s kind. Yes, he’s friendly. None of that means that he’s a fucking idiot when it comes to people! Do you think he’s so stupid he can’t tell what his own feelings are? Who the hell are you to tell us what we feel for one another!”
“There is no way he is in love with you, AJ! My cousin would never love another man, let alone do…anything else with a man!”
Brian covered his face with his hands as a blush stained his cheeks. There was no way to stop AJ from talking, and he knew what was going to come out of his mouth next. “AJ.” He moaned, wishing he could gag his lover. Wishing AJ would think through his temper and watch what he said. Naturally, the wishes weren’t granted.
“I hate to break it to you, Kevin, but he does the ‘anything else’ almost every single night, and has for almost six months straight now.”
Too late Brian realized what AJ was doing. He had intentionally pissed Kevin off, knowing what Kevin’s eventual reaction would be. Brian launched to his feet, as did Howie, right as Kevin punched AJ in the gut. Even as winded as he was, AJ still grinned when he threw his head up and straightened to throw a punch of his own. Luckily Brian got there first, grabbing hold of AJ’s hand and placing himself between the two. Howie stepped in front of Kevin while Nick grabbed hold of Kevin’s arm.
Brian shut the rest of them out and brought a hand up to AJ’s face. “I don’t want you to hit him.” He said simply. Those words did more than any shouting would have. There was still anger in AJ’s eyes, but it dimmed down from the rage that it had been. “Just once?”
“Uh uh.” Brian shook his head. He brought their joined hands down. He pulled AJ’s hand behind him and let go. His love took the hint and held Brian’s waist loosely. “I don’t want you to hit him, Alex. It’s not worth it. Most of what he said he’s going to end up regretting tomorrow.” As Brian said the words, he realized that he believed them. He had no worry about Kevin, once his cousins temper cooled off. “We slammed him with a lot at one time, baby. Give him time to respect it. Don’t deliberately provoke him.”
AJ didn’t even bother to look chagrined. Instead, his lower lip jutted out. Brian had to resist the urge to chuckle. “Take me to our room, Alex. I think we’re due for quiet time.”
When AJ sighed and nodded, Brian finally turned to look at the others. Kevin was gone, as was Nick, but Howie still stood there, smiling at the two of them. “Nick went back to the bedroom with Kev to calm him down.” He explained.
“I’m taking this one to do the same. We’ll probably catch an early flight out, but I’ll text you when we land, and you guys all know our cell numbers. We’ll get a hold of you as soon as we know anything.”
“I know, Bri.” Howie stepped forward and gave the two of them a quick group hug. “You two take care, ok?”
With a last nod and a smile, Brian led his lover from the room.
~~~~~~~~
AJ grumbled under his breath as Brian led him through the hall and down to his room. Once inside it took everything he had not to go find his smokes and his ashtray. Even though it was his room, he still tried to respect the fact that Brian didn’t smoke. But his temper was still sitting right below the surface, leaving him feeling as if his skin was stretched on too tight. He couldn’t get the things Kevin had said out of his mind.
So it caught him off guard when Brian pushed him up against the wall and started to kiss him senseless. Those warm hands he loved so much were running over his body, igniting fires everywhere they went. When Brian broke the kiss to move his lips along AJ’s jaw, AJ found that he was already breathing heavily. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” he practically panted. Oh, God, Brian’s lips were on his neck, right below his ear. His knees actually trembled slightly.
“You were so sexy in there.” Brian whispered against his skin. He ran his hands up and under AJ’s shirt, tracing across the skin. He slid them over AJ’s back, pulling their bodies closer together so that they both moaned. “All riled and angry and just…delicious.”
His mood was rubbing off on AJ. What had happened back there started to fade from his mind, replaced with the fireworks he always felt when Brian touched and kissed him. As Brian’s hands slid forward and unsnapped his jeans, AJ gave up all chance of thinking and just lost himself in his lover.